Battling the Loss You Live For.

Frank’s Point of View
“Sazzy… I never got to ask how you are,” Shy said, smiling slightly at her older daughter, leaning back in her seat.
“I’m… okay,” Sazzy replied, smiling weakly back at her.
“Okay?”
“I was involved in a fire yesterday,” Sazzy mumbled, scratching her head.
Fuck, I thought, here it goes.
“What?! My God, what happened?”
Sazzy explained everything to her, from when she was in the staff area to when she arrived at Star Bucks.
“You’re okay now, though, aren’t you?” her Mother asked, genuinely worried, after Sazzy finished her little story. My stomach started twisting, nerves getting the better of me as Sazzy got closer and closer to confessing about our relationship to her Mom.
“Yeah, I am. But Mum… when it all happened, I realised how much everyone I know means to me. And, um - how much… Frank means to me.”
“Frank…?”
I lifted my head up at the mention of my name, to see Shy’s eyes burning into me, full of wonder and confusion.
“Yeah, Frank. See… the thing is… we’ve kind of… been dating?” Sazzy mumbled, her eyes averting to her lap, taking her turn to wring her hands.
Oh, fuck!
“You’ve been… you two…?” she seemed to not believe what Sazzy was saying, trying not to believe it.
“Yes… we’ve-”
“Do not say another word.”
Her words rang out, silencing Sazzy. She didn’t say anything, again, for a while. She seemed to be thinking, her eyes darting across the coffee table in front of her.
“How long?” she muttered, almost venomously.
“Al-almost a year,” Sazzy replied, whispering. I took a hold of her hand subtly, burying them in the space in between us so her Mom wouldn’t see. I squeezed her hand, and she squeezed back shakily.
“A year… One whole year! You’ve been going against my rules and your culture for a year now?!”
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
“I - Mum, I…”
“Be quiet!”
“We should probably leave,” I said, squeezing Sazzy’s hand again. She nodded, about to stand.
“Neither of you are going anywhere.”
“Then either let me talk or-”
“Okay, fine. Talk,” she said, crossing her arms across her chest, waiting for Sazzy’s explanation.
“I love him,” she said fiercely, her eyes narrowing.
“How do you know?” her Mom replied curtly.
“How do you know that I don’t? Look at me,” Sazzy spat viciously, pointing at herself with her free hand.
“I’m thin. I’m ill. I was and might still be depressed. Because we were apart for only two months!” she finished, her livid and tense gaze holding her Mother’s.
Shy didn’t say anything, just looking over Sazzy’s appearance. Her eyes didn’t give her away.
“How you didn’t notice… I don’t know. I don’t care,” Sazzy whispered her eyes still locked on the middle-aged woman sat opposite to her.
No one uttered a sound for a solid four minutes.
“I’m sorry. But I’m not going to… do this anymore. I cannot keep pretending me and Frank are just friends. It’s not right, and unfair,” Sazzy explained, sighing a little.
“Do you love her?” Shy mumbled. Her voice was soft, sounding tired.
“More than anything,” I whispered, turning to meet Sazzy’s slightly distressed features, seeing them soften. Shy sighed loudly, frustrated.
“How does it work, your relationship? Frank, you live in America now, and Sazzy, you’re here.”
“Long-distance relationship,” Sazzy said, rolling her eyes. Shy sighed again.
“You… you two cannot be together. Sazzy… what are your uncles going to think? Our family is going to be disgraced,” she sounded like she was getting angry again, her words passing through gritted teeth.
“Disgraced? Don’t be ridiculous. How will it? Just because I’m not complying with a stupid unwritten rule,” Sazzy spat, her hand tightening around mine.
“It’s not a rule. It’s your culture,” her Mother shot back, spite lacing her tone. Sazzy scowled at her, adjusting herself in her seat ready to stand.
“We’re leaving. We’ve done what we came to do.”
“And what are you going to do on my verdict of your - of you and Frank?”
“That depends, most likely nothing. It doesn’t matter to me anymore,” Sazzy replied, standing up. I followed suit, our hands still laced with each others’. Shy’s eyes darted to them, Sazzy not seeming to notice. Her eyes flew from our hands to my eyes, scrutinizing me. There was something there, something we held that was weird, out of place. She was so different.
I broke our gaze, my eyes shifting to Sazzy, and pulling her softly towards the door, down the hallway to the front door. I clicked it open, stepping out and hearing the door shut softly after a few seconds. I carried on walking, still grasping onto her hand, only turning to her when we reached the rented car.
She was shaking; her features distressed and scared, the barrier she’d created in the house demolished.
She broke down, tears streaming down her face, and I held her, never letting go.