Battling the Loss You Live For.

Frank’s Point of View
We got back to the house quickly, and I unlocked the door, an arm around her waist, leading her in. She moved out of my arm, walking swiftly into the living room, and I sighed, shutting the front door behind me softly. I heard the flick of a lighter, and the small, fragile sound of her inhaling, knowing that she’d lit up a cigarette. I stood in the doorway, watching as her slim, pale fingers held the thin, white stick elegantly, moving it towards her lips every now and then as she sat on the sofa. Her free hand was cupping her chin, her elbow resting on her knee, her hand occasionally wiping away tears from under her hollow-looking eyes.
“Sazzy?” I whispered, not moving from my place against the door frame, my eyes still glued to her every move. She didn’t say anything or make any acknowledgement of my voice.
“I thought you’d wanted to do this.”
“I did,” she snapped, not looking at me, her expression never changing.
“Then?”
“I’m sorry I have emotions, Frank,” she was bitter, aggressive almost. I moved off the door frame, walking over and sitting next to her, watching as she stubbed out the cigarette. I took her hand, lacing it with mine and raising my free hand to her face, cupping her chin and forcing her gaze to me, our eyes locking.
“I’m proud of you.”
Her eyes seemed to fill, the hardness of them disappearing.
“…Really?” she whispered, her head tilting slightly to the side. I smiled at her, nodding.
“Yeah. I really am,” I leant forward, placing my lips against hers softly, before moving away, wrapping my arms around her and letting her rest her head against my chest, her fingers tracing my collarbone.
“I just… knew it was going to be hard, but didn’t think-”
“I know. It’s okay,” I mumbled into her hair. I felt her relax into me, sighing softly, contentedly.

“Frank?”
I sat up quickly, rubbing my eyes with my fists, blinking slowly to relive myself of the dizziness.
“Charley? Fucking hell, what time is it?”
“Four in the morning… hey, man, can I talk to you?” he whispered, his eyes frantic, panicked.
He was knelt by the side of the bed, fully dressed. In fact, it looked like he’d just come back from somewhere.
I groaned, moving the duvet off me a little, making sure not to wake Sazzy. She was still a little ratty and emotional about the whole thing that happened with her Mom, and if I woke her she’d probably kill me.
I followed Charley out of the room, pulling on a random shirt off the floor on the way out, realising how cold it was.
He shut the living room door behind him, sitting on the sofa and pulling out a pack of Marlboro Lights out of his pocket, giving me one before he lit one for himself.
“So what’s up?” I asked, rubbing my forehead. I was still dizzy from sitting up real fast.
“I… think that… I’m in love,” he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. I didn’t know what to say.
“Charley… man, that’s great. I didn’t know you were with anyone,” I said, genuinely happy for him. He’s my best friend, and deserves to be with someone he likes, loves, even.
“No,” he shook his head, “I’m not. That’s the thing… I’m not with her. And it’s killing me.”
“Fuck. Man, I’m sorry, dude.”
“It’s alright… man, I just… I dunno what to do, y’know? I love her so much… I’m just scared, I don’t wanna-”
“Hey, Charley… who is she? She’s seems like she’s ripping you up, man.”
“…Sydney.”
I was shocked. So shocked, I was lost for words.
“…Frank?” he mumbled, leaning slightly, seeing if I was alright.
“Sydney? As in Sydney, who’s sleeping upstairs?” I asked stupidly, my eyes wide and eyebrows furrowed.
“…Yeah. I know… it’s so bad! That’s why I need your help, I just don’t know what the fuck to do anymore, I just… walk around, in denial of it, but-”
“You have to tell her. Seriously, if it’s on your mind like this all the time, then-”
“But what if she rejects me? I wouldn’t know what to do. She’s everything… God, I’d die,” he groaned, letting his head drop into his hand, his elbow propped on the arm of the sofa. I took a drag of my cigarette, exhaling slowly.
“She won’t do that to you. She’s not like that. Just… tell her. She’ll probably be shocked for a while or something… but she won’t shun you out or nothing,” I said, sure of myself. Sydney was nice, always there. I could never imagine her breaking someone’s heart, let alone Charley’s, who was one of her best friends. She’s just not that kind of person.
“I just fucking can’t.”
“You have to try. It’s gonna eat you alive otherwise.”
I watched him as his bright blue eyes went distant, watching him think.
“…I suppose you’re right…” he mumbled, finishing his cigarette and stubbing it out. I did the same, rubbing at my eyes. They stung like a bitch.
“Hey, I’m gonna go back to bed, okay? I’m fucking tired,” I said, standing up. He nodded, following suit and followed me up the stairs, each saying goodnight as we walked into our rooms.
I just couldn’t believe he was in love with Sydney.