Wilted and Faded

I woke up to a pounding headache and raised voices. Running a hand over my face I suddenly remembered my stitches and winced as my fingers brushed against them. Blinking slowly I pushed myself up off the bed and wandered out of the room.

Stopping just outside the living room doorway I saw Johnny and Louisa yelling at each other, the scrapbook Louisa had given me yesterday in Johnny’s hand.

“Did you think that this would help? ‘Here’s your life and by the way I think you’ve fucked it all up?’ Just because we’re not all as squeaky clean as you with your perfect little life doesn’t automatically mean that everyone else is a fucking failure!” Johnny was waving his hands, and the book, around.

Louisa stood with her hands on her hips, “I might have known you would be taking her side. You’re not exactly a fair judge of what is the right and wrong way to live! You think you can just swan up here and save the day. Where have you been the last three years? San Diego? Great help that’s been. I’m the only one who’s had to sit here and watch her destroy her life and disgrace this family!”

I blinked slowly, leaning against the wall for support and tried to take in what was being said.

“You think Ruby disgraces this family? There is no family to disgrace, Louisa. Take a look around. When have we ever been a family? I know I’ve not been here as much as I should have been, alright? You don’t need to rub it in,” he sighed and sat down on the sofa, tossing the scrapbook on to the coffee table.

My heart broke a little bit more when I saw the look on his face. I could deal with Louisa thinking what she did about me but not Johnny. He was my big brother, the guy I looked up to, I didn’t want him to think I was a fuck up too.

Louisa shook her head and stood in front of him, “What could you have done? She obviously hit the self destruct button and all we could do was stand back and watch.”

Johnny frowned and looked at her, “What could we have done? We could’ve stepped in before she ended up in a car wreck that killed her best friend!”

“I tried to do that Johnny and look what happened. I tol-”

He cut her off, “No Louisa. What you did is push her over the edge. You just made it ten times worse! Some sort of intervention could’ve made sure that none of this would’ve happened.”

“It didn’t work for you,” Louisa spat.

Johnny shook his head, “I wondered how long it would take for you to bring that up. This is a totally different situation and you know it.”

“What? There’s a plausible explanation for Ruby’s behaviour and she wasn’t just doing it for the hell of it like you? She was just crying out for more attention?” Louisa scoffed.

“Yeah, there’s an explanation for her behaviour. She had to watch her mother die when she was fifteen then was shipped over to the other side of the world to live with a family she never knew and they never made the effort to get to know her. And now her best friend is dead and you’re here to what, shove it in her face? Tell her that you were right?”

“Stop it, just stop it!” I cried, finally making my presence known.

Johnny whirled around the face me, his expression softening, “Ruby, I’m sorry,” he wrapped his muscular arms around me and pulled me against him as I dissolved into a sobbing mess.

“I’m leaving you two drunks to it.”

I clung to the front of Johnny’s shirt and cried all the tears that should have been cried a long time ago as Louisa stalked past us and out the apartment door.

“It’s alright Red. Everything’s going to be okay.”

I only hoped he was right.