Half Bitten

Change.
Everything around me felt different but I knew that nothing had changed. Stepping out of Ms. Roland’s car still involved the same action; putting one foot on the ground at a time, yet I did it more cautiously. I could hear muffled music as I walked closer towards the door.
Change.
Even the front doors of my dad’s bookstore looked different.
The faint subtle blue paint it was covered with seemed to be brighter, but there was no sign that indicated that a new replacement door was thrusted onto the hinges. Alec sighed out of annoyance as he started to walk towards the door. “Come on, Jackie. Stop being such a stick in the mud.”
I lazily let my feet drag after his. “What was the point of this? Everyone thinks I’m a loser. Besides, you try wearing your mother’s heels.”
Alec exasperatedly rolled his eyes at me. “Jackie—everyone told you that you looked beautiful. Being runner up does not change any of it.”
Change.
I didn’t look beautiful. I just managed to look different.
“Thanks dad.” I smiled sourly towards Alec.
Throughout the car ride, I had to fight the urge to smear the coating of makeup that managed to cover my face, and it wasn’t as if my hair was helping with matters either. It was almost as if it was trying to blind me.
“Would you come on, already?” Alec urged me as I walked farther towards the doors. For a second I self-consciously glanced to the main windows to my reflection.
At first I didn’t know whether to accept the person staring back or not. I hoped that there was another girl behind me, or even in front of me that was drenched in the same green tone. As we finally took the last step, facing the door, I could still feel Alec’s anger.
“Just to warn you…” He tried to sound sincere, “this isn’t just any after party.”
If it weren’t for my paranoid mood, I would’ve laughed. “What do you mean?”
Before I could step back, his hand grabbed mine. “Oh, calm down before you have a coronary infarction.”
“I’ll infarke you if you don’t tell me what’s going on!” I hissed.
“As if I didn’t see that coming.” Alec pulled my hand, which caused me to fall almost instantly because of the heels I was forced into. Even though I was hitched over his shoulder, I could still feel what was going on. He walked forward until we were engulfed in darkness. The atmosphere felt familiar but I didn’t have time to form a conclusion. Propped onto my feet, I was turned to a direction.
“Surprise!” the crowd before me screamed in happiness as the lights were thrown on. After squinting, I could see the faint outline of familiar faces.
Change.
It was something I fought, until this very moment. Now, I was supposed to embrace the change, even if I didn’t want to. Gazing up, I could see a banner decorated with the words “Congratulations Home Coming Princess!”
My father fumbled out of the crowd in front of me with open arms, in an attempt to break the awkward silence. “Sweetie! Aren’t you happy! You won!”
I tried not to groan as I was wrapped into his arms. “Dad—I’m the runner up—not The Princess.”
“Awah!” He sighed after pulling away. “The real princess didn’t even bother to show up. The crown should’ve been yours.” I glanced back to the crowd; it seemed as if everyone entertained themselves in their own conversations, as Ms. Rolands traveled to us. I recognized a few faces and of course, Becca, Sadie, Rufus, and Darby were ones among them.
“Come on, Honey.” She sweetly called out to my dad. “You don’t want to slow her night down. Go ahead and meet your friends, Jackie.”
Before I could protest, Alec was by my side, dragging me into another pocket of people. Kelly greeted us first, and then started to introduce us to her friends. I smiled, and nodded as I tried to listen but couldn’t help to zone out the conversation. This was a day I would’ve never expected.
As last the night went on, I thought the worst was over. However, my serenity disappeared as I arrived to school. The nominees were not allowed to go to class. Seeing as how it was a day dedicated for voting, the school didn’t want any last minute rivalry. Alec caught me in the hallway and walked me to the cafeteria where ASB, the Home Coming Committee, and the rest of the nominees were waiting for rehearsal. The head of The Home Coming committee stood on the table for dramatic emphasis, as he ruffled through his shabby hair. After listing off the agenda he quickly told us that as soon as the bell rang, rehearsal would begin and that we were going to line up according to class level. “ Seniors first, then juniors, then sophomores, and then whatever class level is left.” After the freshmen groaned at the lack of respect they attained, the shabby-haired boy mentioned that we were going to be let out early, and that was something that made me smile. However, what came out of his mouth next made me angry. “But, only after we see you in your Home Coming attire, first.” After being urged to look to the bright side of things by Alec, I tried to feebly find an excuse as to why I was never going to be able to show up for the dance, anyway. From the corner of my eye I could see Alec cunningly smirk to my remark that we didn’t buy any heels on our last mall trip. “ My mom said you’d say that. Here,” I felt something prick my hand, “She also said that they should fit you.” he continued to smirk.
The bell rang and I managed to dump my stuff in a vacant corner. The head of the Committee urged us as he read off of his clipboard that we needed to stand in line. After listing off the couples, he uttered my name “…Then standing behind them should be, Parker Conners and Jackie Brown.”
My forehead crumbled at the unity that was expressed between Parker and I by the shabby-haired boy. Parker linked his arm around mine, knocking Alec out of his position beside me. I, of course, responded awkwardly, hoping that this day would end before it even began. Walking in straight lines, one after the other, was what we did all day long. The girls were told to smile and the boys were told to think tall and buff. Alec managed to conjure up permission to stay, only after playing the field with Kelly. She couldn’t help but smile every time she looked up to his eyes. The way she acted around him made me feel as if there was something wrong with me.
Realizing where I was, I pulled myself back into reality but came to the conclusion that I was missing nothing. Alec was still standing beside me, and Kelly was still introducing us to the rest of her friends.
“And this is Amanda. I think you’ve met her before.”
Amanda smiled half-heartedly as if her cheeks were sore.
I didn’t blame her.
At rehearsal, it pained me to smile. However, I didn’t have to pretend for long. At one point, Alec managed to turn his boredom into something productive: Assuring himself that he had the majority of the people paying attention; he walked behind the shabby-haired boy. Mocking him, Alec over extended his expressions, and let his arms flail out with no intention of stopping them. Knowing Alec for so long, this was a side I never saw and it made me laugh.
“Jackie and Parker!” the shabby-haired boy barked, obviously filled to the brim with stress. “Will you please stop flirting long enough to pay attention!” Alec mimicked his hand gestures perfectly.
I couldn’t stop laughing and Alec had me exactly where he wanted. His green eyes possessed a spark as he followed out his plan. While strategically placing himself at the right angel, in which he would be able to commit any action that would surely be in my line of vision, he extended one hand out and began to make a swatting motion.
Even now it caused me to giggle. In return, Alec jabbed me in the stomach subtly with his elbow.
This time, all the attention was turned to me.
“I love your dress.” Amanda commented. “When did you get it?”
Change.
The old me would never wear something like this.
“Yesterday,” I peeped, then pointed to Alec. “It was his idea.”
Yesterday, after coming to the realization that I wasn’t crazy, I placed myself into the car and at which point Alec tried to drive me to the mall in one piece. He still didn’t know why I looked the way I did and I didn’t want him to realize. I denied, even to myself, that the werewolves were back into town.
“She said that she didn’t like the green.” Alec mentioned to Kelly.
“Well, I look like a frog.” I commented only to gain disapproving faces.
“No, you don’t!” Amanda urged.
“Yeah, you look flawless.” Kelly smiled. “It’s a shame Parker is missing this.”
Parker—the name caused my stomach to rumble. After mentioning that he was excited about our ice cream date, he managed to conjure up enough strength to bust a move.
On our rehearsal break, one we were blessed with, Parker told me that something had been on his mind since the beginning of the day. I stood perfectly still, hoping that someone would save me. His fingers lightly traced my cheek as his eyes passionately tried to communicate with mine. I didn’t know what was on his mind until his face lowered. It wasn’t long till his lips puckered up, and I couldn’t handle it. My mouth flew open and words spilled out. I knew what I was saying but I couldn’t stop. He said he understood, and he wasn’t going to hold any grudges against me. For a second, I believed him and thought that our friendship would strengthen, but his absence at the Home Coming Dance told me different.
“I just hope I’ll see him soon,” I peeped again.
I could see Alec’s eyes catch a spark. After Kelly and Amanda excused themselves, he turned to me.
“So, are you going to say it yet?”
“What?” I tried not to blink dumbly.
He raised his head up. “ Just a thank you will suffice.”
“Thank you for what?” I scoffed.
Alec let his hands gesture. “Surely you’re not that clueless.”
It took me a second to understand this conversation and the awkward silence caused me to look at my environment. The lighting was dim enough so as to keep our energy level calm, yet the disco ball rotating allowed us to feel bursts of energy. Even though my father’s store was never big, the way this party was set up made it look at least five times bigger. There were two long tables set up in the back decorated with food and drinks. The elevator music playing allowed there to be free easy going conversations without any delay.
“You planned all this?”
“Well,” Alec sighed as he subtly stuffed his hands into the front pockets of his dress pants. “I can’t take all the credit. Your father suggested the food.”
I smiled lightly, still looking at the faces in the crowd. Darby and Rufus managed to find the food tables and raced towards them, making the people in their way swerve to the side in order to keep their lives. Becca and Sadie were standing near Ms. Rolands, who of course was paying no attention to them and more to my father. She seemed to be speaking heavily, as if in the middle of a heated conversation.
Somehow, fear came over me. True, nothing hinted that they were in an argument, but my dad deserved to be in a relationship. The way he lacked the wanting to hear a ‘thank you,’ even from me, only proved to me that he needed to be in a relationship. He needed someone to care for and Ms. Rolands was the perfect candidate. Besides, if my father and his relationship with Ms. Rolands ceased to continue, where would that to leave Alec and I?
“They’ve been like that for the past three days.” Alec intruded my train of thought as he stared off to my father and Ms. Rolands. “I guess it’s more of a bickering banter than actual arguing.”
I couldn’t help but wonder on what they were arguing about and prayed that Ms. Rolands hadn’t figured out that some of The Whites were back in town. “But bickering eventually leads to arguing.” I mentioned.
He let his eyes move from side to side intently, as he tried to conclude what was on my mind. “Well, what do you think we should do? We can’t watch them like flies on a wall.” `
“But we could be the dogs they call best friends.”
Alec rolled his eyes, “I’ve never been one to fetch, Jackie.”
I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I felt an obligation to do something. Alec could tell that I was going to interfere and made it his job to distract me by any means necessary. Even if it meant making people dance.
All the teenagers were dancing their hearts out as the adults stood watching. There were a couple of people who arrived late, but it wasn’t as if I had time to care. Alec wouldn’t let me do anything besides mingling and dancing. If I needed food, he would be the one to say that I didn’t need it. Strangely, the dance fever took over my body soon enough, and I was dancing willingly. There was something about being in a sea of bodies that moved to the same beat and even if you didn’t hear it, you were able to see the music as the various bodies moved around.
Although I was having fun, I was forced to stop when I realized that the boy I was dancing with wasn’t Alec.
“Yeah, baby! Keep moving!” Darby screamed to me with a smile.
I gave the excuse that I needed to allow food into my system, even though I wasn’t hungry anymore. Stumbling towards the food table, I still bobbed my head to the beat happily. After I tasted the saltiness of chips, I could feel my feet throbbing. I didn’t want to bend down in such a crowded area and remembered the back room my father was stacking books in, so made my way towards there.
Instead of seeing books, I saw boxes. At least thirty packed tight with books. I was intrigued enough to start opening some of them but couldn’t ignore the pain my feet were enduring. I stumbled towards the back end corner of the room, and it wasn’t like I had a long way to go. Setting myself on one of the boxes, I started to pick at the strap tied to my ankle.
“I just don’t understand it…” I heard a voice trail in slowly.
I didn’t pay much attention to how close the voice was. I knew that no one would be able to see me anyway.
“Well, what do you want me to do Kassie?” My father asked, almost at his breaking point. “I made sure that Bird would promise to tell us if Cole was back into town.”
“But I saw him!” Ms. Rolands intruded. “He was at the High School parking lot that night I sent Alec to find Jackie.”
This time, I had no choice but to pay attention. I stopped fidgeting with the almost loose strap and strained my ears to listen.
“Even if she does still love him, he’s not the same anymore. He-he didn’t even look the same anymore.” Ms. Rolands continued with slight stutter. “Scars all over his body… I just hope that he doesn’t find her.”
“I know, I know.” My father agreed. “There’s no telling what else he’ll do.”
I was speechless; my entire vocabulary was erased. All I felt were emotions. It was as if I was a little child, lost in a crowd of giants. My body shook with fear while I tried to avoid their feet, yet I was angry at the fact that the gods had put me in this situation. I wanted to throw things around and become destructive, yet knew I was too fragile to do it.
I was told that he was dead. My heart grew to set on that fact happily because of the fact that he didn’t die at the mercy of Becca and Sadie. Alec was helping me to grow better, and although the memories of Lowlii were still there, they were never tainted. Kelly was now a trusted friend, and I was sure that I could patch things up with Parker, even without Lowlii in my life.
But why didn’t I like Parker? It was obvious he liked me. He is the most popular guy on the football team, and I would be blessed to be with someone like him. But why was it that whenever the thought of kissing him entered my mind, I was revolted?
“Lowlii…” I mouthed out the name slowly. I knew that he was still alive because of the fact that I did not love anyone the same way I did him.
“She’ll be fine, we’ll just have to keep close eyes on her.” My father assured Ms. Rolands as his voice trailed away.
I stumbled out of the darkness and back into the crowded room. The lack of people dancing angered me. I wanted to dance everything away.
Almost out of instinct, I let my eyes search for Alec. He was standing near the door accompanied by Darby, Rufus, and Kelly.
“What’s wrong?” I asked while trying to figure out what feeling laminated their expression.
“That oversized football monkey.” Darby hissed, still looking through the window of the door.
Rufus seemed to carry the same tone. “Why wont you let me do anything about him, Alec. He’s obviously obsessed with her.”
“No,” Alec shook his head and turned to me. “Do you have any idea who is outside serenading you?”
I wanted to say the name, but I knew I could’ve been wrong. “Who?”
“Parker.” Darby hissed, letting his eyes stare with fire.
“What’s he doing here?” I asked Alec.
Alec rolled his eyes and managed to push everyone away from the door. “Why don’t you go outside and find out?”
Still trying to calm my nerves, I stepped outside. It was cold, as always, but there was an extra cover of anticipation that covered the night.
“Jackie.” Parker turned to me, holding two ice cream cones in his hand; he swayed from side to side. I could tell that he was trying to stay calm. “Look, I know you said that you didn’t like me the way I liked you, but…” he let his voice pause as he tried to wipe the sweat off his forehead with the back of his left hand. It even looked like he was dressed on a whim. His attire consisted of a white, and slightly tucked, shirt, gray dress pants, and a black blazer that was stained with pink ice cream.
“What are you doing here?” I asked him while stepping closer.
I could hear Darby’s disapproving groans.
“Well, I wasn’t going to forget about my date with the most beautiful girl in Port Angeles.” Parker smiled in the midst of his angst.
“Parker.” I whispered, taking one of the ice cream cones out of his hand. “What are you doing? You don’t want me, trust me.”
“Don’t tell me who to trust.” Parker let his eyebrows arch down, “besides, if anything, I trust myself enough to know that I like you. I need you.”
I tried so much to keep the tears from surfacing, but there was only so much I could do. Seeing the pain Parker was going through only caused me to endure pain myself.
“Parker.” I reached for his hand. His fingers wrapped around mine without hesitation. “You’re the kindest person in the world.” I looked up into his brown eyes with sincerity. “And not to mention craziest.”
“What?” he blinked dumbly.
“For liking me. I’m a hard person to deal with.” I sniffled, as the tears found their way down.
“So let me be crazy, because I’ll never stop liking you.” He spoke, looking down into my eyes. “No matter what you say, I’ll always like you.”
I had no choice but to feel the urge to leave. What was I supposed to tell him? I couldn’t love him because I decided to suck face with a werewolf?
“Trust me, you’re not going to miss anything.” I spoke with the slightest whisper.
He bit his lip as the sadness formed in his eyes. “ I think I’m going to be missing the world.”
“My world aint that good, anyway.” I chuckled softly, but I could tell that there was no way I would be able to live with myself if Parker walked away broken.
Lifting myself up onto my tiptoes, I let my head tilt to the side. At first, I could feel his confusion as his lips were perfectly still. After they started to move, his hands were at my hips. The way he held me, gently yet firm, reminded me of Lowlii. I knew if his hands were on me any longer, I wasn’t going to be able to walk away.
“Good Bye, Parker.” I stumbled back without another glance towards him. Coming into my dad’s bookstore again, I could see that there were more people at the door.
“Aw!” Darby groaned in agony. “All you had to do was kick him! Why did you put your lips on him?”
I stared at Darby with anger, looking through the water that was still spilling out of my eyes. “You’ll never know what it’s like!” I screamed while bursting through the crowd around us.
“Jackie?” My father’s voice called. “Where are you going?”
“I’m taking out the trash!” I screamed again, grabbing the empty pizza boxes off the food table as I headed out towards the backdoor that led to the dumpster.
After throwing the boxes violently, I allowed myself to break into tears, and wail away. The facts that I was missing a heel, and was sitting in a puddle of dirty water did not matter to me.
I just wanted to cry.
I let the emotions take over me; the anger, the destruction, the fear, the agony.
“Jackie.” I heard a voice call out to me.
“Just close the door, dad. I want to be alone.” I called back.
“Well, I’ll be sure to tell Sonny that.” The voice hummed a chuckle.
Out of annoyance, I started to sniffle. “Just leave me alone! Whoever you are!”
The absence of a door slamming shut caused me to stand up and swerve my body around with anger.
“Just go away!” I slammed my hands against the body before me in order to make it move, but the fact that the body stayed stationary caused me to stop.
I let my shaking hands land on the body once again. It wasn’t cold. In fact, it was burning hot. Without looking up, I let my hands glide against his chest. It was so familiar, and just by one touch, it caused me to be calm. I sniffled again, but this time caught a whiff of vanilla.
“Lowlii?” I gasped in a whisper, feeling the warmth come over me.
I could hear him smirk. “Isn’t it a little late for games?”