Battling the Loss You Live For.

“Mikey!” I called to a tall, thin figure. He was fucking lanky.
“Bloody hell, he’s… tall,” Sazzy commented in a whisper from beside me, speaking my thoughts. I laughed quietly.
“Yeah… I forgot how tall he was. I haven’t seen him since… well, ages,” I said, shrugging.
“Frank!” Mikey called back, grinning as he turned his head to face us. He was standing by a booth in the averaged-sized diner, two people already sat in there.
“Hey, man, it’s been ages. How are you?” I asked, as we approached him.
Mikey was a tall, skinny kid who had mousey brown hair which he admitted to straightening. His eyes were a deep, dark brown, a thin line of eyeliner surrounding them. He wore glasses, usually on the end of his nose, forcing him to look up to see properly. He was a weird, but funny guy. He was 19, just one year older than me and Sazzy.
“I've been good, how about you?” Mikey asked, with that grin still spread over his face. I nodded. “Great.”
“You must be Sazzy, right?” Mikey asked, holding out his hand to her. She nodded, a small, almost intimidating smile gracing her lips.
“Nice to finally meet you,” Mikey said, shaking her hand briefly. “Hey, this is Ray Toro, Frank, you’ve met him before, I think…? And this is my brother Gerard,” he said, gesturing to the two guys sat in the booth. They smiled up at us, and we exchanged hellos.
“Hey, you’re in that punk band, right? Pencey Prep?” Gerard asked, looking up at us with glazed, golden hazel eyes. I nodded, unable to hide the grin stretching across my face.
“You’re fucking good,” he added, before he inhaled on his cigarette. I was buzzed; I get excited in the few times that people tell me that.
“Thanks, dude.”

Gerard wasn’t quite as tall-looking as his brother, but he was probably around the same height. I guess Mikey just looked taller because he was so thin. Gerard had bright, honey coloured eyes opposed to the dark brown of Mikey’s, with ebony black hair that fell messily to his shoulders, layers and bangs cut into it. His complexion was pale, making him look like he was confined indoors for most of his time. The black of his hair probably made him look paler than he was, looking almost gaunt. His eyes seemed to bear red circles, and it made me think if he tried to hide it with the eyeliner surrounding them.

“Hey, do you guys wanna join us…?” Toro asked, gesturing to the seats opposite them, I shrugged, looking at Sazzy, who didn’t seem to mind.
“As long as I get those onion rings,” she mumbled, and I fought back my laugh. She had some ridiculous pregnancy cravings – she’d go from drinking syrup out of a bottle to dry cornflakes to this shitty diner’s onion rings.

We both slid into the booth opposite the guys, just as the waitress came to take orders. I ordered a large portion of onion rings and a coke for Sazzy, along with some toast and a mountain dew for myself. Ray ordered a serving of pancakes – it was about 12:00PM – and a coffee, Gerard asking for a coffee and toast. Mikey asked for waffles and orange juice.
“Onion rings?” Ray asked Sazzy, a confused look on his face.
“Cravings,” she said, shrugging slightly.
“Oh, like PMS?” he asked, a little wary.
“No… like pregnancy,” she stated, smiling in an amused way.
“What? You’re pregnant?” Ray asked, dumbstruck. Gerard and Mikey didn’t seem phased.
“Yeah… can’t you tell? I’m quite… big,” she said, her eyes flicking to her baby bump. She was big. She’d started wearing maternity pants.
“Well… I dunno. I didn’t really notice, I guess,” he said, shaking off the slight shock.
“How far along are you?” Gerard asked, stubbing out his cigarette.
“Just over sixteen weeks,” she said, a small smile stretching her lips. He nodded, a look of amazement plastered on his face.
“When do you find out the gender?” Mikey said, leaning back in his seat.
“In two weeks, hopefully,” she said, with an excited look on her face.
“You’re really big to be only sixteen weeks gone,” Gerard commented, his forehead creased in slight confusion.
“We’re having twins,” I replied, unable to keep the smile off my face.
“Oh! That’s so cool, you guys, congratulations,” he said, grinning himself.
“Onion rings…?” the waitress said, picking up the plate off her round tray.
“Mine!”

“That was cool, running into them,” I said, my eyes flicking to Sazzy then to the road and back. She nodded, sighing a little.
“They’re really nice people,” she replied, a hand on her bump.
“What’s wrong? Do you need anything?” I asked, as she fidgeted in her seat.
“I… don’t, know. Stop the car,” she said, clicking her seatbelt off. I slowed the car, parking on the curb of a rural road.
“What is it?” I asked, slightly panicked. She didn’t say anything, instead grabbing my hand and placing it on her abdomen, pressing it there.
“What… is-” I stopped, amazed on what I felt. It wasn’t… kicking, as such, but more like… moving, squirming.
“Oh… my God,” I mumbled, looking up at Sazzy. Her face was screwed up, her eyebrows furrowed and her mouth contorted into a frown.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, placing my free hand on her cheek.
“It feels… weird. It hurts, but not… a lot. I can’t explain,” she said, rubbing the back of my hand that was placed on her stomach with a thumb. I felt the movement again, unable to hide my smile.
“This is so great,” I mumbled, and she nodded, her lips turning up into a smile.
“Yeah.”