Do What It Takes to Survive

I only knew I was awake because I heard myself breathing. I was suddenly aware of something strange. I got that feeling that someone was close to me, even though I couldn’t see a thing.

Then something touched my cheek. I flinched away.

“Shhh. Don’t let them hear,” Gerard whispered so quietly I barely heard him. His face was very close.

“What do you want?” It didn’t come out as fiercely as I had hoped because of how quietly I had to speak.

“This is not the time for that,” he replied. “In case you didn’t notice, we’re being kidnapped.”

“No, really?” I whispered sarcastically.

“Just listen to me for a second.” His shoulder was now touching mine. Not only did it annoy me, but it hurt.

“Why should I?” I hissed.

“Because I said so. I know you hate me, and I hate you too.” By the tone of his voice, I knew he meant it. Why did that slightly irk me? “But we have to hate them more now. They are the enemy. If we fight, we’ll get ourselves killed.”

I frowned. “You’re probably right,” I admitted quietly. “But we might get killed anyway.”

“No,” he breathed. I felt his breath in my ear.

“How can you be so sure?”

When he spoke, his lips brushed my ear. He didn’t pull them away, and I couldn’t escape because I was trapped in the corner. “We’re going to get out of this.”

I was silent for a while. Then I turned my head away so that his lips were in the back of my black hair. “How?” I whispered.

Turning my head didn’t stop him. He followed my ear. “I don’t know yet, but I promise you, I’m going to get us out of this,” he said, his lips tickling my ear.

It set my teeth on edge. “I hope so,” I whispered back honestly. “Now, if you don’t get away from me, I will hurt you.”

He chuckled almost silently, either because he thought I couldn’t hurt him or because the idea of me hurting him was amusing, but he scooted away.

I wasn’t sure what exactly he had been trying to do, but he was right about two things. We would have to control out passionate hatred for one another, and, if the opportunity arose, we had to try to escape.

I wrinkled my nose, disgusted with myself. I was agreeing with Gerard. What kind of a sick, twisted world had the kidnapping brought us into? Not only that, but he had touched me. I shuddered. The way he had whispered into my ear had been… disturbing, at the least.

I sat quietly, but I was unable to fall back asleep. I occupied myself by singing each and every one of my songs in my head. When I was done, I started over again. This was how I counted time. I didn’t know how many hours it had been, but I had sung through all three of my band’s albums five times.

That was when the truck stopped. When the back was opened, the light coming in from outside was dimmer. It was dusk. Tattoo face and Randy, the blonde, stood outside. They handed a few paper bags to the other three men, who were watching over us.

I squeezed my eyes shut instead of rubbing them because my hands were still tied. It was hard to see, due to the fact that I had been in the dark all day. I looked over to Gerard.

He wasn’t looking at me. He was gazing longingly at the bags. I looked closer and realized they were fast food bags. My stomach rumbled audibly.

Gerard looked at me, smirking. Childishly, I stuck out my tongue. That only made him smile more. Our silent conversation was interrupted by the darkness. Randy had closed the door one again.

I listened to Ron, Mark, and Jared munch on their dinner. It was torture. I hadn’t eaten anything since the night before. I wasn’t a breakfast person.

All of a sudden I felt someone close to me again. I instinctively knew it was Gerard. “Leave me alone,” I said softly.

“Hungry?” he whispered, ignoring my command.

“Shut up,” I retorted.

“I don’t think you’d be saying that if you knew,” he said, his lips touching my ear again. I was still trapped in my corner.

I deliberated for a second before asking curiously, “If I knew what?”

“What I have,” he said vaguely.

He pulled his mouth away from my ear, and I felt relieved. Not for long, though, because he pressed his whole back against me, leaning on me. He shoved a small square of something smooth and slightly soft into my hands, which were still tied up behind my back. He moved silently away from me.

It felt like chocolate, but I thought that was impossible. I thought it was more likely that magical unicorns would come and save us than for Gerard to have given me a piece of chocolate.

I was wrong, though. I could tell it was chocolate because it was starting to melt in my warm grasp. I couldn’t bring it to my mouth because my arms were stuck behind me, so I set it on the floor and picked it up with my mouth.

I closed my eyes and enjoyed it while it lasted, because there wasn’t that much. It did ease my hunger a little bit, though.

It must have been from the chocolate bar he had bought from the store. I was baffled as to why he would give some of it to me, though. Why hadn’t he eaten the whole thing himself? That’s what I would’ve done, but I was grateful that he hadn’t.

I didn’t want to be nice, so I thanked him by whispering quietly, “Wow, thanks. A crumb.”

He was suddenly close again. “We can’t eat it all at once,” he explained. I did catch the edge in his voice, though. I guess the kindness was short lived.