Love Lockdown

Days went by at what felt like an extremely fast pace and before I knew it I was three months pregnant. The small bump that was my baby was barely noticeable unless I was wearing a t-shirt. But I’ve been wearing hoodies all the time so know one outside of the band and Jamie knew I was pregnant. I was a hormonal wreck and I’ve practically eaten everything in Jamie and Matt’s fridge, luckily for me they keep it stocked all the time. And everything always seems to satisfy my weird food cravings. Did you know that Pizza with maple syrup taste amazing? That’s all I’ve been eating for the past week.

Other then going to the hospital I haven’t really left the house for anything. I’ve been thinking a lot about what Oli said to me and I still can’t make up my mind on whether or not I’m going to take him back. I want to so bad, but I’m so afraid that he’ll cheat on my again. And with a kid on the way I really can’t handle that much stress. So I haven’t bothered to call him or try to contact him in the slightest. The guys think I should but I’ve been too scared to do it. I’ve heard from Jamie that Melissa is due next month and that Oli is nervous as all hell. That’s not surprising it is his first kid.

Even though I have months to go I am still nervous as all hell. I haven’t fully comprehended that I am going to be a mom. But everytime I feel my stomach I know there’s something alive inside there and it scares the hell out of me. The thoughts that run though my mind are always the same. Am I ready for this? Will I be a good mom? I don’t know the answers. A baby doesn’t come with a manual all the answers won’t be handed to me. It’s something I’m going to have to learn on the way and I just hope I’ll be ready for it.

I sighed deeply to myself as I lied on my bed and continued to stare up at the ceiling like I had been doing for the past hour. The TV wasn’t on but the stereo was blasting We Came As Romans. I know that it’s a nice day but nothing has motivated me to move around the house. I could go into the backyard and sit by the pool but I don’t really feel like it. The life of a pregnant woman is a boring one.

“Nay get up.” I shifted my head so I could look at the person that called my name from the doorway and a small smile crept across my face as I watched Jamie roll her eyes at me from the doorway with her arms crossed. I turned on my side completely so I could look at her without hurting my neck.

“Why?” I whined. “I don’t feel like moving.”

“You need to leave this house eventually lady. Get some fresh air. See the world outside this house.”

“Do I really have to?”

“Yes! You haven’t left the house in over a month. And now I am making you get out. Whether its kicking and screaming or having Matt make you take a shower.” I started laughing.

“You wouldn’t mind if Matt gave me a shower?”

“Not really everybody’s seen you naked before so it doesn’t really matter to me.”

“When has everybody seen me naked?”

“Remember last year at Tom’s birthday party you were wasted and started stripping and singing to Lady Gaga?” I started to blush like mad and buried my face in my pillow. I had completely forgot about that. I thought everyone had.

“You promised you’d never speak of that again!” I whined again. “Its bad enough Oli recorded it on his phone. Do you know how hard it was to make him get rid of it.”

“I’m guessing it was pretty hard. Now do you want another repeat or are you going to take a shower and get ready?” I sighed deeply and over dramatically before swinging my legs over the bed and standing up.

“You happy now?”

“Yes no get ready, we’re going clothes shopping.”

“Fine. I’ll be down in a few.”

“Good. Oh and by the way Oli never got rid of that tape. All of us have a copy.” Jamie stated before rushing out the room. I just pretended that I didn’t hear her and continued to on my way to the bathroom.

-X-

Jamie and I had been in the mall for about an hour and the only thing we had managed to do was buy Jamie three new outfits and two pairs of new shoes. I hadn’t bought anything yet besides the three scoop ice cream cone I had been licking on for the past five minutes.

“You’re not going to buy anything?”

“What are you talking about? I bought something.”

“That damn ice cream doesn’t count.”

“How does it not count if I paid for it with money?”

“Oh shut up.”

“Fine we can look around some more and I’ll try to find something I want.”

“That’s more like it.” Jamie said smirking at me. I just rolled me eyes in amusement. Jamie looked down at her cellphone and I furrowed my eyebrows. She had been checking her phone all day off and on and I was starting to wonder why she was doing it.

“Why do you keep checking your phone?”

“Matt said he would text me when he got here.” I groaned. There was no way Matt would come by himself which meant he was with the guys, which meant Oli would be here and he was the last person I wanted to see.

“I joy.” I said sarcastically and Jamie just laughed at me.

“Don’t worry Oli isn’t going to be with him.” I just ignored her statement and continued to focus on my ice cream. Jamie and I continued on with our conversations until she jumped in surprise when her phone vibrated. I laughed and she leaned over the table and flicked my forehead. I whined and rubbed my forehead while she laughed at me.

“Matt just got here. He said they’re in front of Victoria’s Secret.”

“Who is he with?”

“He didn’t say.” I rolled my eyes for what was probably the thousandth time and got up out of the chair I was sitting in and started walking with Jamie to the escalators. I continued to lick at my ice cream as we made are way to Victoria’s Secret. When we were almost there I wanted to turn around and run when I saw who Matt was with, Oli Sykes was the last person I wanted to see at the moment. I glared at Jamie and she just shrugged her shoulders. I had a feeling she knew he was going to be here with Matt but I didn’t ask her about it. Oh boy today is going to be an interesting one.