Wilted and Faded

I had successfully managed to avoid Johnny for the rest of the day after our fight. Wandering into the bedroom I was staying in I dumped the contents of my bag onto the bed, figuring if I was going to be staying a while I couldn’t continue to live out of a packed bag.

I had left L.A. pretty quickly and as a result my ‘packing’ was more like ‘stuff whatever you can grab into the largest bag you can find’.

I looked down at the array of random band shirts, many of which had belonged to Chris, and a couple of pairs of jeans that were strewn across the cream comforter. Accompanying them were numerous pairs of boyshorts in various designs, a couple of tank tops, some make-up and jewellery.

In the middle of the mess was my Sidekick. I gingerly reached over and picked it up, having been switched off since the night of the accident I knew I’d have many messages that I didn’t necessarily want to hear or reply to.

There was a knock at the already open door and I whirled round, the small plastic device still clutched in my hand.

“Can I come in?” Johnny asked sheepishly, his hands stuffed in the front pockets of his jeans.

I shrugged and turned back around to the mess on the bed, “It’s your house.” I knew I was being a bitch but I couldn’t help it.

“I’m sorry I accused you of drinking, Frank told me they were his bottles.”

“I’m not mad that you accused me of drinking,” I sighed as I fidgeted with a worn out Smiths shirt, “I’m mad that you don’t trust me.”

“I do trust you Rube, it’s just that,” he ran a hand through his short hair, “it’s just that people trying to get sober don’t just stop drinking and never touch the stuff again. There’s always a relapse and I guess I just thought that last night was yours.”

“Well, in case you haven’t noticed I’m not the same as ‘people’. I said I’m not drinking anymore so I’m not. Simple as that.”

He perched on the bed and I saw a smile tug at the edge of his lips, “You are definitely not the same as everyone else Ruby. But don’t be surprised if you feel the urge to have a drink now and then.”

I sat down beside him, “You don’t get it Johnny, drinking for me wasn’t an escape, it was just,” I shrugged, “routine. It was the done thing. You go out, get drunk and your picture is in all the tabloids in the morning. That’s just the way the scene worked.”

“So now you’re out of the scene you don’t need to drink?” he asked, looking over at me.

I nodded, “Yup.”

We sat in silence, neither of us wanting to mention the real reason for my change.

I sighed, finally working up the courage, “When your best friend gets killed by a drunk driver it kinda makes you want to stop too.”

“Kind of ironic huh?”

“I hate irony.”

He wrapped his arm around my middle and pulled me closer, “You’re gonna be okay kid. You’re pretty much the strongest person I know,” he looked down at the Sidekick in my hand, “You gonna switch it on?”

I looked down at the offending article, “I really don’t want to,” I whined like a little kid.

“You have to face the real world sometime soon.”

“Fancy doing it for me?” I asked hopefully.

“No way,” he scoffed, “I’ll leave you to it.”

“Thanks Johnny,” I said as he stood up, “For everything.”

“You’re my little sister, I’m supposed to get you out of trouble,” he smiled as he walked out the door.

Sighing I turned to the Sidekick, “Real world here I come.”

I squeezed my eyes shut and turned it on.

‘376 new messages’

I grimaced as I put the phone to my ear and lay back in the jumble that was my life and listened.

Messages from Lauren, Jessica, Audrey, Hanna, Ali, Brody, Heather, Alex, Travis and other ‘friends’ went in one ear and out the other. I was almost asleep when I heard the tearful voice that made me sit up straight.

“Ruby it’s Mrs Baker. I’d appreciate it if you could call me back, please. I really need to speak to you.”