Battling the Loss You Live For.

“Hey,” Frank whispered, his eyes opening.
“Mm?” I hummed, moving the cotton wool away from his lip.
I had cleaned up Gerard’s cuts quickly, as he was pretty much falling asleep. As soon as I was done, they left to go back to their place, Frank thanking them both for helping out.
“Thanks for ringing Gerard and Mikey. I don’t know if I could have ever… held him off on my own,” he whispered, touching my cheek.
“Babe… I had to ring them,” I said, smiling at how cute he was. He was so amazing; I can’t believe how lucky I am to have a boyfriend as perfect as him.
He nodded, pecking me softly on the lips.
“I just… he started to get to the kid’s room… and I was freaking out. I thought he was gonna bang it down, and then Gee came-”
“It’s okay, babe, we don’t have to talk about this now.”
“I know, but I just… I’m sorry, that I kind of-”
“It’s alright. I knew what you were trying to do,” I said, starting to dab the alcohol on his lip again.
“You do?”
“Yeah… you wanted to make sure that he doesn’t see me or the kids,” I said, and he placed a finger under my chin, forcing me to look in his eyes.
“You’re incredible.”
“Not more than you.”
He looked down, holding my hand.
“I know that… this probably isn’t the most perfect of times, but…” he said, leaning over behind him and ruffling around in the draw of the end table, pulling something out, making sure I couldn’t see.
“Happy Birthday,” he held out a long, rectangular box, wrapped in silver paper. I totally forgot that it was my birthday now!
I ripped off the wrapping paper, finding a navy blue velvet box. Jewellery…? I opened it up, seeing a long, silver chain, threaded through a locket, my name engraved on the front of the silver oval.
“Oh my god, Frank! Is it the locket?” I said, opening it up, and seeing that it could open into four.
“It is!” I looked up at him, seeing him smiling. Even though he had a busted lip and a black eye, he looked so happy. I threw my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

We didn’t even bother going back to sleep. We would’ve been woken up by Dymian and Marilyn at around 8:30am anyways, though they woke up half an hour later, at 9:00am on the dot. I guess because they got woken up in the middle of the night.
Frank was knackered. His right arm and shoulder was aching still, because of the pain, so he took some aspirin for it. I actually gave him my really strong paracetamol pills that I take for my migraines, so he couldn’t feel much pain at all and almost out of it.
“Frank, could you come…” I looked over at the sofa, seeing him collapsed on it, asleep. I couldn’t wake him up, he’d done so much for us, and he’s so drained from all the fighting. I picked up both Dymian and Marilyn, balancing them both on my hips, and walked into the kitchen, putting them both in their highchairs.
“Daddy’s sleeping, okay, Marilyn, Dymian? So we have to be really quiet,” I said to them, as they watched me get their food ready.
We make sure that we talked to them about anything and everything now, because we really want them to say their first words.
“Hey,” Nyona said, walking in with a grin. I ushered her in, and she came in, kissing the kids hello.
“Hey, Frank’s sleeping on the sofa, so don’t wake him, okay?” I explained, as she pushed two slices of bread into the toaster.
“What a lazy fucker! Isn’t he meant to be up-”
“Shh! No, because a lot of shit went down at like four am and he’s properly drained from it all,” I started, as she gave me a funny look.
“What? What happened?” she asked, eyes narrowed in confusion.
“Kevin came.”
“No fucking way!” she cried under her breath, and I lightly slapped her around the head, motioning to the babies in their highchairs.
“Stop swearing! But yeah, he came; they pretty much beat each other up in the hallway.”
“No shit! Fuck, what did you do?”
“Well, Frank woke up to banging and then he knew it was him because he could hear his voice, so he woke me up-”
“…At four in the morning?”
“Yeah… And then he told me to get into the kid’s room and lock the door, and I did. But then I called Gee and he and Mikes came, like ten minutes later…” I said, passing Nyona a bowl of baby food.
“Feed Dymian for me… And basically, Mikey climbed through the window into the kids’ room, Gee went and helped Frank and the next thing I knew the police had shown up and dragged off that fuc- that idiot. Frank was battered; he had a dislocated shoulder, got a black eye and busted lip. And he’s got bruises all over his arms and stuff, his nose was bleeding like crazy…”
“Damn…” Nyona said, putting the baby food on the table while she buttered her toast, “I can’t believe it!”
“Me neither, to be honest… It’s all so surreal,” I said, spooning a mouthful of mashed up food into Marilyn’s mouth, then Dymian’s as he had finished his mouthful.
“Hey, Sazzy!” Ray called, as he walked in, closing the front door behind him.
“Is it raining outside?” I said, seeing that he was pretty much drenched.
“Yeah… hey, are you alright? I heard about what happened last night,” he said, hugging me.
“Yeah, I’m fine, thanks. But we have to be quiet, I’ve left Frank asleep on the sofa,” I replied, as he pulled away, waving at Dymian and Marilyn.
“Oh… fucking hell,” Ray mumbled, hugging Nyona hello.
“How is he?”
“Literally beaten up… if you hug him, he’d be in pain,” I said, sighing as Ray sat down in the chair in front of Dymian, taking Nyona’s place and feeding him while she ate her toast.
“Wow. Gee is alright, though,” he said, shrugging.
“Yeah… he came in and pretty much broke it up, though he has a black eye, too.”
Gerard walked in through the front door, still looking like shit.
“Hey, sis,” he said, grinning and kissing Dymian and Marilyn on the heads, making Marilyn gurgle in delight and Dymian hold his hands out.
“Gee!”
Everyone stopped what they were doing, our heads snapping to Dymian.
“Dymian… what did you say?” I said, stroking back his hair.
“Gee!” he replied, as he opened and closed his fists at Gerard, asking to be lifted.
“…Oh my god!” Gerard cried, lifting up Dymian and hugging him to his chest.
“Yeah, Dymi, that’s my name! I’m your uncle Gee!”
“Gerard, don’t swing him around like that, he’s gonna throw up!” Nyona cried, making Gerard stop immediately.
“Uhh… has he finished eating?” he asked, looking over at the bowl.
“Yeah, just burp him,” Ray said, tossing the plastic bowl and spoon into the sink, wiping down the highchair with a baby wipe. We kept a pack on the table.
“How the hell did he eat all that so fast…?” I said, looking down into Marilyn’s bowl. She had about a good five spoonfuls left.
“You take ages to feed them!” Ray said, and I gave him a glare.
“Are you saying that you lot have been stuffing food into his mouth? How the hell are they meant chew?!”
“Trust me, they chew! Look, let me finish feeding Marilyn.”
I passed the bowl to Ray, standing up and letting him take my place.
“Sazzy, where’s Frank? Is he alright now?” Gee asked, still cuddling Dymi to him.
“Yeah… he’s sleeping in the living room,” I said, nodding, “actually, I’m gonna go and get him to move into the bedroom, this place is too small.”
I walked into the living room, Frank still on the sofa, his sleep blatantly restless. His forehead was creased, his head occasionally turning from side to side, and his lips letting out unintelligible mutters under his breath. I knelt beside him, taking his hand in mine.
“Frankie? Frank, wake up,” I whispered, smoothing back his fringe off his face. His lips moved again, but didn’t form any words.
“Frank,” I said, shaking his shoulder slightly. His eyes cracked open, bloodshot and scared.
“…Are you alright?” I whispered, as he looked around himself, sitting up slightly.
“I… Yeah… where are the kids?” he croaked, his voice coarse.
“In the kitchen… do you wanna go and sleep in bed?” I said, as he sat up properly, rubbing his good eye.
“Uh… no, I’m okay. A little hungry, actually… have you eaten?” he said, surveying the rather large bruise on his hand, which was in between his thumb and forefinger.
“…How the hell did that happen?” I said, gesturing to the bruise. It was in such an awkward place!
“Um… I think he stamped on my hand or something. Can I smell toast?”
“He stamped on your hand?!”
“Yeah… Who’s eating toast?”
“Nyona is. How the hell did he do that?”
“I was on the floor. So was his foot. Is there any bread left?”
“Yeah, plenty,” I said, sighing.
“Oh! Dymian said his first word!” I cried, suddenly remembering.
“Are you joking?!” he said, his eyes widening, “What was it?”
“Gee!” I said, giggling slightly. Frank smiled, ecstatic.
“That is so awesome!” he said, getting up and leading me into the kitchen.
“Hey, Frank, you okay?” Ray said, smiling sympathetically at him. He nodded.
“Whoa, fuckin’ hell, Sazzy underestimated that thing that’s taken over your eye,” Nyona cried, her eyes bulging at the red and slightly purple marks around Frank’s right eye.
“It’s my war wound, shut up,” he said, grinning.
“Dada!”
There was silence, eyes locked on Marilyn this time.
“…This is so fucking amazing,” Gerard mumbled, as Frank grinned like crazy, lifting Marilyn from her highchair.
“Oh, baby, Dada loves you.”