With a Sweet Tooth For Revenge

I have to say that my crazy aunt was right, well about the staying single and letting the pieces fall where they may thing. Blaine came back down the next day after everything to tell me that he was stoned off his ass and that he'd forgive me but I turned him down, I don't know if anyone has ever told you this but I believe there is truth in the things we say and do when we're drunk or high. The drugs and the alcohol get rid of the decision making process which means you go after exactly what you want whether it's the right thing to do or not. So I told Blaine to just get his stuff and leave. Cassidy had called me multiple times crying and saying she was so sorry for what she did, I just let her cry and talk to my voice mail hoping she'd get the message.

With my aunt's help and a little from a shrink I was working out my problems with my mother and my life. Brendon had been sad when I told him I was giving up the drugs, he wanted to still be friends but I knew that I couldn't put myself in that position. And so far I was doing really good, I'd tried out for the lacrosse team at school and it was helping me. It was an outlet for all of the withdrawal symptoms that I had gotten during the first few weeks.

Seeing Alex at school wasn't as hard as I'd thought it would be, it still stung a little to watch him give me that sad look and walk away with out a word. I missed him, I wanted to talk to him. To tell him I was sorry and that I never meant to hurt him the way that I did. But I couldn't do it I couldn't say sorry just yet, I was still waiting for the dust to settle.

It was almost time for spring break when I first talked to Alex again, he'd stopped giving me that sad look a few months back. His band was doing really good and although I never really got to know any of the boys I was still proud of them, maybe that's because I realized a while back that even with everything I'd done it was all to get to Alex. So I decided I would finally say I was sorry and that hopefully we'd get past this and at the least be friends.

I tapped his shoulder one day in first period, "Hey." I whispered not quite sure what I was going to say. "I know that you most likely don't want to talk to me but I just wanted to say I'm so-" I was cut off when he placed a finger on my lips.

"How many times do I have to tell you that you talk to much?" He asked with that adorable smirk on his face. "And contrary to popular belief I really do want to talk to you. I miss you." He said his smirk smoothing into a beautiful smile that made me want to melt.

I returned his warm smile and quickly tied my hair up in a sloppy bun, "I miss you too. What are you doing from spring break?" I asked him. And just like that it was like we were old friends again, he invited me to come spend a week with him and a bunch of other people down at the beach in someone's parents beach house. I agreed and it was that spring break that I really fell in love for the first time.

I remember laying in the sand watching the stars with Alex beside me, he randomly leaned over me and cupped the side of my face kissing me softly. When he pulled back I smiled, "What was that for?" I asked him reaching up and playing with his hair, something I'd gotten used to doing for a while.

He just smiled back down at me, "It felt right, being with you feels right." He whispered wrapping an arm around me. There was never a point where he asked me to be his girl or anything like that Alex and I just fell into step together, like two pieces of a puzzle.

I know you all want this to be the point where I say that I lived happily ever after with Alex but it wasn't, a year from then we went in different directions. He went on tour and I went to college. It sounds so strange to me now when people ask me about that year I spent down in Maryland, I feel like I shed an entire lifetime there and I suppose I did. I don't ever miss that girl I used to be but I don't hate her either, how could I?

She was part of me.