Battling the Loss You Live For.

Mikey’s Point of View
Sazzy was fricken’ huge now.
I mean, she was quite big and all before, when I last saw her, but I didn’t think she’d get any bigger. Man, was I wrong. But she did say that she wouldn’t be getting any bigger, or she’d explode, and that pregnant chicks weren’t meant to be this big – it’s because she’s carrying twins.
Her due date was getting really close, the twelfth of March. That was only eight weeks away. She was eight months pregnant today, thirty weeks gone. It was so scary; it was all happening so fast.
Mom was pretty scared about it all. I mean, I don’t blame her. She just pretty much found out that her daughter was here, and that Sazzy was proper family, and then to suddenly be a grandparent?

Dad had come back for Scotland, and had pretty much taken everything in his stride. He was a very calm, cool, and collected type of guy. I looked up to him a lot because of that – he never focused on the little details, and just kind of went along with stuff. He never asked for a reason for things, he’d just accept it, and trust his family and friends on what they said and on their opinions.

Frank and Sazzy had finally figured out the full names for the kids, and pretty much just in time, too, really. They were going to be called Dymian Frank Iero and Marilyn Adalia Iero.
They chose Frank for Dymian because Sazzy kind of wanted to keep in the name Frank into Frank’s family line. So did Frank, naturally, but he wasn’t exactly going to mind if they didn’t. Because Frank is a junior (but should be the third), they felt it kinda should be kept, at least for a middle name.
Adalia was chosen because Frank has been digging on the name for ages. He said that he’s been turning over a few names in his head, like Adrianne and Elizabeth, but Adalia stuck out. He discarded Adrianne because he didn’t want to use Billie Joe Armstrong’s wife’s name, and Elizabeth sounded too old, and just didn’t fit as well as Adalia. It means ‘noble one’ and Frank means ‘honest and free’ as well as ‘javelin’, not that the meaning of Frank actually really counts…

“Mikey!” Gerard called, from downstairs. I was in my room reading comics; I had nothing better to do yet.
“What?” I called, tossing the book on my dresser, and turning down the CD player.
“Get down here for a sec,” he called, and I grumbled, turning off my stereo, and pulling on a grey hoodie before traipsing downstairs.
“What?” I said, reaching the end of the staircase.
“Wanna get some Dunkin’ Donuts?” he asked from the doorway. He was stood in the frame of the front door, smoking with the door open. He wasn’t standing outside because it was so cold out, and frost laced the pavements.
“…What’s wrong with you?” I asked, grabbing my jacket that was slung across the banister.
“Shut up, I’m just thinking,” he said, sighing a little, and turning his gaze to the white stick in his fingers.
“About what?” I replied, slipping on my Vans, pulling my gloves on at the same time. He shook his head.
“Nothing, it doesn’t matter. Shall we pick up Grandma Elena on the way?” he said, smiling weakly up at me. I shrugged, nodding.
“Now I know something’s up, you only ever tell her what you’re thinking.”
“…I just… I dunno if I’m happy working with Cartoon Network, anymore. That’s all,” he confessed, dragging on his cigarette.
“Why? I thought you wanted to draw,” I said, walking out the door as he stepped after me, closing it behind him.
“Yeah… I know. But, it just doesn’t seem like I’m doing anything worth while, you know? I mean… I love drawing, and working for them and stuff, but it just feels like… is this it? You know?”
I nodded, thinking. I think I knew what he meant. I guess he felt like he was in a dead-end job, and that’s not what he’s wanted.
“And what brought all this on?” I asked, following him to his silver Subaru XT.
“The Breakfast Monkey… I pitched it and it got rejected. It’s apparently too much like Aqua Teen Hunger Force.”
“Dude! Why didn’t you tell me?” I said, really shocked. We tell each other practically everything!
“I just did, dumbass,” he said, rolling his eyes as he started the car, “put your seatbelt on.”
“But when did you find out?” I said, clicking my seatbelt in place and turning down the volume of the Black Flag song blaring from the stereo.
“This morning, at work… that’s the depressing thing. I work for the Cartoon Network, you know, and they fucking know me, and they still turned it down. It’s just… it’s literally a dog-eat-dog world. I mean, I knew it was going to be hard, but…” he trailed off, shaking his head, “but whatever. Let’s just… pick up Grandma Elena.”