Hate, Love, and Sex Appeal

I abruptly gazed up a questioning force darting out of my eyes.

“Well…it’s kind of complicated and we might get caught.”
A smirk threatened to sneak its body onto my faded cherry lips. I remained quiet silently, beckoning him to continue before the suspense drove me entirely out of my mind. He slowly looked down and softly stared back.
“I’m not going to tell you…if that’s what you’re waiting for.”
He smugly jeered as his little white teeth sparkled with the silvery glint of moonlight that lit up a fraction of his face.
“Aw, don’t do that.” I whined, severely in debt of an answer.
“I’m not gonna tell you cause it kinda happens naturally.”

Curiosity bore down and burrowed itself into my every minuscule crease and crevice that was available. He knew exactly how to keep me on the edge of the seat, constantly waiting. It was almost as if he knew I’d wait so he’d push the boundaries to see what waters he could tread in without wholly sinking. He had always done that. He would always make me want to say something to argue back with whatever he had said. I was guilty of that action as well. Was it attention that needed to be sought? Or had it been done out of self-satisfaction? What happened just naturally? Wait…was he…no…would he?

“Are…wait…how naturally are we…uh speaking?” I stuttered out a bit more nervously then I had intended, curiosity laced with every syllable.
“Just…oh you thought…oh no, not that kind of natural, if that’s what you were insinuating. It’s the first date, I’m not that perverted. Besides…who the fuck plans stuff like that?”
My distressed lungs let out a sigh of sheer relief followed by a small giggle.
“I dunno. Ironic, though, how you used the word fuck. You just made it seem like that. Well, why can’t you tell me?”
“Because I don’t want to.” He replied nonchalantly, his roaming eyes finally resting on my figure.

“You know, you really do have the face of a porcelain doll, Bri.”
“Those things kind of creep me out.” I admitted in somewhat of a shy tone.

It’s true, though. Their buggy wide eyes never blinked, they just continued to stare at nothing in particular, completely lifeless doll, just staring. It was almost like they were too beautiful. Their perfectly plump cheeks hinted with a brisk pink, cherry bomb lips perfectly shaped. Their phony skin had such an ideal tone. Their thick mascara ridden eyelashes hung high over intensely shaded life-like-yet-life-less eyes. Too perfect, too beautiful, close to the point of scary.
“Why?” He laughed out, laughing at my childish remark.

A brisk wind wavered past us. It’s little fingers raising every little hair, making them stand up on end, goose bumps littered my skin. There was a nippiness that smothered the area and my skin was exposed to the gentle killer ice chill. The tantalizing warmth from his hand was comforting.
“I d-dunno. I guess that they were just too perfect. Besides-s that they just like stare at you. It’s f-freaky.” My teeth chattered as I stuttered my answer.
“Are you cold?”
There was sincerity dripping from his voice. I shook my head slightly and replied, “No.”
“So, you know, shivering is something you do on a regular basis? Here.”

He gently removed his sweatshirt and draped it over my slender shoulders despite my hesitations. The soft warmness of his body still lingered in the stitches of his sweatshirt as it collided with my icy skin; goose bumps doubled and my stomach fluttered something violent.
I smiled as I tugged the insulation of a sweatshirt closer to me.
“Thanks.”
He nodded his head as he glanced down at our slightly swinging intertwined hands.
“Why can’t I know?” I whined, exaggerating every word, saying it through my nose like a meddlesome little brat.
“Because.” He mimicked in the same childish tone, smirking as he scrunched up his nose.
“Please?” I tempted, hoping he’d bite the bait.
“That’s a start. I don’t have to threaten you to be nice.” He replied as he silently giggled, fully knowing this was torturing me.
But, see, I was never one to give up. I was as stubborn as hell, believe it or not. I had to argue until I had the last say. Frankie taught me well. Giving up easily…where’s the fun in that? The only problem was that Gerard had always been the same way. He had always been the one to challenge me and push my limits.
“Pretty please?” I taunted him a bit.
“Oh, very cute.” He joked as he peered down into my desperate eyes.

I never quite put into detail the amount of intensity that his eyes were able to beam out. I never realized how pretty they were when they glinted and sparkled like a small pint of shimmery glitter. Especially when the light hit them at just the right moment. I was kind of jealous, to be honest. My eyes could never reach such a height.
My dry lips fell outwards into a sad puppy dog pout and my eyebrows forced themselves upward.
“Not the face.” He smiled with all his white teeth as he pleaded.
“How’d you the face?”
His cheeks were dusted pink and his moving lips looked so inviting.
“I’ve seen you it to Mikes and Frankie all the time. But I’m not as soft as that, Doll face.” He laughed.
“Not even if I say please? Come on, it’s me.”
“Not even if you say please.” He repeated in a taunting voice.
“Not even if I gave you the face?”
“Not even.”
“Not even if I kissed you?”
“No, not…wait, wh--”
“Not even? Oh fine.”
“No but I didn’t answer!” He argued.
“You said ‘no’ very bluntly. I heard it come out of your mouth.” I said as I smirked at his break down in consistency.
“Re-do, that wasn’t my answer, I was just testin’ ya.”
I laughed out as he sputtered excuses from those lips of his. Does he want it so badly?
“Oh, come on, not fair. You tricked me.”
“Well, whose fault is that?”
“Yours for being too damn good with words.”
“Still not my fault. See, if you would have told me…”

He rolled his eyes and sighed, he wasn’t one to give up so easily. Not the Gerard I know, anyway. He always had to have it his way because if it wasn’t, he wasn’t satisfied until it was.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you’re still short of an answer, hun.” He snickered through a grin.
“Ah, but you’re still short of a kiss.” I smirked as I took up his gradually slipping challenge.
“True.” He sighed again as he allowed himself to put his mind into deep concentration, trying to outsmart my wit.
“But I brought you to dinner and a movie…that’s actually really cliché, now that I’m thinking…” He replied as his hazel orbs gazed at the glittery night sky.
“No guilt trips, that’s cheating and we’re the most original cliché if there ever was one.”
I contently watched as my left foot glided in front of my right and as the right came back around.
“Yeah, that’s true and everything’s fair game.”

His quiet smirk was washing away at my sanity. He squeezed my hand gently as wisps of wind tugged at our skin. My hazel eyes slid up towards his face. We were walking at a slower place then I was used to but I didn’t mind.
“You weren’t gunna tell me what you had in mind even if I did keep up my end of the bargain, were ya?”
A giggle erupted from the back of his throat.
“Cheater! See, that’s how well I know you, Gerard.”
I accused while playfully shoving him. The black abyss held twinkling clumps of light way above us, making me feel even smaller then I already was. I pulled at his hand to make him walk slower. I let myself up on my tip toes and pressed my lips to his soft cheek.

“Well, you did bring me to a cheesy movie and dinner, so I guess you deserve it.”

"I'm still not telling, you know."
"As if I didn't know you better."
He absentmindedly swung our hands back and forth.
"What would you do if say...you were locked out of the house?" He asked curiously.
"Uh...I'd of brought a key with me."
"No, you didn't bring a key."

I squinted my eyes. "Are you trying to say you locked us out of the house but in a more intelligent way?"
"No, I'm just curious if you'd come up with a good alternative."
I thought vigorously for a moment or two before considering an answer.
"I'd sleep on the beach, I guess, Wait, you mean here or at home?"
"Here, but you'd do it?"
"Do what?"
"Sleep on the beach?"
"Yeah, I mean, what else would I do. Of course, there always the potential of being raped and being left for dead due to the stupidity of not bringing a key. But, yeah, I guess I would."
"You wont get raped I promise."
"Wait, what?"

Putting two and two together had never exactly come easily to me. It took my brain a few minutes to process what had been said to me.

"I promised that I wouldn't let you get raped."
"Wait, but, hold on. We're sleeping down at the beach?"
"Yeah, but it'll be worth it."
"Why can't you tell me?" I asked, humorously angered.
"I swear it'll be worth it. Trust me. Have I gained that right yet?"

Trust me. Could I? Honestly, would I be able to allow myself to do it? Or would the strong force of the self-consciousness within me instantly take over and make me hostile? Only one way to find out.

We trudged down to the sandy shores and the salty air mixed within the slight breeze that had given life to the surroundings all around. I hadn't yet responded to his question, which buzzed around my head like a thoroughly pissed off bumble-bee. Five minutes later I chose a word to respond with.

"Maybe."

Truth. Honesty. Honestly, he had grown to deserve a bit.

His smile had finally attached to me. So there was a day where I’d be able to stand it. Never thought that day would be present within my life span, to tell you the truth.
He had turned his head but I had seen his quick to grow smile. Cute couldn’t even begin to describe it either.

“Would you walk in the water with me?”
I had always wanted to walk at the shore where the thunderous waves crashed down in the first couple of meters and then the remains would rush up onto the shape shifting sand in purely white foam and eat away at the numerous layers of gritty sand. I’ve never done it due to the fear of looking like a complete loser doing it by myself.
Instead of answering with words, he gripped my hand a bit tighter and guided me down to the water as a grin lit up my face. I released from his grip long enough to lightly tug the jet black slippers off of my dainty little feet to show the remains of staining red nail polished toes. He had his gray and red socks stashed away in his shoes which he held in one hand. He tenderly re-gripped my tiny hand in his larger one.
We hadn’t said one word but the silence wasn’t awkward, not at all. This was definitely a first. Every silence with me was awkward and usually held signs of unsaid words and regrets held smug and heavy around the air and strangled whoever was there until something had been spoken. Not now.
The frosty water glided under and all around my feet. I watched as both sets of feet were eaten up by the sand and then slowly rubbed away by water, never permanent and never there forever. No destination in mind, at least not to my knowledge. Come to think, I had no idea where we were going. But I didn’t want to ruin what was lingering over the both of us, not now.
I released his hand momentarily and curled my arm around his and recaptured his hand in mine, fingers laced, now both arm and hand entangled within each other. With each step I took, my toes coiled at the touch of the sand.

Why did this feel so right?
I never would have pictured this happening. Even if I did, I didn’t think the emotions coursing through my veins would ever race around me. Was this suppose to happen? Because it felt like it was.

After a good ten minutes, I decided to be the one to shatter the silence.
“So, where are we going?” I whispered.
“Um, actually, we’re just about there.”
I looked up from our feet at the view of the pier closing in. The pier, remind you, was on a board walk.
“We’re sleeping at the pier?”
“No…under it.”

We neared the underside of the sturdy boardwalk and I become aware of a small duffle bag hidden within a small dug out hole of sand.
I smiled. “Did you plan this?”
“All by myself.”
I couldn’t help but let my grin grow.
“Won’t we get in trouble? I mean…we aren’t going back to the house. What if--”
“We won’t, I think…But, I mean, if you don’t want to see--”
“No! I do. It’s just that we might get in trouble. That’s all.”
There was a glint from beneath his hair appearing from his wide eyes.
“Scared?”
I cocked my head to the side as I smirked, “Yeah right.”
“Good. I brought clothes for you so you can change if you wanted.”
“What if I had said no?”
He released my hand and strutted over the duffel bag and started to unzip the main layer.
“What d’you mean?”
“I mean if I had said no, that I didn’t want to do it? What would you have done about the bag?” I questioned intently.
“I really had no intention of you saying no.”
“Ooh someone’s cocky.”
He smirked as he looked up briefly from rummaging through the bag.
“No, it’s just I didn’t really think about that. If I had told you what we were doing then you wouldn’t have been so curious. Cause you just can’t help it. I didn’t tell you cause I knew you’d be interested in what I hadn’t told you. Reverse psychology. Works every time with you.”
“But--ah-I…uh.”
I stuttered with my mouth wide open, blinking my eyes more then necessary, shaking my head slightly.
“Speechless?”
I clamped my lips together and scrunched my nose up and tried to hide an embarrassed grin.
“Embarrassed?”
I avoided his glance. How could he read me through so well? I heard him muffle up a laugh.
“It’s cute that you fall for it, don’t be embarrassed. Even though seeing you blush is a first.”
“Shut up.” I said jokingly as I beamed.
All he did was giggle and continue to search through the bag. He tossed my a bundle of warm clothes.
“You wanna get changed?”
I nodded my head because speechlessness still had a strong grip on my vocal chords.
Boxers and tank top. I started to change and a little nagging feeling pitted my stomach. That feeling that prickles your brain and feels like little needles are trying to emerge out of the utmost layer of skin. It felt like someone was watching.
I turned my head to find Gerard’s eyes connect with me from where he was sitting already in boxers and a shadowy black sweatshirt and boxers. He blinked before looking down at his toes with a smile on his jaw.
I pulled up the red poker boxers of mine and slid on the tank top before going over at digging myself into his warm arms.

He obliged quickly and wrapped me up in a scarlet red blanket that had been sitting next his side.
“This reminds me of picnics.” I stated as I stood up and twisted it around myself before I sat back down into his open arms.
“Yeah, actually. Like those stupid ones our parents would take us on when we were little. You and me always started food fights with each other. You ruined my favorite shirt, remember?”
I giggled. “I do, in fact. Those were so lame, but my brother loved those, you know. He always had to stop those food fights. Every time we went he‘d come home with a goofy grin and he‘d tell me he loved seeing me happy. ” I grinned at the memory. It felt like it all happened yesterday.
He tugged me closer and I leaned my head against his neck, his pulse beating its rhythm against my forehead.
“Mikey loved those too. I never got the stains out of that shirt by the way.”
I smiled. “Sorry, what shirt was it again?”
“Ninja Turtles.” He answered instantly.
A giggle escaped from me. “Oh, sorry bout that.”
He laughed and played with the fuzzy ends of the blanket.
“So you still can’t tell me? You can’t tell me anything…no clues, no anything?”
He laughed again whilst he responded, “No, I won’t tell you anything.”
“Anything? At all?” I gently poked his tummy as I asked.
“Mm-mm.”

The light of the moon reflected off the crashing waves. I climbed onto his lap and nuzzled closer.
“Please?”
He laughed as he gripped my sides tightly, pressing his thumbs deeper into my back. My stomach started to bubble, however, not with anger.
“I can’t, it’s a surprise. I don’t want you to be disappointed though, cause it’s not something that I can physically give over to you.”
I turned around and placed my legs on either side of his and took both his hands in mine and cocked my head to the side.
“I’m not gunna just give in, you know.”
He smiled as he reversed us and pinned me down in the sand.
“I know, I just love torturing you though. Fun source of entertainment.”
He slowly left a trail of kisses up and down my neck as he laced his fingers with mine, tickling me, torturing me, that burning sensation in my stomach spreading.
I giggled as he continued.
“You know, you’ve got the cutest giggle ever. You sound like such a little kid, “said Gerard between little kisses.
“That tickles, quit it.” I whined between giggles.
“Why?”
He picked his head up with a grin plastered to his jaw. His forehead pressed against mine and I took one look before leaning up to kiss him. Just a small simple kiss. I hadn’t been able to do it up until that moment; pluck up enough courage to kiss him on my own, beating him to it.
“Cause it tickles too much and I’m too tired to giggle.” I smiled.
He kissed my forehead before sliding off and holding me close from behind.
“Fine. I guess you’re off the hook this time.”
I snuggled closer.
“Wait, so when’s this naturally thing gunna happen?”
My impatience spoke for me.
“Tomorrow, be patient till then.”
“Tomorrow. Great.”
His hot breath against my neck made me shiver and with that sleep drew across my eyes and cast me under it’s unfathomable spell.

“Bri? Wake up.”
I groaned not wanting to move as he lifted me up so that I was sitting upward and against him. I nuzzled my face into his warm sweatshirt.
“Bri, come on, open your eyes. Doll face, come on, please?”
“Surprise?” I questioned lazily.
“Yeah, it’s that, come on.”
I rubbed my worn-out eyes as I let them open.

An intense shade of brilliant red pierced the thin line that crossed between ocean and sky. Along with the tints of hushed pinks and outreaching oranges and spine-tingling yellows. No clouds, all colors.
Sunrise

"This?"
"Not disappointed?"
"No, not at all but why?" I asked as I watched in awe while a half oval showed it's face to me.
My stomach twisted in itself and a piercing burst of engery sprinted from my head to my toes and tingles ran through my arms to my finger tips. It always felt like the first breath of air when you came up from a deep dive. He held me even close and I swear I felt his heart beat softly against my backside.
"Because I wanted to share that feeling that you get when you look at them with you. You told me I should pay attention to those kinda things cause if I didn't they'd slip away from me. You feel it to?"

"Yeah...I do."

I had been falling so quickly. Now finally I realized the truth.

[a/n: Really sorry about the delay guys, homework, school, all that beautiful crap. It's been a real struggle with me. So really sorry, hope you enjoy the next chapter. Personally, I feel like it's really drawn out, but it sorta had to be that way. But yeah, if you have any suggestions then you know, suggest them. Comment please :] ]