Beyond Belief

The sky was beginning to darken as another day came to a close. Many people had died today, so I did not get to watch Frank until it was late and he was alone. He held his head in his hands and he looked happy, he looked content. Then, all of a sudden, his eyes flew open and he looked shocked, then confused, then something else that I couldn’t name. I didn’t understand why. I wished I could hear his thoughts. I noticed this fire in his eyes as he stood up and began closing up. He walked out the front door and turned to lock it. He quickly glanced in my direction, then back at the door, twisting the key, locking it securely. He dropped the keys in his front jean pocket and kept his hand in there, while his other hand fisted the bottom of his tee shirt.

He took several deep breathes, then turned towards me. He stepped off the curb and began crossing the street in my direction. I stood by a bench in the miniscule park across the street, about twelve feet away from him. My eyes locked with his.

“You!” he called out to me as he approached my statuesque figure.

“Yes?” I said, staring into his eyes, not knowing what to do.

“Why?” he asked once he was about a foot or so away from me.

“Why?” I echoed, not knowing what he was asking.

“Why are you here again when I clearly told you to fuck off?” he asked, eyeing me up. I swallowed dryly, my lungs felt like they were collapsing and the acids in my stomach felt as if they were burning holes through my organs. I didn’t know how to answer him. I knew if I were to say nothing he would be upset, but my mind went blank, as if it were wiped clean.

“I, I, um,” I stumbled, looking at my hands instead of him. He was the only one who could reduce me to such a state.

He stared at me, one eyebrow raised, hand on his hip in an impatient manner.

“Are you stupid or something?! Answer my fucking question!” he yelled.

I went silent, my eyes avoiding his.

He let out a frustrated sigh, massaging his temples with his finger tips “Look, I officially don’t give a flying fuck. Just do me a favor and promise not to kill me in my sleep, okay?”

I nodded.

“Good. Now stop being such a freak. If you’re going to stare at me at least don’t be so suspicious. Go into the goddamned shop once in a while, buy something. Do something. Anything. Just don‘t stand here all day, it creeps me out.”

I nodded again, it seemed the right thing to do.

“You’re fucking weird, you know that?” he said, his eyes narrowed.

I averted my eyes towards the ground, I didn’t know how to respond to that. I wondered if I should agree or maybe just nod once more, but none of the options I thought of seemed right.

He sighed once more, “I’m tired of this shit, I’m going home.” he said, running a hand threw his hair.

He swiftly turned around and began his journey to his apartment.

I watched his retreating form disappear, then I sat down on the bench. I really wanted to follow him so I could watch him some more, but I suppressed the urge to. I didn’t want him to spot me on his windowsill and be even more upset with me. So I began my very long night of waiting on the very uncomfortable bench until my beloved returned.