Half Bitten

Starting over wasn’t something I was used to doing.

Normally, I would find a chance to run away. Run away from all my problems and fears. Allowing the crumbled up paper, which kept log of all my painful memories, a chance to blow away in the wind.
But this time, it was different.
I couldn’t possibly crumble up that piece of paper. It couldn’t possibly be carried away by the wind. This wasn’t just a normal piece of paper. This paper was torn, wrinkled by my painful memories. With the corners frayed off as people walked in and out of my life. It was the last of the collection. Permitting me no choice in pulling out a new piece of paper.
An empty canvas allowing new memories to flow from the ink of the willing pen being dragged on its pale surface. Wrinkle free, the corners well in tact.

Starting over was never an easy thing.

It wasn’t as if I could close my eyes and retake the actions my mind had foolishly committed. I had no reason to fall in love with him yet my body let itself descend. Without struggling, without uttering a word.

Starting over is never an easy thing.

My eyes slowly allowed themselves to open. Fighting to remember the fact that I had yet endured another night without his warm arms around me made my eyes want to tear. In return to the moisture, I sighed.
It wasn’t a tired sigh; one a person would give when they’ve had enough with the world, neither a regretful one.
It was a sigh merely to calm my nerves.
Preparation. To allow my body to make peace.
Walking, past the abandoned skinny jeans I had left on the floor one week ago, I reached the bathroom. Blinking lazily, I stood still.
“You don’t need him.” I reminded myself, finally reaching for the toothbrush. I had to admit that I was getting along rather well. As much as he was stuck in my mind, day to day, he would slowly fade away. It wasn’t hard to forget him. Throwing bitter remarks when Lowlii’s name came up, Amber helped along with the process happily.
I hummed a tune as the toothbrush grazed my teeth. A few more minutes and I was down in the kitchen, raiding the fridge for a snack before school. I purposely left my bag in my bedroom, knowing that this school day would be full of nothing but tests and mind numbing lectures.
“So, are you ready for Christmas break?” My dad asked. He entered the kitchen wrapping his arms over his chest. Fighting off a shutter, he smiled.
“Yeah. It might snow. I love the snow.” I shuttered back happily. Many people didn’t mind the fact that it was getting colder in Port Angeles and I was one of them. Which also meant that my birthday was coming up soon.
“Are you taking the truck today, or is Amber going to pick you up?” my dad wondered.
“She’s driving me to school. I’m sure she’ll be here any minute if you want to talk to her.”
My dad nodded in assurance. “No, no. I trust you.”
I nodded, hoping the awkward silence that developed between us would be cut short by Amber’s knock on the door.
“Is there something you want to tell me, Dad?”
He looked up edgily, “What? Me—no, not at all. Nothing whatsoever.”
I failed to find the truth in his statement.
“You sure? I know I’ve been busy, so now’s the perfect time.” I urged.
My dad hesitated, “yeah. I guess. Why? Do you want to tell me anything? Have you and Lowlii done something that needs my attention?”
Suddenly I stopped. “Lowlii? I haven’t been speaking to him for the past 9 days.”
At once, his mood seemed to change. “Oh well! That solves everything! Have a good day at school.”
Before I had a chance to comment on his rigid attitude he walked himself out of the kitchen and into the living room. As soon as his feet hit living room carpet, the phone rang timely. With one quick swipe he picked it up and headed up the stairs.
“Hi, hun.” His tone was one I hadn’t heard in a long time. In fact, I was sure that it was one only used when talking to my mom.
Warm and nurturing.
I squinted, trying to decode his actions.
There was obviously something on his mind. Why would he be concerned on what Lowlii and I did in our spare time? Even seeing Lowlii without adult supervision was out of the question. It was something my dad would never allow.
“Come on, Jackie! Lets go!” Amber’s voice found its way through the cracks of the kitchen door. I slipped my heavy jacket on and yelled to my dad as I walked myself into the cold. “Bye dad! I’ll call you when I get home!”
Incoherent mumbling was his response.
I shifted into the front passenger seat of Amber’s car slowly.
“What’s wrong with you?” Amber questioned. Calculating the puzzled look on my face she sighed, “do you want me to punch the guy?”
I shook my head, “I think my dad is in love with Lowlii.”
Laughter rumbled from her throat. “Poor, Jackie.”
I sulked into my seat as the car started to accelerate down the road. I shuttered as the wind blew to my face.
“Oh. Sorry.” Amber turned her head forward, allowing her eyes to gaze over the empty road. “I forgot you weren’t one of us.”
I turned to question her statement only to fall short of the action. Even though she had a werewolf side, it was one that my mind over looked.
“So, what are we doing this weekend? We have to do something.” tucking a couple of strands behind her ear, she stroked her neatly combed hair. For once she was starting to look like herself.
“How about we have a sleepover.” I offered.
She scoffed, “where we can tell each other our deepest secrets and paint our nails happily—no thanks.”
I smiled, “good point. How about we go shopping at the mall? I don’t think my dad will do the Christmas shopping this year.”
She scoffed again, “no thanks. Shopping isn’t for me.”
I looked down at the sweatshirt she had thrown on. “Obviously.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she retorted.
I shrugged innocently, “I’m just saying, it wouldn’t hurt.”

“No talking.” The teacher sat perched upright on his chair, scanning the room for moving mouths.
I looked down at my desk, finishing up part one of my Algebra II test. No wonder 1st period was never memorable. I was sad to admit that I had been taking Algebra II for half a year and didn’t come to the conclusion until now.
“Eyes on your own paper.” The teacher grumbled.
I looked back down only to find randomly arranged squiggles staring back at me. my eyes widened as I tried to make sense of the alien language etched into the paper in front of me.
“C.” a sharp voice whispered from the seat next to me. “The answer is c.” Alec whispered once more.
“No talking.” The teacher demanded.
I glanced back at Alec nervously. He sat lazily on his chair as his test booklet was placed away from him already turned over.
“How are you done so fast?” I whispered back.
He smirked, letting his eyes gaze towards the front of the classroom. “The next one’s B.”
My hand quickly circled the letter.
“Stop talking, Jackie.” The teacher urged.
Alec snickered silently in his seat. I was always getting into trouble with him. Accident or not, he was always around the corner watching over me with his mocking golden brown eyes.
I glared at the unfinished test in front of me once more. It was completely pointless to try and pull answers out of thin air. My pencil bubbled in the last two answers as my mind came to the conclusion that summer school would be the best thing to help me out of this ignorant state of being. For a couple of minutes I sat staring blankly at the wall in front of me. There had to be something entertaining enough to get me through the next half hour. I let my head turn as my eyes gazed around the classroom for anything out of the ordinary, anything fun.
As I saw that Alec had gone into a light doze, I smirked. The last time his name came up in conversation was when Lowlii had told me to stay away, not to speak a word to him. Quickly I crumbled up an old piece of notebook paper and watched as it hit Alec’s ear.
“Hi.” I whispered.
He groaned softly, turning his head to my voice. Squinting his eyes, he tried to keep awake. “You know, I’ve sat next to you for half a year now, and this is the most you’ve talked to me.”
I smiled nervously, “well, if it helps, I didn’t know I was taking Algebra II until only seconds ago.”
This time, he smiled. “Yeah, it helps.”
“Stop talking.” The teacher commanded to the class but I knew that it was directed towards Alec and I more.
I leaned back into my seat with no intention of continuing our conversation.
“So, how are things going with you and Lowlii?” Alec whispered.
I shrugged carelessly, “don’t know, haven’t talked to him for a while.”
Alec’s eyebrows rose in shock, “you’re kidding. You guys were inseparable.”
I glowered, “whatever you say.”
“Have you been keeping yourself updated?”
“About what?”
“The attacks. They’re getting pretty brutal.”
I had to fight from groaning, “so what? If it hasn’t caught me now, it wont ever catch me.”
He chose to protest, “I doubt that even you believe that.”
No wonder why I didn’t strike up a conversation earlier in the year with him.
Alec sighed and leaned over to me slightly, “if you’re the girl from the legend, you need to keep yourself well informed. Its your obligation.”
I squinted my eyes in annoyance, “is it also your obligation to remind me how unsafe in the world I am?”
“More or less.” He retorted back subtly.
I picked up my pencil and tapped on the desk lightly. “Besides, I’m perfectly safe.”
He chuckled lightly, “Are you sure about that? The Whites are pretty careless. Even Lowlii. he can burst out of his shell any second.”
I had to fight from reacting nervously. There was no way he knew that The Whites were a pack of werewolves residing here only to protect mankind from ravenous vampires.
“Lowlii’s not a hermit crab, Alec.”
He chuckled once more, “you know for a fact that, that was not where my train of thought was headed.”
I bit my lip, “well, then where was it going? There’s nothing wrong with Lowlii or the people in his family. The Whites are pretty normal people.”
“That depends on your definition of people.”
I stared at him once more, allowing him to finish his sentence. “Tell me, Jackie. Do you really think you’re safe with those kinds of people?”
“Yes.” I inhaled calmly. “But you’ve hated his family for so long that you don’t even know them anymore.”
He smiled slightly, “long indeed.”
I tried to decode his words. “What do you mean by that?”
“You know,” he sighed again, “for a girl, you’re pretty clueless.”
“You know,” I retorted back mimicking his tone, “for a human you’re pretty pale.”
For once our eyes met. “How are you so sure that I’m human?”
His words echoed intently in my mind. I stared back into his eyes in hopes that the truth would reveal itself. In hopes that I would figure out what kind of game he roped me into. His pale skin was out of the ordinary and I distinctly remember the coldness of his hands as he placed them onto my shoulders. Not to mention the pulse that seemed to materialize between us every time we made eye contact. It was like he pulled me into a trance, as if I was hypnotized.
I scoffed at my stupidity. Although it would be a valid reason on why they hated each other so much, there was no way that Alec—the Rolands were a coven of vampires.
“Why do you hate the Whites so much?” I dared to ask.
He blinked twice, letting me out of his trance. Sulking back lazily in his seat he began to mutter. “You’ve missed the point entirely. I know what they are; it’s not hard to figure out. The question is, have you figured out what I am?”
“Jackie.” The teacher called out. “I won’t ask you again. Stay quiet.”
“You can’t escape destiny, Jackie.” Alec continued. “If you are the girl from the legend—which I don’t doubt for one second, you need to keep yourself safe. You need to know what will happen to you if don’t.”
I shook my head slowly, denying the essence of this conversation. “I’m not the girl from the legend.”
He scoffed.
“Besides, if you believe that the Whites are whatever you think they are, then you’ll agree with me that I’m perfectly safe as long as I’m imprint free.”
Alec’s eyebrows rose again, “you mean he hasn’t kissed you yet?” after a pause his mouth moved again, “that dog broke our deal.”
“Deal?” my head quickly rushed back to the night of my almost-death. “What deal?”
Alec disregarded my question. “Go to sleep, you’re tired.”
I looked around, “we’re in class, Alec. It’s ten fifteen in the morning. Tell me about the deal you and Lowlii made.”
“I’m sure he’ll tell you himself.”
“Jackie! That is it!” the teacher stood up out of his chair urgently, “go to your next class.” He continued to bark.
Due to the fact that I was rushed out of my first period class, I had shown up early to my second one, Ms. Rolands allowed me to walk out ten minutes before the ball rang. I didn’t know whether it was because she wanted to get rid of me or had found out that Alec let his mouth slip. Leaning against the side of Amber’s convertible, my mind was deep in thought.
What was the deal Lowlii and Alec made? it couldn’t be very hard to figure out. The attacks were somehow linked to me seeing as how I’m expected to be the girl from the legend. The Whites are supposed to protect the side of town I reside in more because of the fact that my presence is there. Alec would be in the way of that. if he is a vampire—which I still doubt, The Whites would probably not want him around the reservation or me.
He was supposed to be the one to steal me away.
“Funny meeting you here.” a warm voice laughed.
I allowed myself to be pulled back into reality. The parking lot around me didn’t seem to have changed much. In rows the cars waited patiently for the last bell to ring so they could be put to good use. It didn’t seem like anyone had walked out of the school after me so I let my head turn towards the voice.
Lowlii stood perched against Kindle’s blue pickup truck, which was parked 3 yards away. I tried not to make eye contact, seeing as how I had made it so far without seeing his pretty blue eyes.
“Yeah, it is.” I mumbled, looking to the ground.
He shifted over slightly, turning his body towards me. Letting his head bob to the side he pursed his lips. “What have you been up to the past 2 weeks?”
Seemed like Lowlii wasn’t up for games today.
“Just stuff.” I shrugged.
“What kinda-stuff?” he shrugged back.
“Why do you care?” I asked.
“No reason.” he crossed his arms over his chest and let his eyes gaze to the side coolly, “just haven’t been talking to you lately and I’m worried. Amber isn’t a good influence sometimes.”
I glowered, still keeping my eyes low. “You’re just saying that because she used to like you.”
“In a sense.” He agreed with me, letting the smile on his face spread.
I tapped my foot on the ground nervously and waited until I was sure his head was turned the other way. I glanced at him; his skin, as always, was completely flawless, his black hair a centimeter longer.
“You grew your hair out more.” I muttered.
Lowlii’s head turned after hearing my comment. Once again our eyes met.
For a second I caught a glimpse of the two of us, me running towards him, him holding his arms out for me ready to embrace me with a hug. The sun would shine right behind him as he blocked part of it with his head. Making it seem as if he was a creature created especially by God to make the world just a little bit prettier.
“Yea, I did. I thought about buzzing it off… but I guess I just didn’t get the chance.”
I nodded in approval, “good. Don’t. Your hair looks nice the way it is.”
He nodded as well, “you curled your hair.”
Subconsciously my hands reached for my hair. My fingers played with the curls, “yeah, I guess I did.”
Lowlii’s smile widened, his eyes fogged with compassion. “You look good.”
I bit my lip and let my eyes trace to the ground. I felt like I was in one of those bittersweet movie moments. Any second now I would start crying and he would wrap his arms around me. At the slightest jerk of the head, we would kiss and live happily ever after.
But kissing meant that he would imprint on me. As far as I knew, I wasn’t the one he loved. I wasn’t the one that he wanted to belong to. Although some say imprinting is a curse, I wouldn’t mind. The love I held for him was something special, something that couldn’t be given to anyone else but him and imprinting meant just that. Not being able to love anyone the way I love him wouldn’t bother me. In fact, I don’t care for anyone else the way I care for him.
I inhaled sharply and turned to the car behind me, putting my hand on the handle. “I’ll see you around, okay?”
He let a brow arch up in confusion, “what’s going on?”
I shook my head, “nothing. Nothing I did anyway.”
“Uh-oh, what did I do this time?” he rolled his eyes mockingly, “I didn’t mean it. It was Nathan.”
I had to fight from smiling. “Actually, I think it had more to do with Alec.”
Instead of staying in his humored state, his body tensed as his eyes pinpointed directly towards mine. “You talked to Alec? I thought I told you not to.”
“Yea, well you have no control over me anyway.” I scoffed childishly.
He groaned, “tell me every word he said to you so I could go punch him.”
I rolled my eyes, “ I should punch you.”
Lowlii smirked, “what is it with you girls? One day you’re happy, the next you want to tear someone’s head off.”
“He told me about a deal.” I said slowly, “a deal you and him agreed on.”
Lowlii stayed silent, his eyes shifting from side to side.
I turned back slowly, “does it have anything to do with me?”
He chose to disregard my question. “I’ll kill that little mosquito.”
My feelings grew angry. There was always something he kept hidden away from me. Whether it had to do with his werewolf side or tribe traditions. For a while I thought he told me all his secrets, I thought he couldn’t bear to keep anything concealed from me. But I could tell that wasn’t the case anymore.
“I knew it.” I sighed sadly. “You never trusted me. I was just a puppet to you.”
He stood up straight, “Jackie, this isn’t the kind of stuff you tell people—it isn’t the kind of stuff you tell a girl.”
I threw my hands up into the air dramatically, letting the sarcasm flow excessively. “Oh! I’m sorry I let you down in that area! Hold on while I go get my fake mustache!”
He groaned once again, “trust me! This isn’t the time. It has to be just right for you and I.”
I bit my lip angrily, “so, I guess I’m just too unimportant to be filled in on your uniquely devised plan that happens to include me.”
The school beside us began to let out a tone. The last bell rang yet we still stood still.
“Trust me.” Lowlii urged. “Just hold on for one more day and you’ll see what I’m talking about.”
One day? One measly stupid day? Did he know how much could happen to me in one day? How heartbroken I would be?
“Well if it isn’t The Cheater.” Amber icily came into the conversation.
Lowlii rolled his eyes, “this doesn’t include you Amber. Go away.”
She scoffed, “the last time I checked, my car was parked here. What are you doing here?”
Lowlii’s eyes glanced back to mine with the question on why I let Amber behave so bitterly without protest.
“Come on, Jackie.” Amber urged. “Let’s go before traffic gets heavier.”
I looked back down to the ground as my feet walked themselves around the front of the car towards the front passenger seat.
“Jackie! Wait!” Lowlii’s voice called back to me as I shifted into the car. “Don’t go if you’re upset. We need to talk about this.”
Amber answered instead. “Just leave us alone.” The car started to rev under me.
I glanced back to Lowlii one more time. He stood still, letting his eyes find my face. I tried not to cave in. I tried to remember how much pain he caused me but my thoughts were objective. The feeling of his warm arms around me invaded my body. His smile, one that would make any day complete, was etched into my mind.
“This has nothing to do with you, Amber.” He yelled back.
I closed my eyes, “Just drive, Amber.”
She moved her foot onto the gas pedal but something stopped her from pressing down.
“Rain check, than.” Lowlii demanded.
Those words were ones I grew to dread.
Amber waited for my answer. She turned to me with hopeful eyes, “tell him to walk out of your life once and for all. Trust me, it’s the only way you’ll truly get over him.”
“But I don’t want him out of my life.” I groaned.
Amber rolled her eyes, “good bye Lowlii.” she pressed onto the gas pedal.
The car swerved in between others impatiently. I gripped on the sides of my seat for support.
“What is wrong with you?” Amber hissed. “Us girls—we’re supposed to stick together. You were supposed to tell him to leave you alone. That way he can never hurt you again.”
I squinted my eyes shut, “what if he didn’t mean to. I never once told him the way I felt. If anything, it’s my fault more then his.”
She growled in her seat, “god, Jackie! Why do have to do that? Why do you have to be so—so—Human!”