Not Exactly What it Seems

Why were they doing that to her? It always seemed like she had the perfect life, but all of a sudden everything was falling apart and she wasn't able to handle it. It was my fault though, it was all my fault. If I hadn't pushed her into accepting me as a friend, she wouldn't be questioning the role she played in society. There was no way I regretted that, but I caused a lot of pain.

“Onyx, come with us please,” my dad ordered in a creepy quiet voice. So I followed them into the hallway that they had just vacated. “We have some things that we need to discuss with you Onyx and we would like it if you did not fight with us on these subjects. As you know, we have given you a lot of freedom as far as your other life is concerned. Don’t get me wrong, I know how important privacy is, but I think that it is time you took responsibility for who you are. The media has been having a field day wondering where you disappeared to.”

“It’s not that we want you to give up who you are sweetie,” my mother claimed, “but we think that it would be better if you focused more on Felicity for the time being. Just until the media and society has calmed down a little bit at least. We’re not saying that you have to stop seeing Hayden, but we think that you should stop seeing him so much. We love the boy, we really do, but he is interfering with your duty.”

“My duty?” I asked incredulously. “I have no duty to society or to the media or any of that. What you think is my duty is the two of you dictating my life, the two of you telling me who my friends should be. Why would I purposefully associate with sluts who are not really my friends and instead only hang out with me to bring up their status or bring me down? I am absolutely sick of it.”

For a while, they stared at me, not knowing what to say. I had never spoken back to them like that and they had assumed that I was happy with my double life, though I can’t imagine why.

“We do not dictate your life Felicity,” my father hissed. I cringed at the name; he knew how much I hated being called Felicity. “We merely provide a nice house and clothes and all the things that you need in life. All we ask is that you behave and do what we know you can do. I didn’t think that was so much to ask.”

“Are you even listening to yourself? You think that expecting me to do as you wish is not dictating my life? I was always taught never to disobey my parents so yeah; I think that is exactly what you are doing. You manipulated me as a child so that I would not see how stupid this whole thing was and still is.”

They were absolutely livid, but what was I supposed to say? I couldn’t keep everything locked away forever, it wouldn’t have worked. There was no way I wanted to hurt them, but they should have known or figured out that their lifestyle was not for me. Come on, honestly? I would never be someone accepted by society if they knew who I really was so there was really no reason to even pretend.

“How dare you accuse us of manipulating you!” my mother screamed. Her face was becoming beat red and it actually added a comical element to the situation, as horrible as that sounds. I needed something to keep me from killing someone. “We have always loved you and done what was best for you so don’t you for one second think that-”

“Please save the speech Mom, I really don’t want to hear it. I know that you had my best interests at heart, but really? If you were really thinking about me, you wouldn’t have pushed me to date all those guys I never loved or forced me to hang out with the girls that never liked me. You wouldn’t have tried to change me because I didn’t fit the mold of society. I mean, I was so stupid! How could I not have realized what you were doing? You didn’t think I was good enough the way I was so you tried to change me.” I could feel trails of wetness running down my face, a sure sign that I was crying, much to my chagrin. “You were ashamed of me? There just wasn’t room in your plan for a child that didn’t want to be rich and famous so you had to change her?”

I felt a hand on the small of my back, rubbing softly and I instantly knew that it was Hayden. Knowing he was there even though my parents apparently didn’t like him as much as they led me to believe was such a huge comfort.

“How could you say we were ashamed of you?!” my father bellowed. “You know that we have always been proud of you for who you are.”

“Then why? Why change me if I wasn’t broken? Why create me into this perfect little doll so that everyone would like me? If you were always proud of me, why did you try so hard to make me different? Felicity was never me, but I wanted you to be proud of me so much that I pretended I loved being Felicity. But then I guess I know where I get my lying abilities now. When both parents are pros it’s hard not to be a natural.”

That was harsh, I’ll admit, but I really had no alternative. I needed to hit them below the belt so that they could see that I was not making it up. I was sick and tired of all the crap I did to be a socialite. That was not me and I wanted to live my life for once.

My mother paled considerably while my father’s anger completely deteriorated. They were left with blank stares, looking at me as if I was no longer the daughter they knew; as if I was an imposter. As if I was actually Onyx and not Felicity. The reality hit me like a ton of bricks (for lack of a better phrase) and I stared at them with the same blank look. As we stood there, wondering where out perfect family went, the countdown to a New Year began. How ironic that our life would crumble just in time for a new beginning.

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!” could be heard from the dimly lit venue, just a wall away. It was funny how very far the festivities seemed to be from us. I longed to be carefree in that dark obnoxiously decked out (spider theme of course) venue. My favorite band was in there, my favorite people were in there; I wanted to forget about my parents and be me.
“Onyx Felicity, I don’t know what has gotten into you, but it had better stop this instant or-”

“Or what Mom? Or you’ll ground me? You’ll kick me out of the house, out of the family? Well, it seems a little late for that, don’t you think? It seems pretty clear to me that you really don’t want me in your family anymore since I have apparently finally made it clear who I am. And I am certainly not giving up Onyx for Felicity. You are seriously mental if you think that’s ever going to happen.”

“Onyx!” My mother really loved to fill up everyday life with dramatics, just like her favorite soaps. As if that was really how the world works. But then again, maybe it is since apparently everyone cheats on everyone else. My parents fit that mold rather well.

“Onyx, you are not leaving this family. We’re going to go back in there and celebrate with everyone else because that’s what we do. Then we will go home and talk about all of this like a civilized family.”