Forbidden to Remember

Time passed, Charlie got better, the boys were doing good again, but you could tell all four of them missed her. I was just happy that Charlie wasn’t the death of their mother ruin his sons lives, but I was also happy he wasn’t keeping the fact from them. He wasn’t making tem stop thinking about her and they were still allowed to mention her. Even thou we all knew that he wanted her memory to end, because it hurt him.

A week before I was due to go back to work with the guys, I was with Kellan and Kristen as they filmed Twilight. It was fun watching everything that was happening. As they were filming the baseball scene, my phone started vibrating in my pocket. I walked away from everyone so my call wasn’t picked up on camera, I was shocked to see that Syn or Brian whatever it is you want to call him.

“Hello?” I answered the phone with a question tone.

“Hey Lil it’s Bri what’s up?” he asked. I could tell he was calling cause he was board. Before I left him and Michelle had broken up so he didn’t have anything to do anymore.

“Nothing much just watching them film. What’s up with you?”

“Nothing much just sittin around waiting to go back on tour.”

“Oh,” I said rolling my eyes. “are you packed yet???” I asked knowing he wasn’t.

“Lil how well do you know me, you know for a fact I won’t be packed until three hours before I have to leave.” I laughed.

“You mean three hours after.”

“Hush you.” he said and I could see his face. “So Lil… I’M BOARD AS ALL FUCK MY HEAD IS RACING HELP ME!” he sound serious like he might break.

“Syn, calm down.” I said calmly in the phone. “Go outside, go shopping, go adopt a dog or something just find something to do.” not knowing that he was really going to take me seriously.

“Lil oh my god thank you.” he hung up the phone on me.

A few minutes hours later my phone beeped as Kellan, Kristen, Robert, Ashley, Jackson, Nikki and I went out to dinner. My jaw dropped when I see Brain holding a little puppy close to him.

“Aww he’s so cute.” I said out loud and texted him telling I wanted all the details. The dog was a German Shepard and he named him George. It was so cute. I showed Kellan the picture. And he passed the phone around. They were giving their complements on him(the dog) and Syn.

On the way back to the hotel, Kellan and I made a pit stop at a local convince store. We were getting munchies for the room, when it happened. I turned to walk down the isle to see if Kellan was ready to go and he’s standing tere flirting with someone. My heart shattered, but I wasn’t the type of girl to cry over it. I walked over to them he looked at me and leaned in to kiss my cheek I leaned away from him and whispered,

“You are in so much trouble.” I then walked away and paid for my stuff. I walked out and got in the car slamming the door. Kellan walked out moments after, he got in and I felt hurt and betrayed.

“Babe don’t be mad.” he said. My heart raced.

“I wasn’t mad until now I was more disappointed then mad but you of all people… oh my god, drive to hotel now I’m packing my shit and I’m going home!” I screamed at him.

“No please don’t leave, Lily I love you.” everything stopped right there. We hadn’t said that to each other yet. Things were going slow between us.

“Answer one question,” he nodded. “Why were you flirting with that girl?” I said staring at him.

“We I swear on my mother were just talking.” he said I studied his face.

“Can we just go back now?” I asked turning away from him.

We drove in silence, I hands rested on my lap. I notice he take his hand from the wheel but then put it back down. I didn’t want to hurt him but I couldn’t risk my heart for that.

When we got to the hotel, we both exited the car. He grabbed my stuff for me. It made me want to cry because I knew he understood why I was mad. He understood that right now relationships were important to me because of what had happened to Charlie. The walk thru the lobby seem to last forever. I pushed the up arrow on the elevator and we waited. I looked up at him, his eyes were deep. The blue seemed to fade a little and turn gray, and it made me think ‘I hope our kids have his eyes’ I turned my head quickly. Not knowing where that thought came from.

As we stood at the door, I had the key since his hands were full. I stopped myself from opening the door for a second and turned to him. “I’m sorry.” I whispered looking up at him then down at the floor the was for some reason very interesting at the moment. He dropped the bag on the floor and wrapped me up in his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck and burst into tears. He held me tightly. When I pulled away from him to look at him I seen a trail that was formed by tears down his cheek. I wiped them away then pulled myself up so I could kiss him.

We got inside a few moments later and the door wasn’t even closed for we holding each other again. I was staring in his eyes and I seen guilt behind them. It confused me, but I didn’t want to fight with him I just wanted us in bed together snuggled close and drifting to sleep.