Cats Eyes Two : Mendax Strikes Back

“The boy is outside Master Mendax” Cosmo informed his leader nervously, “And that Merlin from the kitchens is with him”

Distracted for a moment by a frantic splash form Billie Joe’s tank, Cosmo turned his attention away from Mendax. Billie had forced himself above water and was struggling furiously against his limited air supply.

“Don’t hurt him” he shouted furiously, “I’ll kill you Cosmo, if you lay one filthy paw on Jakob”
Mendax’s puppet, the cat who had been used to speak for him since he had built the underground headquarters, laughed cruelly.

“Do not pay him any attention” it said woodenly, “He is quite incapable of killing so much as a sneeval”

Cosmo sniggered foolishly. On Caji, Sneevals were decidedly pathetic creatures who had been originally dropped by enemy dogs of Blia to cause famine by eating all of Caji’s resources. It had however, backfires and more often than not, sneevals had the bizarre notion to eat themselves.

“Has that parcel arrived yet?” Mendax enquired, “Since Jakob is not immediate threat, I think I will open it”

The parcel was propped against the dimly lit wall of their surroundings. It was lumpy and badly packaged, with string bound carelessly around it’s uneven surface.

“If I may ask sir” Cosmo said, “What on earth is in it? More bombs?”

“No Cosmo” the puppet replied, “Not bombs. I have discovered a better use for the vast amounts of money we have acquired. I found an interesting website designed for pathetic humans like silly Billie over there”

Cosmo nodded eagerly. He was fascinated by earth technology and had been extremely interested in Caji’s hospitals new security system of buying armed hedgehogs over Earth’s internet.

“Well Cosmo” the puppet Mendax continued, “I investigated this “eBay” thing a week ago and bid for something I believe we shall find useful”

Suddenly, the package wriggled alarmingly. Mendax whistled a horrendously ear-splitting sound and within seconds, every one of his supporters were gathered around him, shivering in fearful anticipation as to why they had been summoned.

“I have decided” the puppet said, “To reveal to you my true form in my next life. This puppet will have no use to me when I go outside and destroy that pesky little nimrod of a boy”
Every cat in the room leant forwards in curiosity as the chair in which the puppet had sat turned slowly to face them. It seemed to take a lifetime, the chair squeaking nastily as it turned in the deathly silence of the headquarters. Eventually, each cat caught a glimpse of their leader and several mouths dropped in shock.

Sitting before them, an evil smirk playing on its lips, was a daisy. Its roots had twisted to form feet, allowing it to sit up straight. Its petals stood on end with menace. But traces of Mendax’s previous existence were evident, thin whiskers poking from its face, the same hard stare visible in the eyes hidden amongst the mass of petals.

“Do not just stand there gawping” it commanded, “Start opening that package and you will see the fabulous purchase I made over this …”eBay”

He looked as ominous as ever, his voice completely out of place on a daisy. But although he appeared relatively harmless, every cat surrounding him leapt into action. They rushed to the package and began to rip with their sharp claws. Within seconds, masses of paper littered the floor, revealing the contents of exactly what Mendax had purchased.

A small, white haired woman clutching an immensely fat dog, sat cross legged on the ground. A dainty crown was perched lopsidedly on her head, her face flushed deep red with anger.

“What, if I may ask” she said shrilly, “Is the meaning of this most disagreeable turn of events?”

The cats turned around sharply, all eyes on Mendax.

“This irritating human” he said triumphantly, “Is the Queen of England”
Several cats sniggered quietly. Earth monarchs and leaders were a source of great amusement on Caji. Cat agents, under the reign of Mendax, were often sent to Buckingham Palace to carry out bizarre tasks. In fact, before his promotion into the team of cats instructed to kidnap Green Day, Cosmo had been responsible for transforming several royal corgis into pink rats. Mendax’s supporters still screamed in delight at Cosmos exaggerated retellings of the Queen’s reaction.

“Good heavens” the Queen exclaimed, clutching her corgi, “If one is not mistaken, and one’s eyes are not deceiving one, that daisy spoke!”

Mendax sighed irritably.

“With Earth in such chaos” he said, addressing the cats, “All sorts of strange people were being sold on eBay. Abut alas…I have yet to find the legendary St Jimmy for sale”

For a brief moment, a dangerous wave of anger flashed across Mendax’s face. His eyes glowed a deep red and the evil workings of a tiny brain contained within the head of a daisy, could be seen plotting and scheming.

“Out” he screamed suddenly, “All of you lowly servants get out of my sight! I wish to speak to only my most trusted agents”
The cats trouped out of the room, leaving only Cosmo, Felix and Oden alone with Mendax and the Queen. His roots wriggled in the chair as he observed his supporters.

“I have had a thought” he said, “As to why no one appears to have any information about Jimmy”

Each of the cats looked at each other. The arrival of the queen had stunned them, but they were as determined as ever to capture St Jimmy. As Mendax had explained to them on many occasions, anyone powerful enough to avoid their capture for so long would be valuable in their bid to dominate the entire galaxy.

“I believe” Mendax said thoughtfully, “That St Jimmy has been under our noses all along”

Oden, Felix and Cosmo stared at each other.

“Master Mendax” Oden croaked in disbelief, “You are not suggesting that the Queen of England is St Jimmy?”

Felix and Cosmo sniggered. Like Mendax, they were well informed of Green Day’s songs and could hardly imagine her majesty puffing on a cigarette or sending letterbombs.

“Do not be a fool Oden” Mendax snarled, “Of course that idiot is not St Jimmy. All she does is sit in a carriage smiling and waving to a load of nimrodic humans”

The Queen’s mouth fell open in horror. Never before had anyone dared be so rude to her. The corgi barked defiantly, it’s teeth bared at the cats before it.

“But Master Mendax” Felix said, “If it isn’t the Queen…then who is it? The fat dog?”

Mendax the daisy’s petals twitched with excitement. He had defied death to uncover what he believed to be ultimate power, and now it was within his reach.

“No Felix” he said, “Not the dog. The source of unstoppable, unimaginable power is walking outside this base. And I believe we have crossed paths before”

Being met with several blank looks, Mendax smiled knowingly.

“The boy” he smirked, “Have none off you imbeciles figured it out yet? The boy; Jakob. He is St Jimmy”

A strangled gaps made the cats, the Queen and the corgi jump as Billie Joe pulled his scaly body over the edge of the tank. His webbed hands slipped over the glass surface, the horns on his head banging uncomfortably against it. His face was filled with fear as he struggled for breath, the gills in his neck straining to return to the watery world he was trapped in.

“Don’t you dare” he shouted, “I won’t let you hurt Jakob. He’s not Jimmy, he’s not anything. Just leave him alone”

He slipped back into wetness, his heart thudding.

“We have a job to be getting on with” Mendax smiled, “Soon the power of St Jimmy will be ours for the taking”