Battling the Loss You Live For.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked, starting the car. I had to borrow the one Mom rented – we weren’t walking in the rain.
“Yes. I have to do this… I haven’t seen her in two years… and I-”
“Okay. It’s alright.”
We got there in three minutes.
“Fucking hell, this place…” I mumbled, shaking my head.
“Yeah… I know. It brings back memories, though,” she said, smiling softly at me. I smiled back, stroking her cheek.
“Thanks for coming with me.”
“Like I was going to let you come on your own,” I said, kissing her lips. She smiled, kissing me back, her hand on the back of my neck.
“Ready?” I mumbled against her lips, pecking them.
“Yeah,” she pulled away, her hand trailing off me, “let’s go.”

“W-what are you doing here?!” she asked, shocked, when she saw us standing on her doorstep.
“I’ve come to say… goodbye, Mum.”
My stomach churned, twisting with… not nerves, but possibly anger. It was this… person, who’d put Sazzy through shit, made her regret everything we’d done, forced her down a path of depression. But I had this weird lenience for her. I don’t really know why, but I guess it was for Sazzy. That she’d brought her up and stuff.
We were suddenly sat on the same couch as we were the last time we were here… which was fan-fucking-tastic.
“Goodbye?” she asked, eyeing us suspiciously. She was opposite to us, like before… literally Déjà vu.
“Yes. I’m leaving,” Sazzy said, her eyes burning into her mothers’.
Neither of them are going to break it, I thought, We’ll be here forever.
“Why?” Shy asked her brow furrowed in annoyance and confusion.
“Why do you care? You haven’t spoken to me for two years. I thought I’d be the decent one and say goodbye, because frankly, you wouldn’t notice I was gone,” Sazzy spat, her eyes hard and fierce. Shy glared.
“You think I don’t care?!”
“Think?! I know you don’t!”
“Whoa. Guys… I think you two should calm down, yo-”
“Frank,” Sazzy said, in a warning tone. I turned to her, seeing her still facing her mother in a burning glare.
“What do you want me to do, huh?! It’s not like you are my-” Shy stopped, her gaze breaking away from Sazzy’s, to the floor.
“What? It’s not like I was your what?! Your favourite daughter, the perfect Sarah you wanted your child to be?! The name you wanted for Shine, Shan, and Zahra!” she ticked off the names on her fingers, shouting at the woman sat opposite her. It was like everything seemed clearer to me. I just couldn’t believe it.
Everything around me stopped, Sazzy’s screams blanked out, like someone had pressed the ‘mute’ button on everything.
“You never liked the way I am, nev-”
“Sazzy… Sit down. Now.”
My voice was loud yet calm, projecting over her yells. She looked at me from where she stood, our eyes locked for a brief moment. The tone of her eyes changed from the fiery anger to a stricken, almost scared tone. I looked over at Shy, who in turn held my gaze, her eyes almost pleading with me. I shook my head slowly.
“I always thought…” I whispered, Shy’s watery, upset eyes never leaving mine.
“Please.”
“She has to know. Now of all times,” I reasoned. She didn’t say anything.
“…Frank? What-what’s going on?” Sazzy whispered, her voice strained and scared as she sat herself down next to me, her hand on my arm. I faced her, not saying a word. What do I say? The truth, which Shy didn’t want me to confess? Or lie? I can’t lie to her. How could I?
I opened my mouth, about to speak, when Shy let out a gasp, then a small sob.
“No, Frank, please!” she cried, her tears now spilt over the rims of her brown, unfamiliar eyes.
“You’ve lied to her for almost nineteen years. She deserves to know now,” I said, fierce. I always had a feeling, deep down, that things weren’t right.
“Frank… please, tell me what’s going on!” Sazzy cried, getting worked up. I placed a hand on her shoulder, glancing over at the woman listening intently with watery eyes opposite us, then turning back to Sazzy.
“You’re not her daughter. You’re adopted.”