Long Rides

We were eating dinner together at a restaurant. I was poking my lasagna while staring at Jonathan across the table. We haven’t talked yet.

“Hey,” Caleb whispered, bending down so he was whispering next to my ear.

“Yeah?”

“Have you talked to him yet?”

I shook my head.

“What are you waiting for?”

I shrugged. “The timing, I guess…”

“Is it the timing, or you’re afraid to talk?”

“I am not!” I hissed.

“Whoa, chill, love.”

I huffed and started poking my lasagna again.

“He’s the one that’s afraid to talk, actually,” he said.

“Why?”

He shrugged. “You have to find out about it by yourself,” he murmured before walking over to Ali and started making a conversation. A few times he glanced at me and motioned towards Jonathan, and then continued talking with her.

I sighed as I took out my Blackberry.

We need to talk. – A.G.

“Wait a moment, Austin,” he said between his laughs. “I think someone texted me.” He reached out his phone in his pocket, flipped it open, and his expression changed as he read the message. His eyes slowly darted off to me.

“Umm, I’m gonna go outside for a while,” he said before standing up and left.

“Guys, I think I need the toilet,” I excused and followed Jonathan outside.

I pushed the door open and Jonathan was waiting for me. I walked over him and looked up to his eyes.

“What do you want to talk about?” he asked.

“Us.”

“What about us?”

“More like you, actually. What’s wrong with you? Why are you avoiding me?”

“I wasn’t avoiding you.”

“Yes you are! And it’s so obvious.”

He looked away for a while before looking back at me.

“I was afraid of Caleb.”

“Why would you be afraid of him? You know he’s into Ali now.”

He shook his head slowly. “Correction – I was afraid of you. I was afraid to know your feelings toward me. Although I know you’re looking at me as a brother—“

“I was!”

He stopped, mouth hung open.

“I’ve been thinking lately,” I started. “When I kissed you. I didn’t feel anything wrong. It felt so right – God, I don’t know how to explain!” I shrieked in frustration, holding my head and then let them hanging loosely back down to my sides. I began to stutter, “It felt so right – so right that I don’t know how to explain. It felt like magic rushed to me – something telling me to love you. To look at you more than a brother.”

“Even though you do like me, we’re 5 years apart.”

“So what?! I don’t care if you’re like, 10 years older or 10 years younger. What’s important is how we feel. Jonathan, I like you. So much.”

“We’re going too fast—“

“We are not!”

“Stop being so stubborn!”

“Hello, mirror usage? You are stubborn too!”

“Just let me talk, okay?” I kept quiet and he started talking. “I didn’t like you that way when I started to know you. But every day, I discovered a lot of interesting things in you that made me attracted.”

“And that’s why they call me a guys’ magnet,” I muttered.

“Because you’re not shy! That’s what so interesting about you. You’re open up to everybody and you’re not shy letting out the real you, showing people of you really are. Even if you just met them.”

“That’s what they say,” I muttered again.

He took both of my hands, looking down to the two pairs of hands attached before looking into my eyes.

“I don’t think I can date you. Yet,” he said. “I’m sorry – but you just realize how you feel about me.” He removed a hand to place it on my cheek. “I don’t want to rush.”

“I don’t mind.”

“Are you ready for another relationship yet?”

I couldn’t answer.

“You’re not, right?”

“But I want to be with you!”

“We don’t need to date yet,” he said softly, “We’re gonna go slowly, and if you’re ready, tell me.”

“You’re just like Caleb,” I giggled. “But that sounds like a good idea, though. So I’m a step closer to a girlfriend?”

“I guess so,” he sighed.

“Jonathaaan,” I whined.

“This is why I hate dating younger girls.”

“Oh?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Nothing,” he smiled and bent down to kiss my forehead. “Save your lips for me.”

“Well, yours too.”

“Oh shut up,” he laughed before placing a hand around my waist and we walked back into the restaurant.