Alone This Holiday

The house my parents live in is about ten minutes away; it’s a really nice house that has about three levels including the basement that Dad has a ‘studio’ in. The walls are all the same colour, but the roof of every room is a different colour; purples, greens, blues and reds are the common colours but in different shades. The dark blue walls have our family photo’s lining them, and some awards that my siblings, parents and I have achieved over some years.

My parents split up when I was really young on good terms, they both realised that they only thing they had in common was the amount of hair gel they used every morning. Brent and I were always open to the idea of our parents re-marrying; when Mum did she had my younger step-brother Johnny Gera, but his Dad left soon after he was born. Whereas Dad married Suzy, and they had McKenna who I love to death; she makes you smile and laugh like nobody else.

Anna and I both took separate cars to Dad and Suzy’s house; we couldn’t all fit in the one car anymore. I got there after Anna; I got stuck behind several red lights, whereas Anna managed to sneak through every single one of them. Once I’d pulled up, I got the door open for Scotty and Aedan so they could climb out. We’d learn the hard way that they needed to have the doors child locked one day after Scotty opened the door while we were on a freeway.

They both took some presents in their arms that I’d bought around, but I ended up carrying the bulk of them. Inside I could smell the food that Suzy had been cooking clearly all morning, coming into this house always smelt really good. Even when I was a little kid I always looked forward to Suzy’s cooking, Dad couldn’t cook anything to save himself, and Mum always ‘experimented’ with various foods, so her cooking tastes terrible. We dumped the presents near the tree, than went to the backyard where everyone was.

“Brian, it’s good to see you man,” Johnny Gera said to me, patting me on the back and shaking my hand. We were never really that close, but we were siblings, still so we had that small bond between us.

“You too,” I smiled. It was weird that he and I looked more a like then I did to Brent, yet Brent and I were closer to each other. He went over to his ‘date’ who seemed to be more interested in Brent then Johnny, however Brent was clearly shutting her down and making it clear he and his wife were happy.

The blonde girl turned around, and immediately I felt my heart stop in my chest. She had bright blue eyes, and a body that any girl would kill for and any guy would want to tap. Shamefully I had done that, I’d slept with her, I knew her. She clearly wasn’t expecting to see me either, her eyes showed that, and by the looks of things she was about to cry.

Johnny walked over to her, holding a toddler, a little boy about two years old and a thick head of black hair. She started to say something to Johnny who smiled, nodded and kissed her head before going inside.

“Hey babe,” I turned and saw Anna standing there, a bright smile on her face. She’d calmed down since the morning when he Mum pretty much ambushed her about being pregnant, and he smile was brighter then I’d seen it in a while. She was holding Riley who had a tear stained face, and a bright red face.

“What’s wrong with Riley?” I asked, taking her into my arms and kissing her cheeks.

“She chucked a tantrum cause Johnny’s dates kid took her toy off her,”

“Oh,”

About an hour later we were sitting down to lunch, I still had Riley in my arms, she was enjoying some mashed potato that I’d feed her after I’d taken a mouthful of my own lunch. Occasionally she’d get the giggles and try to take my lunch, which made me in return laugh. Daniel, Connah and Zach were sitting in high chairs, again. One either side of Anna, while Connah was next to my Dad; Scotty, Aedan and McKenna had eaten their food at lightening speed, and were now inside watching a DVD.

“So how do you guys cope with six kids, out of curiosity?” Johnny’s girlfriend, Alice, asked. “I mean, I struggle with Lincoln as it is, I couldn’t imagine five more,”

“I guess we just have a routine that makes it easier. They’re not really fussy kids, so it’s okay,” Anna answered, sipping her water afterwards. Lincoln was sitting on Alice’s lap, staring at me dead in the eyes; his eyes were a chocolate brown colour, like mine and his hair came down to past his shoulders.

“Lincoln is good with routine, I guess. But he’s stubborn as a mule, he refuses to get his hair cut, he thinks its part of his charm or something,” She laughed; Anna smiled and put her sunglasses down over her eyes. I couldn’t help but feel terrible knowing that it was clearly my son sitting right there, yet all I wanted was for him to evaporate and disappear forever.

The conversation, thankfully, drifted away from the subject of kids, pregnancies and children. Those three subjects seemed to haunt me, everywhere I went life was about kids and pregnancies. It’s not as though I’m not happy with my kids, I am, but Lincoln on the other hand? I wanted nothing to do with him.

I took Riley inside after a while she needed to clean up after eating her lunch that seemed to be all over her face. I sat her on the bathroom sink she was balancing well holding onto one of my sleeves for support though. I started to wash it gently off her face, but she’d occasionally shake her head and try to stop me.

“Brian,” Looking up in the bathroom mirror I saw Alice standing there holding Lincoln in her arms, he was resting his head on her shoulder and staring at me lazily. “I know I should have told you, but I thought it was better you didn’t know,”

“Better I didn’t know? Are you kidding me Alice?” I hissed, turning the sink off and drying off Riley’s face. She giggled at the ticklish feeling, then put her arms up for me to take her. I did, and faced Alice, she was clearly trying to figure out what to say. “Look just stay away from my family, okay? I will give you fifty bucks if you leave now,”

“What? Brian I am here with Johnny, he and I are together,”

“How long have you known him? A day or two?”

She sighed, “We’ve been together for long enough for Lincoln to start call him Daddy. Six months maybe?”

“Okay, well, Johnny can be his Dad. I refuse to call him my son,”

“Your son?” I turned to see Anna standing there, a hand over her mouth and a shocked look etched on her face. “You’ve really fucked up now Brian,” She left in her car, ignoring all my calls on her cell phone when I realised she was gone.

I was alone this holiday