So There's This Girl

So there's this girl.
And all I want is her.
I'm so in love with her.
Oh, gosh, how I'm in love with her.
The first day I met her, she asked me to marry her.
We're not married, of course.
It was a joke, of course.
But since that day, I wanted to marry her.
I never told her.
I still haven’t told her I loved her.
I think she thinks this is just another fling.
I've had lots of flings.
They used to be my favourite.
My favourite until I met her.

And now, I'm turning old.
One year 'til I can legally drink!
(Not that, ya know, I haven’t before. But shh, don’t tell anyone.)
But honestly, that's not what I want most.
I think tonight, I'm going to tell her.
I'm going to tell her I love her.
That I always have.
That I always will.
Is it strange, that I think I loved her before I knew her?
That is weird, isn't it?
But I love her so much it makes sense.
More than anything ever has.
You know how in those TV shows, people explain complicated math problems by teaching them in a way that the learner will understand?
Like, all about clothes for some idiotic preppy chick?
Well, I'm sure that if someone had used her to explain math to me, I wouldn’t have failed.
(But shh, no one knows that either.)

She brought me flowers.
And gave me a hug.
But no kiss.
She didn't look me in the eyes the whole night.
Something's wrong.
But I'm afraid to find out what.

Soon, we were back at my place.
All the guys had left.
It was just the two of us.
And soon, she was crying.
I tried to hold her close, to ask what was wrong.
But when I reached for her, she moved away.
Soon, she stood up.
She was crying so bad.
So many tears.
I was afraid.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
She didn’t move.
Her mouth stayed closed, her lips pursed.
"Please, babe, just tell me."
Instead, she ran out the door.
And out of my life.

And a year passed.
The most painful year I think had ever happened.
I drank a lot.
I'll freely admit that.
I didn’t care that I wasn’t legal.
No one did.
She would've though.
She always cared.

No one brought me flowers.
Jack and Rian and Zack took me to strip club.
Lots of booze and naked women.
It was exactly what I needed.
Anything that didn’t make me think of her.
But of course, as I sat there, everyone having fun around me, all the girls looked like her.
And it sucked.
Gah. I shouldn’t still be in love with her.
But I had said that I had always loved her.
And that I always would.
I just wish she had known.
Maybe she wouldn’t have left.

I tried calling her.
I wanted her to know.
Even if she didn’t want to be associated with me, I wanted her know I was going to be loving her forever.
But her number had changed.
I still had her best friend's number.
I called her up and begged that she tell her friend that I needed to see.
I told her to tell her that she owed me.
It was my birthday.
And it was the only thing I wanted.
She told me she'd tell her friend.
Soon, the love of my life called me.
Her voice was somber, filled with no emotion.
But I was so joyful, so in love as she told me she'd meet me at Starbucks in five.
I think I almost died right there and then.

Starbucks was warm and smelt amazing.
She took longer than five minutes.
It felt like five hours.
When she arrived, I handed her the drink I had gotten her.
"Your usual," I told her.
She didn’t take it.
"I don’t drink anything but vodka," she told me.
I was surprised; she never drank before.
I took her drink and drank it myself, even though I hated black coffee.
"So what do you want?" she asked, her voice annoyed and bored.
It hurt.
"You.
"I am in love with you, always have, always will.
"No matter what."
"But what if I don’t love you?" she asked.
"Then look me in the eyes and tell me."
I took her hands from across the table and stared into her eyes.
Not to sound corny, but her eyes were perfect.
Everything anyone could ever want – right there in her eyes.
Still no emotion in her voice, she whispered, "I love you."
I blinked a couple of times.
"What was that?" I asked.
"Louder this time," I pleaded.
"I love you," she told me.

It was at that moment I no longer cared.
I didn’t care about that horrible year.
I didn’t care why she left.
Why should I care?
She loved me.
That was all I cared about.
'Cause there's this girl.
And I kind of wanna make her mine.