This Side of Fantasy

Edward had to do some things last night to get ready for their hunting trip this weekend so I'd had a terrible time sleeping alone, but it had given me the time I needed to think through everything. We had been together for a good three months now, and I knew I loved him with every fiber of my being.

He wanted me to stay at his house while he was gone, something about it being safer or something. I'd agreed, though now that I'd thought on everything in my head, I wished I'd hadn't.

Shaking my head I grabbed my bag and headed down stairs, dad was already at work. Edward sat at the kitchen table, one of my books in his hand. "Morning," he said as he sat 'Pride and Prejudice' to the side.

"Morning," I smiled warily, I wasn't sure if Alice had been paying attention to my future lately. I nibbled on an apple, leaning against the counter as I memorized his beautiful face.

"Why do I feel like you're going to disappear?" he asked, suddenly standing in front of me. His hands were on my hips, just as any boyfriend would do.

"That's just silly. You're the one who's going away," I choked out with a small smile.

"Is it? Well then," he smirked, tossing my apple to the trash can.

"Hey, what if I wasn't done with that?" I asked, though instead of being angry, I placed my arms around his shoulders.

"I think you were," he murmured, gently placing his lips to mine. "Were you not?"

"Done with the apple yes, you no," I whispered, standing on my tip toes to place my lips back to his. If I followed through my plans, this was going to hurt him so much, but he'd live.

"We have to get to school," he said as he pulled away and grabbed my hand to tow me to his car.

"Blah school again," I muttered.

The day had went slowly, and I'd managed to think only of blackness all day to prevent Alice from knowing what I was going to do later on. Though I did wish I'd drove my car, it'd be a big help to me later.

Edward met me at the door of my fifth period class, "You ready?" he asked.

"You go on to the car, I'll meet you there, I want to go get a muffin." He rolled his eyes and chuckled, but went down the stairs to the doors. I wasn't really getting a muffin, walking in I found Jessica and Angela at a table with Mike and Eric. "Hey guys."

They looked up at me in shock. "Hey Lily," Eric said.

"I just wanted to say bye."

"Oh, are you skipping?" Mike asked.

"Yeah," wasn't a total lie, I told myself.

"Well OK. We'll see you later." Angela said.

"Yeah," that part was a lie.

"Bye Lily," they said as I turned to walk away. This was a finale good bye. I plastered on a smile, so not to make Edward worried.

"Where's the muffin?" he questioned, when I got in

"Shoot, forgot it, Angela wanted to chat," I lied.

"You want me to go get you one?"

"Naw, I'll be fine."

The rest of the ride to his house was silent, and I hated it, but I couldn't think of anything to say. He helped me out when we pulled into his garage, and laced our fingers as we walked into the house. Alice and Jasper were talking on the stairs, Rose was sitting on Emmett's lap in the sitting room, Carlisle and Esme were standing in the door way, ready to leave.

"Hello Lily," Esme greeted, pulling me into a hug.

"Esme," I smiled.

"Well, keep the house down," Carlisle laughed before he and Esme left, Emmett and Rose followed them.

Alice threw her small arms around me in a tight hug, that led me to believe maybe she knew something was up. "I'll see you tomorrow," she said cheerily, before racing Jasper out the door.

"I'll miss you," I muttered, turning to Edward.

"You don't even know," he whispered.

"Edward, I... I love you," I said for the first time ever.

He smiled happily, "I love you too Lily," he said before drawing me into one of his more dizzying kisses. "Be back soon," he said before pulling completely away.

"Goodbye Edward," I whispered, biting back tears. This was our informal goodbye. We would get no other chance. He gracefully waltz to the door where he waved sadly, and disappeared from my eyes. I don't know how long I stood in that spot, starring at the door, tears streaking my cheeks like rivers. It could have been minutes, it could have been an hour.

Snap out of it and move! I scolded myself. Wiping back the tears, I took a deep breath to see if my breaking heart could work, before I was running to the garage. It was bad enough to leave, but to have to steal something of theirs, even for a few minutes was pitiful. I didn't want to take Edward's car, I wouldn't make it down the drive way with out tears, though I did grab my bag and sling it n my back. Carlisle's car, was out. Emmett's and Rose's were definitely out. So was Alice's little Porsche. I was stuck, until I spotted the tarp covering something in the back corner.

I was careful not to break anything as I pulled off the tarp and placed it carefully on the ground. There, in front of me, stood a very fast looking motorcycle. I didn't know much about motorcycles, but I did know how to ride one. Hitting the garage button, I started it, enjoying the roar, before I raced down the winding drive, much to fast, but not fast enough. If Alice was watching, she'd see that I was going to visit Dale and make him dinner. I was great at lying, even to myself.

It took me about fifteen minutes to get to our house. I still felt it wasn't fast enough. I was glad to see Dale was home early for once, and raced into the house. My bags, two of them, were pack and waiting, I grabbed them and sat them by the door, before racing to the motorcycle and placing the letter to Edward and the letter to Alice in the bag on the side.

Dad was at the door when I walked back in. "Liliana, what's going on?" he asked, seeing the tears streaking my cheeks.

"Dad, I can't do this anymore, I can't pretend. I graduated high school last year dad, while you were off doing God knows what, I was living my life! You can't just waltz right back in and think I'd be OK with it. I love you, but I have to go. I have to get out!" I hated to hurt him, and lie, but it was better for Edward if I left.

I could never be good enough for him, he deserved so much more than I could give. That fact had been haunting me for months. I loved him, so I had to set him free.

"I'm sorry, don't do this please. Lily I just got you back, I don't want to lose you again," Dale pleaded as I grabbed my bags.

"I have to Dale. I love you, please, tell Edward I'm sorry about the bike and to look in the bag," I choked out before running down the steps to my car, sitting in the drive way. I threw my bags in the back seat, hopped in the front, and raced down the road, not daring to look back.