Long Rides

I was inside the van, sitting on the passenger seat as I looked at the pictures in my camera that I had been taking these past few months. I giggled at the picture when Jack was playing his guitar while wearing a bra that was thrown to the stage during their performance. And then I went to the next picture, and my smile faded. It was a picture of Jonathan kissing my cheek while I was holding a glass of coke.

The picture gave an ache in my heart, so I clicked a button. The writing on the display said, Erase the picture? I was about to click ‘yes’ when Arne’s voice popped behind me.

“You don’t wanna erase that picture.”

“Since when you’re here, Arne?” I asked.

“Since you looked so sad staring at your camera. You don’t wanna erase the picture, Athe,” he repeated.

I sighed. “Fine.” I clicked ‘no’. “Happy now?”

“Never been happier,” he grinned. “You might wanna spend the whole day with them, this is our last day. We’re going back to California tomorrow, right?” I nodded. “We’ll be waiting for you.” He went out of the van and gathered back with the others.

I sighed as I turned off my camera and went out of the van before locking it. Making sure I looked okay, I stuffed the van’s keys into my pocket and joined the others with my camera in hand.

All Time Low and Forever the Sickest Kids will finish their tour in 3 days. We needed a few days to drive back to California, and our ‘time-off’ would end in 2 weeks and then we would go back to our jobs and work. Each of us worked in different places with different jobs, and I felt we were so lucky that our bosses were really kind to give us a few months time off every year.

We spent the whole day having fun, but I didn’t talk even a word with Jonathan. He was upset I never told him about my past and told it to the ‘two-guys-that-liked-me-so-much’ instead, that was what he said. Excuse me, but Caleb had moved on and now he liked Ali, although I wasn’t really sure about Alex…

The next day, we were in this car park and having our goodbye moment. Vincent was talking to Austin and Rian, Arne was talking to Marc, Jonathan and Zack, Verion was with Kyle, just cuddling and talking on the bus’ stairs.

I was with Caleb, sitting side by side on the concrete and leaning against the bus while watching the others.

“4 months were pretty short, huh?” he said and I nodded.

“I’ll miss you.”

He laughed. “Don’t act as if we’ll never see each other anymore; California is in the list of Warped Tour this year. Don’t worry.”

“But we four are going to be really busy with our jobs since we need to catch up.”

“I bet you won’t be that busy.”

“You act as if you’re not busy. You should be busier than us; you’re a rockstar!”

He laughed again. “You’re right.”

“Guys, we’re leaving in 10 minutes!” Joey announced as he stepped into the bus.

“Come on, let’s join the others.” Caleb stood up as Kyle and Verion joined the others, and I followed him walking to the others.

We formed a big circle and we just chatted.

“Three minutes!” Joey shouted.

We all shared goodbyes and hugged each other. Jack gave me a massive, choking hug like I was his mom who would leave him for eternity. I was wondering how he could hug me that hard with his skinny figure. Jonathan didn’t move a bit towards me, so I collected all of my courage and decided to go to him. I patted his back and smiled when he turned around.

“Hey,” he said.

“This is it, we’re going on our separate ways,” I started.

“Yeah…”

It was silence for a while. Awkward.

“Good luck, Athe.”

“What for?”

He shrugged. “For anything’s ahead.”

“Right,” I smiled.

“We’re leaving! If you don’t want me to leave you, be in the bus in 2 minutes!” Joey reminded.

I didn’t expect Jonathan to open up his arms with a smile for the last time. I didn’t expect myself to bury myself in his chest for the last time. I didn’t expect to have our arms around each other so tight for the last time. I didn’t expect us to whisper goodbyes to each other.

We pulled away and then he walked into his bus. I then went into my van and sat in the middle seat and waited for the others to take their places in the van. Verion started up the engine as Vincent sat on the passenger seat and Arne sat next to me. They both closed the doors and Verion locked it, and then she started to drive out of the car park with ATL and FTSK’s bus behind us.

We were in the same street until the traffic light. Their bus turned right while our van stopped because the traffic light was red.

I could see Jack’s face staring at our van through the window. Caleb too. Kyle, Alex, Marc… everyone.

Then I heard the cars behind us honked at us. Verion continued to drive.

Spring is coming any time soon. March is going to greet us in a few days. Our long rides stop here. For now.