Forbidden to Remember

{Lily’s POV}

The last weeks of my pregnancy went smooth. I had to take it easy but I still did my job. I loved traveling and it was not stressful in anyway. Kellan was at my side the whole time. He was so loving and protective. When I told my mom about his behavior she said that my dad was the same way. I believed it because of the way my dad is when it comes to my mom. He worships her. There isn’t anything in the world that could become between them. I just hoped and prayed that with everything Kellan and I had been through before we were married that now we could have the same loving relationship my parents had.

“Baby?” I heard Kellan say breaking me from my thoughts. I turned to him and smiled. He smiled back. “Do you need anything?” He asked.

“Can you rub my feet they hurt a little bit?” He nodded and I turned so that I could drape my legs over his lap. Sifted down into my seat and closed my eyes. As he rubbed the babies kick and moved. I rubbed my tummy gently.

“Are you okay?” He asked. I opened my eyes and nodded. I winced a little when I felt a contraction start. I was thanking god we were home and not on a tour bus.

“Baby I need to potty can you help me up?” I said to me. He nodded and helped me up from the couch. I waddled to the bathroom, closed the door and sat down on the toilet. But the liquid to flow from my body wasn’t pee. I gasped not expecting what had happen.

“Baby?” I heard Kellan at the door. I got up slowly pulling my sweat pants up. I made it to the door before the contraction hit. I opened the door and gave him a scared look.

“It’s time.” I said. He brought me over to the bed, grabbed my shoes and helped me slip them on, handed me a light jacket and then he grabbed my bag the doctor instructed us to pack, he helped me down the stairs and I had to stop at the bottom because another contraction hit me. When we got out the front door he helped me down the front steps. One of the neighbors was standing outside with their dog.

“Good luck.” Kellan thanked him and got me in the car. He closed the door and another contraction hit. With each one it got worse and worse. I pulled my cell phone out of my hand bag and called my mom.

“Hello?” She answered.

“Mommy, it’s time. Meet us at the hospital.” I said into the phone.

“Alright baby I’ll be right there.” She sounded so excited. Kellan came from the house and got into the car.

“How are you feeling?” He asked. I told him the contraction hurt but besides that I was fine, and that I had called my mom. “Okay.” He didn’t drive crazy he stayed calm. I was very proud of him.

When we got to the hospital my mom was standing outside. She grabbed my stuff as Kellan helped me out of the car. I trying to stay calm. We walked into the hospital and a nurse came right over and had me sit down in a wheel chair.

“You’re very lucky, our maternity ward is pretty empty right now.” The nurse said. I laughed a little. They placed an ID bracelet around my wrist, then brought me up to the delivery room. That’s when I started to get a little scared. I changed into a hospital gown and got comfy in my bed. Kellan came right in, he stood next to me. Mom on the other side.

“Baby girl how are you feeling?” My mom asked.

“Scared.” I said as the tears started to form. Kellan leaned in and kissed my forehead.

“Me too baby.” He whispered.

“That’s normal honey you’re a first time mom, you haven’t done this before. I was the same way.” I looked at her.

“Really?” I asked. She nodded and told me that she almost didn’t let Charlie come out because she was afraid of what was going to happen. I was shock when I heard that. But she then told me that once it was all over and I held them for the first time that all my fears would vanish and my only fear after that would be if I was doing everything right.

The doctor came in and they did a quick check of everything and told me that everything was going perfectly. Neither baby was showing signs of distress and that I should be able to have them naturally. I nodded at what he said. The wait seem to take forever. Over twenty four hours later and I thought it was never going to end, Val had come up and Kristen was there. They wanted to witness the birth of their nephews. But once the whole process of pushing them out started it went fast. It seemed in no time the first baby was crowning and then his head was out. It hurt like no tomorrow and I couldn’t have the meds because of an allergic reaction to one of the ingredients.

Our first son was born, then twenty five minutes later his identical twin was born. Jason Lucas was baby A and Matthew James was baby B. Jason was only 6 ounces bigger then his brother. they were both the same length. They were very hard to tell them apart a side from their ID bracelets. I being their mother could tell them apart. I held Jason first and his birth mark was on his shoulder. I could tell he was going to be my Daddy’s boy. Try to be like his father and be the man of the house when Kellan was away. They both looked just like Kellan.

Val and Kristen were on their phones calling everyone about the babies. Mom was talking to dad on the phone that was in my room. i told Kellan to go and call his parents as I held both my boys. He said he’d wait until my mom was done calling my family then he’d call his from the room phone. He then took Jason.

As I laid there holding Matthew, I thought of all the men in my life that had his first and middle names. My brother Matt. Matt Sanders. Zack’s Brother Matt. And then I thought of all the people I had met over the years and the musician who were on top of the world with his name. Mat Devine. One of my best friends, Matt Good. He’d be the first one to think I named my son after him. His middle name had fewer but I could think of two people right of the bat. Zack’s middle name is James and Jimmy. I was happy with his name. There wasn’t anything I would change. He had a strong name. He had name that meant a lot to me. Then it hit me, it didn’t matter who had is name, all that matter was that he was happy. And right now he was and he was my angel.