Fracture

"When did you find out if I was going to be a boy or girl?" Juliet asked.

I paused to think for a second, "At first I didn't want to know what sex you were going to be. But then I decided I had enough about your future already up in the air, so I wanted to pick a name before I was laying all drugged up in a hospital room."

"What were you going to name me if I was a boy?"

"I think I was contemplating Luke or Sloane."

"Weird names," Juliet laughed.

I smirked, "Just be glad you're not a boy, then."

"Why'd you choose to name me Juliet?"

I blushed and looked at my daughter's face, "I guess for a while I thought mine and Jack's story was something like Romeo and Juliet. But to be honest, no one kept us apart but each other."

"I brought the new Cosmo!" Natalie announced as she burst into my bedroom.

She was on winter break from college and had been spending nearly every minute at my house. Natalie sat on my bed and opened the magazine, beginning to read facts from the beauty section.

She turned to me, "Ya know, we could do the all-natural treatments on your hair. Then the baby won't be harmed or anything."

"I don't want raw egg in my hair," I scrunched my small nose.

"Don't be dumb, it's really not that bad," Natalie shrugged. "As long as you don't rinse the egg out with hot water, of course."

We spent the afternoon laughing in my bedroom, my mom bringing us lunch. Natalie couldn't stand being so carefree for so long, though. The conversation quickly turned to John and the distance. I tried to console her the best I could. She knew I'd gone to see them when they'd rolled into our state, but her busy schedule hadn't allowed her to take even the night off.

"He really misses you, Nat," I smiled at her softly. I didn't think I could say the same for the boy who I'd met the previous summer.

"Emily, I have something to tell you, but you can't get mad at me," She pursed her lips and looked at me.

"Go for it," I shrugged. "But you're kind of freaking me out with the seriousness you've got going on."

"Well I know there's potential for you to get upset, and that's the last thing I want."

"I know, honey," I laughed. "Please just tell me."

"Alright," She took a deep breath. "John said that Jack started dating some new chick. I guess she's some slutty groupie that he met on a tour date."

I bit my lip, "How'd he find out?"

"Alex and John still talk. John said he mentioned it one night through a text. Alex said no one in the band really approves..."

I pushed myself off the bed, "Yeah, because that really makes it better!"

"Em, I knew I shouldn't have told you," Natalie stood and walked toward me.

"No, I'm glad I heard it from you instead of anyone else."

I ran my hand over my stomach and looked out the window. An older woman from down the street was walking her big dog. The black animal was nearly dragging her small body down the sidewalk. I tore my eyes away and walked to my dresser.

"You know he's just trying to get back at you," Natalie shrugged.

I smirked, "I'd like to think that was the reason. But maybe he never cared for me all that much to begin with."

"Don't start that bullshit," She practically scolded me. "You know that's not true at all."

"It's hard to remember the good times when it all ended like this," I looked down at my stomach.

"If there's one good thing Jack did, it was give you the chance to be the prettiest mother ever," Natalie smiled at me. "And I'm willing to put all my money on that baby of yours being even more beautiful."

"They're going to have a lot to deal with," I adjusted my gray v-neck and pulled my black skinny jeans up the best I could.

"But they're being born into the best family ever," She shrugged.

I thought for a second and pulled my hair up into a ponytail, "They will, won't they?"

Natalie smiled and hugged me tight, "There's never going to be a doubt in my mind."

***

"I've been thinking about calling Jack," I told my mother over dinner that night.

She looked up at me, surprised, "Oh, really?"

I nodded and looked down at the bowl of tomato soup in front of me. I had only taken a few bites of the grilled cheese my mother had so carefully made for me that evening. She'd even listened to my latest cravings and put pickle and cream cheese with the cheddar cheese. She really went out o her way to make me feel extra comfortable. My father was staying late at work, trying to pick up some more hours before the baby was born.

"You only have about 2 months before the baby is born," She said softly.

I looked out the window at the January snow, "Yeah. I've just been thinking about him a lot lately. I didn't really give him the right choice in the whole thing."

"If you think it would be best," She smiled softly and looked into my eyes. "It's your choice, though."

"I know," I told her.

She breathed in, "Have you decided on a name yet?"

I glanced out again at the falling snow, then turned definitely toward her, "Juliet."

"Juliet Reed?" My mother smiled and nodded.

"Juliet Ameera Reed, I think."

"That's beautiful, sweetie," She reached across the table and grabbed my hand.

"Would I be able to use Jack's last name?" I asked.

"I don't know, sweetie," She bit her lip, just like I always did. "If Jack gets involved, then I'm sure he'll want to. If he isn't, then I don't know what the laws are like."

"I'll look into it," I shrugged and turned back to my soup.

"How's your schoolwork coming?" She asked after a little while.

"It's fine. I'll probably be done by next month."

I was taking college courses online and I was sure I'd be done with my first two semesters in the next coupe of weeks. I'd been making so much progress, I couldn't imagine not being able to finish before the baby got here. After she was born, I knew it would only be harder to do any work.

"You have an appointment tomorrow at about eleven," My mom told me a few minutes later.

"I know," I smiled, "I'm always looking forward to seeing her on the ultrasound."

"I remember when I first saw you," She smiled at the memory. "Of course the technology today is about a billion times better, but it was just as amazing."

I looked at my mother lovingly. She was so strong, so understanding. She loved me more than I had ever imagined, and I always felt somewhat guilty when it came to how much she did for me. But she was always insisting that if she didn't want to do it, she wouldn't. Somehow, I still didn't feel completely guilt-free.

***

I sighed into my cell phone, "I'm not sure if I want to anymore."

"What do you mean?" Natalie asked, and I could tell she was rolling her eyes. "Seriously like yesterday you were saying you wanted to."

"Because the baby is due in less than a month and it'll just be too weird to tell him, 'Hey! You're a daddy in... oh yeah, 3 weeks!' No, that'll freak him out."

"He should've reined those hormones and male urges in all those months ago, then!"

"Oh, please," I rolled my blue eyes. "It takes two to tango!"

"I've already scolded you enough," She said simply.

I sighed, "I should call him... But could you get me his number?"

"Yes," She told me shortly. "I'll text John right now."

"I thought him and Jack didn't talk anymore?"

"They don't. But he talks to Alex and Jack is Alex's best friend," I could hear her keyboard clacking away. "Okay, I texted him."

"You're the best Nat," I smiled.

"Don't tell me that so soon," She laughed.

I could hear her clicking away again, and she was soon telling me that John was going to call Alex. Nerves shot through my body. After telling Natalie, and having her involve John, I didn't feel like I had an option to go back on this decision.

"You ready for his number?" She asked a few minutes later.

"Ready as I'll ever be," I shrugged, and pulled out a pen.

I scrawled the number on the back of a receipt. It was so permanent, written with black ink. I stared at for an hour before even thinking about picking up my phone to dial it. Natalie sent me a text asking if I'd called yet, and it pushed me into gear. As soon as the phone started ringing, the butterflies exploded in my stomach.

"Hello?" My head spun as a female voice asked sharply.

I paused and they asked again, even ruder than before, "HELLO?"

I took a breath, "Hi. Um, is Jack there?"

"Who the fuck is this?" The voice asked again.

"I'm.. um.. is this not his number?" I stuttered.

"Yeah this is his fucking number, but I'm his girlfriend and other girls shouldn't be calling whenever they feel like it!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, it's just..." My throat was dry and I couldn't think of anything to say.

"So next time if you feel like being a little whore and calling my boyfriend, don't!"

"Angie, why do you have my phone?" I swore I heard Jack's voice in the background.

"Someone was calling and I figured I'd just pick it up," Her voice told him innocently. Such a difference from how she'd talked to me.

"I thought we talked about that," He told her, and I could tell he was frustrated. My eyes started tearing up.

"I didn't think it was a big deal," His girlfriend told him, still obviously holding the phone.

"Just give me my phone," There was some shuffling and I could tell she was finally handing it over.

I didn't expect him to actually say anything, so my heart nearly stopped when I heard his voice, even clearer, "Hello?"

My voice cracked as I answered him, "Hi..."

"Can I ask who this is?" His voice was calm and I longed to see him right in front of me.

"It's not a big deal," I managed to say. "I shouldn't have called."

"It's fine. But just let me know who's calling?"

"I'll just let you go," My throat was tight and tears were in my eyes.

"Just..." His voice trailed off. "Is this... Never mind."

"I'm sorry," I told him, and hit the end button.

I sobbed into my pillow and called Natalie after I felt semi-composed. She let me cry some more before promising to make it down for the weekend, even though I knew she'd have to cancel a few obligations. Natalie would be the one to mend my broken heart. Or at least try. I knew it wouldn't be healed or a long time, and even then it would be scarred for life.

"I remember that day," Natalie nodded, sadness dancing across her beautiful eyes.

"You were with me as soon as you could be," I smiled and grabbed her hand across the table.

John shook his head, "I shouldn't have gotten his number for you."

He looked lovingly down at Kyla, cooing and playing with his daughter.

"Don't even try to blame yourself, John," I shook my head.

He sighed and looked up at me, "I just feel like I should've done more for you. More than telling Jack he was a douchebag when I saw him the day we left. I should've kicked his ass."

I let out a light laugh, "It wouldn't have been worth it."

"I think you should've done it!" Juliet said definitely.