Battling the Loss You Live For.

Third Person Narrative.
The rest of the journey to Grandma Elena’s was a quiet one, the only sound being of that from the Black Flag cassette playing in the tape player.
Gerard was lost in thought, the same questions of doubt, uncertainty and slight swirling around in his mind.
Am I wasting my life away?
What else can I do?
…Is there anything else I can do?
Mikey was also lost in thought, but no questions of doubt were running through his head. Concern for his brother was all that he thought of, and any strategies he could think of to try and help.
But then, he remembered when he was seven years old, and when Gerard was nine. When Gerard got up, in the middle of a stage, and outfit that was made by Grandma Elena that consisted of green tights and t-shirt, and sang as Peter Pan in the fourth grade.
…Sing?

“So that’s it, and I just… dunno what to do anymore, Grandma,” Gerard explained to Elena Lee Rush the whole of his story, and his current doubt of his career choice.
Elena was a woman of age, but didn’t particularly look it. She had dark hair that her daughter, Donna, had obliviously inherited, that fell just below her shoulders, with no grey streaks in sight due to the dye she used every six weeks. She was small, and just came up to about five foot and six inches tall. Her eyes were a deep brown, very much like Donna’s and her grandchild, Mikey, and she often wore light clothing, such as skirts, dresses and blouses along with fur coats.
“Gerard, I’ve told you before. You should just follow what your heart says, and what you truly want,” Elena explained to him in a hushed tone, making her grandchild sigh, running a sickly white hand through his dyed raven-black hair, his eyes still fixated on the road ahead.
“But that’s the thing, I don’t know-”
“Gerard Arthur Way, don’t you dare talk that bullshit with me.”
Mikey, sitting in the backseat, looked up from his cell phone, at the conversation in front of him. He was suddenly intrigued at what Elena had to say.
“I know exactly what you want, and you know exactly what you want. So don’t lie to me,” Grandma Elena finished, pulling invisible fluff from her suede gloves.
“Now… you best drive quicker, sugar, your grandfather will be expecting me home soon.”

“What the hell did she mean?” Mikey asked his older sibling, turning to him as Gerard started up the car.
“…What?” Gerard asked dumbly, glancing at his brother who wore a shocked expression on his face.
“Don’t lie, you bitch,” he said, shaking his head, forcing his mousey-brown hair to swish over his face.
“Mikey, can you please just shut the fuck up? I love you and all that, but sometimes…” Gerard groaned, pulling out onto the road.
“Let’s just go to Frank and Sazzy’s place.”

When Gerard and Mikey walked through the front door to the bungalow located in Irvington, New Jersey, Frank immediately knew something was wrong.
“My-key!” Sophii cried, bounding up to her boyfriend, circling her arms around his neck in a hug, pushing her lips against his.
“Hey,” Mikey said, after he pulled himself away from her, grinning. Sophii grinned back at him, his smile infectious, as she buried her head in the crook of his neck.
Frank pulled Gerard to the kitchen, pushing the window open as he lit up a cigarette, taking a drag and passing it to Gerard as he sat up on the counter.
“So what went down?” Frank asked, eyeing Gerard tentatively, worried.
“Man… I just dunno if I’m doing the right thing, career wise. That’s all,” Gerard sighed, feeling slightly frustrated that his parents, brother, grandma and now his best friend had asked him the same thing in the duration of the day. And it was only 2:00pm.
“What do you mean?” Frank asked, pulling his legs up and resting his chin on his knees from where he sat on the counter.
“Well, it just feels like I’m not doing anything. Anything worthwhile, anyway…” Gerard explained, puffing on the Marlboro Red cigarette. Frank didn’t say anything, instead ruffled his messy black hair, feeling slightly awkward, stuck for what to say.
“…Dude, did you just get laid?” Gerard asked, as his eyebrows furrowed in question. He noticed the rumpled look Frank held, the slight sparkle in his eyes, his hair sticking to his head slightly. Frank held back his laugh, again not saying anything.
“Dude, that’s my fucking sister!” Gee cried, pushing Frank’s shoulder playfully, as Frank giggled.
“In case you haven’t noticed, I kind of knocked her up. Y’know, with twins…?” Frank said, his hazel eyes sparkling with mischief.
“I didn’t know she was my kid sister, then!”
Frank laughed, taking the cigarette away from Gerard’s fingers.

“Sazzy, you speak French?” Ray asked, slightly shocked as he pulled out the blue French dictionary from the bookshelf, “and Spanish?!”
She nodded, her long, dark hair falling around her face as she pushed it away, only her fringe hanging over her right eye.
“Yeah… I’m a little scratchy on them, though, I haven’t spoken French or Spanish since college, really,” she explained, a smile gracing her lips.
“I didn’t know you speak Spanish! I speak Spanish! Ah, man, now we can bitch about these guys and they won’t know!” Ray said excitedly, forcing Nyona to slap him around the head.
“No bitching! You’re a guy!”
“Nyona-!”
“I said no!” she said, an evil smile on her face, her eyes excited, like a child’s would be.
“Ray got owned by a chick…!” Mikey cried, nodding in amusement.
“Michael!” Sophii said harshly, in a joking manner.
“…You guys have been watching too much of ‘That 70s Show,” Gerard said, in a disapproving tone.
“Now you sound like Hyde!” Frank said, laughing.
“But… oh, shut up.”
“And can you blame us? It’s an epic show!” Nyona confessed, as Ray and Sazzy nodded in agreement.
“And Ashton Kutcher is yummy,” Sazzy said, making Sophii and Nyona hum in unison. Frank turned to her, his arm wrapped around her shoulders, a pout forming on his lips.
“But I’m sexier… right?”
“Aw, Frankie, you’re a thousand times sexier!” she exclaimed, pecking him on the lips as he grinned at her.
“Hey, Gee, what you doing…?” Nyona asked, looking over at Gerard who was sat on the armchair, a pad of paper resting on crossed legs as he guided a pencil over it, drawing animatedly.
“Drawing…”
“What are you drawing?” Frank asked, everyone’s attention directed at Gerard.
“Stuff,” he stated, looking up, to find everyone looking at him. “…What?”
Ray shrugged, diverting his attention back to the bookcase.