Holding Back Temptation

I’ve always thought of it as stupid, and weird, not until I tried it. My first slit. Something I regretted for the rest of my life. I was alone in the house, and I was so upset because I had the worst day at school, and because of past events and bad memories. I took my dad’s chef knife from the kitchen, and lightly scratched myself. Nothing. No marks, even though it did hurt a little. So I tried a little harder, this time with the same motion of a swiping credit hard. I looked at the scar for a few seconds, and noticed that blood was slowly emerging from my wrist. I squeezed it, and let more blood out. It hurt, But it felt good. I stared at it for a minute, and felt something grab me, as if it told me to do more. I did it again, with the same motion as before, and watched as my blood slowly came out of my slightly opened wrist. It hurt, I felt the pain, but it was a different sort of pain, enjoyable pain, and slowly as this euphoria began to subside, I felt these cold fabulous shivers running up my spine. I tried it once more, because I was temped. And by temped I mean I felt as if I had to do it, I thought of it as a duty.

I then went into the kitchen, washed my wrist, along with the knife, and went back into my bedroom. I sat on my bed, my wrist was stinging, but I didn’t care. I stared at my wrist, the marks were clearly visible, three bright red thin lines on my wrist. It felt good to keep a secret no-one knew of. I lay there on my bed thinking. Now that I had done what I did, I should think about all the consequences. Would I do it again? How do I hide it? Will it stay there ceaselessly and forever? Should I tell anyone? Why did I do it? I lay there thinking about all the possible answers I can give myself. I was incapable of sleeping, and my thoughts were starting to take over and stimulate my mind. Soon, I was tired, and I couldn’t think no more. I had surrendered, and ‘sleep’ had taken over.