Battling the Loss You Live For.

It’s been two months since then, and it was the day before Sazzy’s birthday.
Gee had kind of felt like shit ever since those terrorist attacks, but tried to forget. He was the kind of person that couldn’t understand why anyone would ever want to hurt others, and whenever stuff like this happened, he would always think about the people that were greatly affected, like the people who had lost family, close friends. It brought him down a lot.

Sazzy was turning 20. It was kinda freaky, actually, because I knew that in exactly a week and one day – eight days - I was going to be 20.
I literally had no idea what to get Sazzy this year. I mean, last year, I gave her a promise ring. How the fuck was I meant to top that this year?! I hated my last-year-self for that. I did not think ahead.
So I got her this necklace. I knew she’d like it because I saw her looking at it in the shop window this one time we were out, and I could tell she was in love with it. It was this sterling silver locket with no detail on it at all, but it could be engraved, so I got her name on the front. It could open out into four pieces, so that you could put four different pictures inside it. It was pretty damn gorgeous, and it was so her.
Gerard and Mikey had got her this huge set of CD’s, DVD’s and band t-shirts. She would never run out of stuff to watch, listen to, or wear ever again, I swear. And it was really good stuff like Black Flag, Sex Pistols, Misfits and Smashing Pumpkins CD’s and shirts and DVD’s like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Dawn Of The Dead and other stuff like Toy Story and family/comedy stuff like that.
I had no idea what anyone else got her.
Anyways, the guys were planning this huge ‘surprise party’ for both me and her, on the 27th, because it was the ‘in between’ day along with the 28th.

“Frankie, where is the party? Have they sorted it yet?” Sazzy asked, slumping on the sofa next to me, passing me a bottle of coke.
“Uh… no, I don’t think so. Are the kids asleep?” I replied, sipping on the coke. She nodded, nestling into my side as I wrapped my arm around her.
“Yeah, they’re fine. Dymian is much better now, I think.”
Dymian had a stomach bug that was really bothering him, he’d cry a lot because it was painful. Sazzy said that she’d seen it before with other kids and that it was colic. I had no idea what that was – she said that it was stomach pains and stitches related to indigestion. So basically, he was quite… irritable.

I woke up, to banging, loud and hurried. I glanced at the clock, seeing that it was 4:23am. Who the fuck was here at this time?!
“I’m going to break this door down, Frankie.”
I literally thought I was having a heart attack.
“Sazzy! Wake up!” I whispered, shaking her awake.
“Frank! What the hell?” Sazzy whispered back, but then she saw my face, hearing the banging on the door.
“Frank… who-”
“Listen to me. Go into the kid’s room, lock the door, and don’t turn on the main light. Make sure they’re okay, alright? And… whatever happens, don’t open the door. Okay?”
“B-but, Frank… What are you-?”
I pressed my lips against hers hurriedly, pulling away after a few seconds, rolling out of the bed and pulling on a shirt off the floor as well as a pair of jeans, Sazzy running quietly into the kid’s room. Thank god that room was practically sound proof.
I ran to the front door, taking a deep breath, and swinging it open. He staggered slightly, his eyes red and puffy.
“Oh, I’ve missed you, Frankie.”