Fracture

John returned to the table, Kyla in his arms, "I saw her awake while I was on the phone with Garrett. Thought I'd bring her out to join the conversation."

Natalie smoothed her hand gently over Kyla's head and glanced up at John, "Everything alright?"

"Yeah, Alex was just calling to approve some stuff before their final meeting," John answered her.

John was the co-founder of Golden Boy Records alongside the former bass player of the Maine, Garrett Nickelsen. They'd formed the label in their mid-20s, and after they'd had enough of touring by the time they hit their 30s, they took on full time roles at the company. After Kyla was born, John decided to work from home until she got a little older.

"Did you tell him what we're talking about?" I glanced at John.

"I think I failed to mention it," John smirked.

"He knows basically the whole back story anyhow," I shrugged.

"Forget about Garrett," Juliet rolled her eyes, "Go on with the story!"

I walked calmly away from the stage at first, but my body wanted me to move faster. I found myself jogging through the crowd, then running when the bus lot came into sight. My name was being called, but I couldn't bring myself to stop.

A hand grabbed onto mine and made the choice for me, "Jesus, Emily. Slow down!"

I spun toward the voice, not attempting to stop the tears streaming from my eyes, "I couldn't stay there!"

"He's ridiculous," Natalie shook her head, John and Kennedy jogging up to us.

"You're not a whore, Emily," Kennedy offered breathlessly, "Just for the record."

"Thanks, Kenny," I choked out.

I looked back at our bus. We were so close I could reach out and open the door. It would only take a few steps to be away from Jack and all his words. But I couldn't get away that easily, I knew it.

"Try to forget about that dumbass," Natalie hugged me tightly.

***

But I didn't think Jack was a dumbass. And I couldn't just forget about him, or what he'd said. Somehow, while feeling completely torn apart, I understood why he was so upset. I barely paid attention the next day back in the tent, because my thoughts were consumed with guilt.

Jack deserved to know. I needed to man up and tell him why I'd avoided him. I knew I needed to, but my feet ignored my mind. And from my spot under the tent, I could vaguely see an All Time Low signing going on.

"I heard about the stunt he pulled onstage," Pete told me, following my gaze.

My ex boyfriend had a smile on his face as he talked to person after person who shoved merch and various articles of fandom in front of him. He signed each one with a whisp of his hand. I'd been close enough to Jack to know that his smile was fake, and so were the laughs he offered up to the young fans in front of him.

"I don't really want to talk about it," I shook my head.

"Well if you need someone to beat him up, let me know," He smiled.

"You'd never beat Jack up," I laughed.

"I know," He grinned, "But I have friends in low places."

"You're too sweet, Pete."

I looked back at the line and my breath caught in my throat as I made eye contact with Jack. I could tell he'd been looking at me for a while, because the girl standing in front of him was desperately trying to get his attention. He snapped out of his trance as she waved her hand in front of his face.

During the couple seconds our eyes were locked his features had remained expressionless. It made my stomach turn to even imagine what thoughts were running through his head. I told Pete I was taking a bathroom break and walked to the port-a-potties.

There was a line, and I didn't even have to pee. So I took a walk instead, strolling down the aisles of merch tents and vendors, lost in thought. Before I knew it, I'd slammed into the hard chest of someone in front of me, and after profusely apologizing, I finally looked up to see the person I'd run into.

"Not a big deal, Emily," Zack smiled down at me, still holding onto my forearm to steady me.

"I should go. Thanks for not letting me fall on my ass," I told him awkwardly, trying to sidle past him, but being unable to as a crowd pushed past us.

So I stood face-to-face with Zack, clenching my jaw and trying to calm myself so the flush would leave my cheeks. The bassist in front of me didn't seem to notice, though.

"He's really upset about all of this," He told me, "Just so you know."

"Who?" I decided to play dumb.

"Jack, of course," Zack laughed.

"Yeah," I bit my lip.

"He's been a mess," He spoke again, this time without a smile on his face, "I really think you should talk to him. He hasn't been the same since... Ya know."

"I know," I nodded.

"I've got to get to our set," He smiled and patted my shoulder as he walked past me.

"Wait a minute," Juliet gave me 'stop' with her palm, "Is this the Zack who went on to form Warrior Dream?"

I raised my eyebrows, "You know who Warrior Dream is?"

"Mom, I don't live under a rock! They're still huge!" Her face had 'duh!' written all over it.

"But you didn't know what band he used to be in?" I asked.

"Never really looked to figure it out," She shrugged.

"He formed the band with Rian when Jack and Alex started focusing more on their company," John piped up, still holding a bottle in Kyla's mouth.

Juliet looked at him, "What company?"

"You've probably heard of it," Natalie nodded, "They both always had little lines with a company called Glamour Kills, but when that kind of fizzled out they decided to start their own line."

"They left a band for a t-shirt company?" Juliet looked unimpressed.

I tried to hide the fact that this was news to me. I'd mostly been kept in blissful ignorance about Jack's whereabouts after Warped Tour.

John chuckled, "It was a lot bigger than a t-shirt company. In fact, I'm pretty sure their brand is worn by celebrities."

"Ooooh, celebrities," Juliet laughed.

Natalie rolled her eyes, "I heard Alex brought his girlfriend and a few other young designers on board and it all really took off."

"So he's doing good?" I asked softly.

I felt all pairs of eyes on me, and John smiled, "Yeah, he's doing really well."

There were only a couple of nights left on Warped Tour, and I was spending this one with Garrett and Pat. Well, as much time as you could spend with two people completely entranced by the game on the television screen in front of them.

"Is this a good color?" I asked, holding up my freshly painted fingernails.

Garrett glanced over quickly, "Pink, very nice."

"That's all?" I asked sarcastically.

"Pink's not really my color," Pat grinned.

"Yeah, yeah," I rolled my eyes and blew on the polish.

Natalie and John joined us on the bus a little later, obviously happy. They'd been out at that night's party, and I could smell faint alcohol on both of them. Luckily, they weren't too tipsy, or else it would have been annoying to be in their presence.

"What's up, doll face?" Natalie asked, sitting across from me at the table.

"Just trying to look decent for the last real day of tour tomorrow," I smiled, my head tilted.

"You're beautiful enough that you don't even need to try," She grinned.

"If I didn't know you, I'd think you were trying to hit on me," I laughed.

"Luckily you do know me, and you know how much I love complimenting those I love!"

"I think you're more drunk than you'll admit," I rolled my eyes with a smile on my lips.

"I'm sober enough to know that you should go to Jack's bus to talk to him," She shrugged, "And even though you're scared off your ass, you'll really regret it if you don't."

"Get some alcohol in your system and you're fuckin' Socrates."

"I'm this intelligent all the time," Her face looked proud like a preschooler's, "You just need to listen to me more often."

And I decided for once, I would listen. I found myself sifting through the contents of my suitcase, picking out an outfit that would make me look "hot", according to Natalie. She straightened my hair to perfection and I fixed my makeup.

"Good enough to tell him my eggo is preggo?" I muttered.

"Good enough to do anything you want," She smiled, rubbing her hand over her arm before walking back to the lounge.

John and Natalie were snuggled up on the couch when I finally got the nerve to walk out, holding my phone in my sweaty hand and beginning to think it was a bad idea to wear a skirt. But Natalie had insisted that the flowy floral mini skirt worn around my waist over the loose grey tank top was absolutely what I needed to see him in.

"Maybe I should just change into my cut offs?" I asked her, stalling.

"You look amazing, Em," She insisted, "But if it would make you more comfortable, then go ahead and change."

I paused, "I don't think there's a way I'm going to feel comfortable in this situation."

"Go knock him dead, kid," John grinned.

I kept John's words in mind as I left Garrett, Pat, and the happy couple behind. I'd opted to wear my lace-up Vans, so I wasn't struggling over the gravel in the bus lot as I walked in the direction of the bus that housed All Time Low. I was extremely nervous as it suddenly came into view, and I forced myself to keep walking. This wasn't an option anymore. He needed to know, whether he wanted to be involved or not.

I reached out my hand and goosebumps ran up my arms as I touched the cool metal. A deep breath passed my lips and I pulled the door open. No one would answer if I knocked, and I didn't feel like standing outside like a jackass.

I climbed the stairs and faced the congregation in the lounge. Their eyes went wide and they glanced at one another, which I was sure was just because they were surprised to see me.

"Emily," Alex stated, his eye dancing from me to the boys around him.

"Hey," I forced a smile and stood awkwardly.

"Um, I was just going to talk to Jack," I managed to tell the audience.

No one answered me, but their expressions seemed to reflect complete panic.

"Look, if he doesn't want to talk to me, I get it," I attempted.

My eyes landed on Zack, and I tried my best to get his help. But he avoided eye contact, and I felt even more awkward. A feat I didn't believe possible. Then something happened that I would have never expected. I had to blink and nearly pinched myself to make sure I wasn't imagining things.

"Oh, Emily," Taylor's eyes landed on me as she pranced from the bunk area.

I didn't reply, but looked around at the people occupying the lounge. They didn't seem as surprised as I did.

"You look surprised," The dark-haired girl walked toward me, "It's almost kind of pathetic."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I shook my head.

"You need some help figuring this tough little equation out, don't you?" She pouted out her lip, "I just finished having sex with your newly ex boyfriend."

It felt like all the oxygen had escaped my body as I stood dumbfounded in front of the girl who seemed hell-bent on destroying my life. I willed a witty comeback to mind, but anything intelligent completely escaped me.

"Pathetic," She laughed as she walked past me.

I spun around, "No, Taylor. You want to know what's pathetic? The fact that you're so insecure and sad about your life that you can't find happiness without trying to ruin someone else's."

"Whatever," She rolled her eyes and walked down the stairs, leaving the bus.

I turned back to the gawkers behind me. Jack strolled into the lounge, pulling his shirt over his head. He was completely unaware that I was standing there.

"You guys wouldn't believe-" His eyes finally found my face, "Emily."

"Hey, Jack," I stuttered before tears sprung to my eyes.

He stood wordlessly, finally moving to pull his shirt down the rest of the way to cover his torso. His hand ran over his hair and he opened and closed his mouth a few times, like he was going to say something. I felt myself panic when Jack took a step toward me.

"Don't," I said firmly before walking off the bus.