Battling the Loss You Live For.

Frank’s Point of View
I couldn’t believe I’d – we’d – had done that.
How could I of been so reckless? Of course she’d want… of course she would have… Oh, God.
Replaying the scene in my head, I suppose I couldn’t deny her – I’ve wanted it for so long and her saying she wanted it too, kind of… I don’t know.
It’s not that I regretted it, God, no; it’s just that… she’d had those principles for so long, and I broke them. I was responsible for it all.
“Frank… please,” she whimpered against my mouth, her voice hushed and her eyes filled with lust. I moaned out as her fingers trailed over my head, through my hair, feeling her shift slightly below me. I damned myself to hell for wearing probably the tightest pants I own.
“I know you want it too,” she whispered, her lips brushing against my own as she talked, her fingers tracing over the buckle of my belt.
“No… Sazzy, please… don’t.”
She leaned her head up slightly, her lips caressing my own delicately. She let her head drop quickly, a hand on my cheek.
“Your principles… abstinence,” I mumbled, trying not to get too worked up with what she was doing to me. Her hands were everywhere; she was driving me crazy. It didn’t help that she was wearing the most amazing dress ever, either.
“I said that I would with someone I love.”
That was all it took for me to loose my mind, and myself.

“…Frank?”
I looked down at my chest to see her, smiling slightly up at me.
“Are you alright?” she asked, a sudden worried expression on her face. Her hair was wild and messy, the layers sticking out slightly in odd angles. She was… beautiful.
“I’m great,” I replied, grinning at her, then remembering that she probably felt a little… crappy, I asked, “how are you feeling?”
“A little… sore. But I’m fine,” she said, frowning a little, shifting slightly in my arms. I kissed her on the forehead, resting my head in the crook of her bare neck.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, placing butterfly kisses on her neck.
“Shut up,” she said, the smile reflected in her voice. I grinned against her skin, letting my eyes shut as she mindlessly played with the ends of my hair. I missed that so much.

Mom smiled at us as we walked through the kitchen door, our hands laced together.
“Toast?” she asked, pointing at the rack of toast she’d made. I sat down at the table; pulling two into my plate as Sazzy poured us coffee, then having two slices herself.
“Where’s Dad?” I said, buttering Sazzy’s slices for her.
“He’s just popped out for a bit. Cigarettes,” she said, sipping on her coffee.
“Okay, kids, I wanted to ask… Sazzy, do you want to study in New Jersey? Perhaps go to Rutgers, too?”
“Umm… I was kind of thinking of a gap year, but I wouldn’t… mind,” she said, shrugging. Mom nodded, thinking.
“Well…” she started, putting down her mug, “you could apply for a green card. I mean, it’ll be good for you to take a gap year, so you could get settled and all.”
“Mom, wouldn’t it be easier if she just went and then… stayed for however long she wanted? I mean… College… that’ll be a little bit of a problem, but-”
“Oh, Frank, I think your right. And if starting College, then go for a Student Visa?” Mom said, trying to clarify the situation. I finished buttering toast for Sazzy, laying the knife on my plate.
“…Yeah. But could she apply while she’s over there?”
“I don’t see how it’s going to be a problem. It should work fine.”
I nodded, smiling confidently. All we needed was the tickets and for Sazzy to pack.
“I am so lost…” she mumbled, pouting a little. I chuckled, kissing her forehead.
“It’s alright. We don’t need to get you any visas or anything, because you wanted to take a gap year. Unless you don’t want to anymore…?” I asked my hand placed on the back of her head. She nodded, smiling.
“A gap year is good with me.”
“So it’s settled?” Mom asked her eyes bright and wide. We nodded.
“I smell food!”
“You would!” Mom called to Dad, who’d just walked in the front door. We heard him chuckle, then walk his way into the kitchen, joining us for breakfast.
The lyrics to the song ran through my head.
…Home?