Moving On

I’m not good at many things, and I know that. Am I good at writing, no, I don’t think so. Am I good at talking, no, I don’t think so either. But I know I’m good at caring about someone with all my heart. I do it often and many times I get rejected by myself.

I’m a good friend, because I listen not because I want to be, not because I learnt how to be. But I’m not good at many things.

How I wish I was good enough, but I know I’m not. He deserves better I know it, and everyone else will realize it, I hope it will not be too late.

Whenever I’m in a relationship I tend to change the person, and I don’t want that. I don’t want to change him which is why I have not given our relationship a second thought.

After failing the first one, because I wasn’t enough for the man I thought I loved ever since I was a teenager from afar, I don’t want to ruin the relationship that has developed between us. I’m better as the friend as the buddy.

I left and I saw something in his eyes, something I was so afraid to see. I need to change this I need to kill whatever hope he thinks he has with me, he’s talented he’s amazing and I’m just Plain Jane, the girl who doesn’t have a life, because she chose not to have one.

I’m not whole, and unless I can find every part of me, I can’t be with him. So I’m doing it, I’m pushing him away. I can’t let him believe we have a future when I will ruin everything.