Battling the Loss You Live For.

I got her out of there as soon as I could, which was about five minutes later. She was sobbing and crying into me as I helped her out the door into the spitting rain, round the back to the car park and in the car, clinging to me all the time. I opened the passenger door with one hand, the other pressing her to me, and tried helping her into the car.
“No, Frank. Please. Stay with me,” she uttered, still gripping on to me with all her might. I sighed, sitting in the seat myself, making her fall into my lap, and I leant over, shutting the door. She looked at me with the most meaningful gaze I have ever seen her look at me before. Her eyes were full of doubt, regret, sorrow, and more heart-wrenching emotions, but I couldn’t move away from them. They were captivating, luring.
“She lied to me.”
“I know,” I murmured, stroking her hair gently, seeing her eyes droop shut.
“I’m so tired,” she whispered, and I pulled her down to me, grazing my lips against hers.
“It’s okay. It’ll get better, I promise,” I whispered, my forehead resting against hers. The tears were still spilling, and I wiped them away slowly.
“Please stop crying,” I mumbled my brow creasing. She sighed, pulling away from me and dabbing under her eyes.

“Kids? How’d it g-” Mom stopped short when she caught sight of us as we walked into the living room, Sazzy quivering by my side as I held an arm around her, her eyes wet and empty.
“Dear god, what happened, love?” Mom asked, placing an arm on Sazzy’s shoulder. She burst into more tears, and I honestly didn’t know what to do. I felt drained, emotional and just out of it. Everything felt like a blur.
Mom led Sazzy away from me, and on the sofa, sitting next to her and handing her a tissue from the box on the coffee table. I stood in the doorway.
“I take it she didn’t take the news well…?” Mom asked rubbing Sazzy’s back soothingly. When nothing intelligible came from her lips, Mom looked at me for some explanation, but then her expression fell, her features dropping.
“Are you feeling alright, Frank?”
“…Yeah,” I replied, shrugging a little.
“You look… down. What happened there?” she asked, her brown furrowed and her eyes deep, questioning.
“Sazzy…” I hesitated, looking over at Sazzy. She looked up at me, her eyes glassed with tears and full of emotions.
“She’s adopted.”

“Frank… Do you still love me?” Sazzy asked into my neck, sniffing. I was shocked, confused. I pulled her head up, facing me.
“Of course I still love you. Why would you think differently?” I said, almost angry. Why would she suddenly think I don’t love her anymore? I love her more than anything; I’ve made that known to her, haven’t I?
“I don’t know who I am… and now neither do you,” she explained, her eyes welling slightly again.
“Sazzy… I know who you are. You’re the girl I fell in love with, Sazzy Massacre. You always were. You were never Sarah Rahman, and never will be, babe,” I whispered to her, stroking her hair softly, touching under her eyes to rid her of the tears.
“I love you, Frank. So much,” she mumbled, retreating back to my neck. I smiled, kissing her head, “I love you too. We’ll be alright babe, you’ll be alright.”
She didn’t say anything, but kissed my neck.
“You’ll rise above it all. You always do.”