Mad as a Hatter, Thin as a Dime

“Ves, are you okay?”

It had been two days since the tour had brought the Ashelford girls back home to Philadelphia, and Kyra had given her sister two days to recover. It had been a surprise, their return to their hometown. They had expected their parents to be glad to see them.

Alas, it was not so. Marietta and Arthur Ashelford had never entirely approved of their daughter’s lifestyle. Being a musician wasn’t a career to them, it was a sideline hobby. Travelling in a van or bus with four teenage boys was inappropriate and promiscuous. They assumed the worst, the whole drugs, sex and rock ’n’ roll reputation. They’d always encouraged Kyra’s singing, even given up their basement as a band practice space when Feign started out. They never expected a record deal to carry their precious child away from them.

If possible, they were even more disappointed in Vesper. She’d uprooted her whole life to go and live with her rebellious sister a week after graduation. The girls couldn’t afford an apartment in LA, which had been one small blessing to the protective parents, but when they received the news that their daughters would be living in Las Vegas instead it was hardly a comfort. At least Kyra had a job, no matter how much they disapproved, that would be bringing in some form of steady income. Vesper, however, was living off minimum wage and tips at a coffee shop. It wasn’t right. Their youngest daughter shouldn’t be hitchhiking around the country with her sister and a handful of boys. Vesper wasn’t the same as Kyra. She was delicate and fragile, quiet and breakable. She didn’t have the self-confidence or strong will that Kyra had. She couldn’t handle the world by herself.

Marietta and Arthur had therefore spent most of the reunion enforcing their objection upon their youngest child, trying to convince her to return home. No matter how many times she told them she was happy and comfortable living with Kyra, no matter how many times she reminded them that she was an adult, they still saw her as a porcelain doll. And it only made her feel more insignificant than ever. And when she spoke her final defiance before leaving in the morning with everyone else, her parents didn’t even say goodbye.

Vesper had spent most of the night with Garrett, who dutifully helped her through her tears and tried to cheer her up. By the time they got to New York, their next tour destination, she was feeling reputably better. She didn’t talk much, but she was never really the loudest person to begin with. She hadn’t wanted to return to Feign’s bus, so Kyra left her in Garrett’s capable hands until she was willing to go back. This time had been the afternoon after the New York show, once they’d arrived in Providence. Feign had just finished sound checking, and The Maine were up so Vesper was alone at the back of the venue, which in a few hours would be filled with teenagers jumping, moshing and dancing.

“Hey Ky,” the younger sister greeted softly.

“Sorry about mum and dad.”

“It’s fine. They were never happy about me leaving with you. I shouldn’t have expected them to welcome us with milk and cookies.”

“But still… they were out of line.”

“They’re just upset. They thought they had me in nest for at least another year. You know mum and dad; they don’t like anyone interfering with their plans.”

“You’re feeling a bit better about it obviously,” Kyra observed.

“Well I’ve had enough time to think about it, haven’t I?”

“Well I’m glad,” Kyra smiled, hugging her sister. “And now that you’re feeling better, we’re going to go out after the show tonight. Drinks are on me. You in, I ask expecting a yes?”

Vesper chuckled a little, but before she could respond a semi-sweaty boy in a white singlet came up from behind her and slung his arm over her shoulder.

“Sounds good,” Garrett replied for her. “We need to paint a smile on this pretty face.”

Kyra shot her sister a suggestive look, rather unsubtly, before concluding the conversation with a coy smile and bouncing off to a crowd of her admirers (also known as the rest of her band).

“And now,” Garrett started, turning towards Vesper. “I want you to promise me that you’re going to have a good time tonight.”

Vesper wrinkled her nose.

“By getting intoxicated at some random bar with a bunch of people I barely know?”

“Yes.”

Vesper laughed. How did this boy make her laugh when she was in her least humorous mood?

“I’ll be there,” he added, batting his eyelashes and causing her to laugh some more.

“Oh okay then,” she joked.

“Awesome,” he smiled, kissing her temple as he led her back to the backstage room they’d claimed for the night. “And I promise you, if you’re really not having fun then we’ll go back to the bus early and get drunk just you and me.”

Vesper smiled, biting her lip.

“You’ve got yourself a deal then.”

Garrett smiled and they clicked imaginary glasses before laughing and going to find a way to occupy their time.

***

“You want to go back to the bus?”

A husky whisper in Vesper’s ear sent pleasant tingles down her spine, causing her to bite down on the straw she was sipping from. How many drinks had she had tonight? Three? Four? Did it even really matter?

“Do you want to?” she asked back, her voice rising suggestively at the end of her question in a most un-Vesper-like manner.

Deep chuckles resonated through her head, the warm breath so close to her ear.

“I promised you didn’t I?”

She spun around on the bar stool she’d claimed for the night, a smirk on her painted lips.

“You did.”

With a quick goodbye to Kyra, who was reasonably intoxicated herself and busy in seductive conversation with the rest of the boys, Vesper and Garrett made their way out of the bar and into a cab to take them back to the venue where the buses remained parked.

“Did I ever tell you that I like your hair black?” Garrett asked lowly after accidentally having paid the cab driver a few dollars too much.

“Once or twice,” Vesper smirked, her mind vaguely wandering back to her brief brush with modeling the week before where her hair had been washed, dyed and dried before she could even realize what was going on. But in the alcohol buzz, it was becoming very difficult to recall any times that weren’t the present.

“Well it’s beautiful.”

Vesper was too drunk to blush and take the compliment any way that she normally would. Instead she just started giggling. Her giggling being contagious, Garrett joined in and they entered The Maine’s tour bus in hysterics over whatever had started it. They’d already forgotten.

“How much have you had to drink?” Garrett asked as the two collapsed on the couch in the ‘back lounge’, as they liked to call it, making the small space sound much more luxurious than it really was.

“I’ve forgotten,” Vesper hiccupped. “Three or four? Or five? I’m not sure.”

Garrett chuckled.

“What about you?”

“Only three… I’m not always this much of a lightweight…”

“Sure you’re not,” Vesper laughed.

“What, am I too drunk for you?” he quipped.

“No, you’re not drunk enough.”

“Oh, well good thing I happen to have a bottle of vodka on me then isn’t it?” he grinned, leaning over the couch and pulling a cold bottle of clear liquid out of a small refrigerator.

Vesper, far from her ordinary state of mind, just clapped her hands together gleefully. Garrett opened the bottle and the pair took a whiff of the strong stuff. Vesper’s eyes closed as she leaned her head back and a ghostly smile took over her face.

“You want some juice to mix with it?” Garrett asked. “We’ve got pineapple, guava, cranberry…”

“No thanks,” she cut him off. “Just give it to me straight.”

“That’s what she said,” Garrett muttered as he poured her a shot glass filled to the brim, sending the girl into another round of laughter.

Over the next hour, the two shared shots and teasing words, lucky to be coherent by the time Kyra rang to explain that she and the guys were going to crash at someone’s cousin’s friend’s house for the night, and be back early in the morning by the time they were due to depart.

“Looks like we’ve got the bus to ourselves tonight,” Vesper commented, turning her phone off for the night.

“What a shame,” Garrett whispered deeply, crawling over towards his friend and leaning over her on the couch. “Guess we’ll have to find some way to subdue the boredom…”

“Guess we will…”

It happened so quickly that they didn’t know who started it. All that they could comprehend were their lips pushing against each others with such a driving force it was ridiculous that they’d lasted so long throughout the night without it. His hands travelled her body, craving to touch, and hers were cupping his face and gripping his shirt, pulling him closer.

Were she sober, things would be very different. She would realize that this was the first time she’d kissed anyone in a very long time, the first time she’d ever truly felt physical passion, the first time she’d ever wanted anything so badly. Well, except for one other time… But that time she was crying her eyes dry, not leading her tongue in an elaborate dance over warm skin, and that time it was over something she would never have. This time it was over something that she had.

Garrett’s warm hand found a spot behind her ear, sending goosebumps firing down her thighs, and she pulled him as close as she could, twisting her fingers in his hair. His soft lips trailed down to her throat and she curved into him, the heat intensifying with every passing second. His fingers found their way to the zip at the front of her dress and he looked at her with questioning eyes before she gave him a small nod and he began to undress her. Slipping the garment over her hips, down her legs, and off her ankles, he looked down at her in adoration with lustful eyes. Before he could lean down to kiss her again, she had rid him of his shirt and her hands were making quick work of his belt.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered in her ear.

Her response was to pull him down into another kiss, bare skin pressing against bare skin, racing heartbeats pressing against racing heartbeats. His fingertips spidered over her hips hesitantly, not daring to go any lower without some form of permission.

“Please,” she moaned into his ear.

“Are you sure?” he murmured, brow furrowed slightly.

“Please… I’m not as drunk as you think I am…”

Cautiously, he adhered to her word and touched her where he could only assume no one had ever touched her before. Her sharp intakes of breath, her fluttering eyelids, her tousled hair, it was the most stunning thing he had ever seen.

As time ticked on and things grew more intense, moving from the lounge to Garrett’s bunk, the alcoholic buzz began to fizzle out and both parties became more aware of what was happening. All clothing had finally been shed and it was lying bare underneath another body that Vesper started to remember who she was.

“Wait, Garrett…”

Immediately, the boy froze and looked at his friend with concern.

“I don’t know if I can do this…”

“Okay,” he said, concern embedded in his eyes as he shifted into a sitting position beside her. “Are you okay?”

She nodded.

“Yeah I’m fine… and it’s not that I don’t want to…”

“If it’s protection you’re worried about, I got us covered…”

“No, it’s not that.”

The two slowly put their underwear back on, both deep in thought. As he buttoned up his black skinny jeans, Garrett spoke hesitantly.

“Is it… Is it because of Ryan?”

Vesper paused. Was it because of Ryan? He hadn’t been the first thing on her mind until Garret asked the question, but the automatic answer that flung to her lips was yes. It wasn’t because she didn’t want to lose her virginity to Garrett, her close and trustworthy friend. It was because the feelings she had for Garrett would never be the same as her feelings for Ryan. She may have hardly said a word to him in weeks, and he may be in love with her sister, but there was nothing she could do about it. He was still the one constantly lingering in the back of her mind.

“Yes.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Did she want to talk about it? She and Garrett had only ever mentioned Ryan once, and all that was said was that she used to be really close to him at the beginning of the tour and they’d grown distant. He picked up on the fact that it wasn’t a subject to be brought up.

“Um… yeah.”

Garrett gave her a small smile and crawled up to lie beside her in the small bunk.

“So spill.”

“I don’t know where to start.”

“How about the part where you started to fall for him?”

And so Vesper proceeded to tell him. Everything.