Hate, Love, and Sex Appeal

My petty little heart was underway of swelling and pesty little butterflies invaded my insides.
I couldn’t deny this simple fact anymore. It was like a stunningly bright light at the end of a tunnel. I couldn’t refuse it nor reject it anymore because that would be pointless. Those profuse feelings had lingered and had been nudging their heads through. But now, they were out in the open, blatantly screaming out the truth with their insignificant lungs.

I liked Gerard.

I had to admit it sooner or later. If I didn’t openly say it, then it would eventually escape me subconsciously and that would be worse, for a fact.
More then half the sun’s face shone it’s brilliance as it rose higher and higher. I shyly snuggled closer into Gerard’s arms.
“Gerard?”
“Ya?”
“Thank you…you know, for doing all this.”
“My pleasure, Doll face.”
I numbly took his hands by the finger and gently pulled them closer until he wrapped his arms around my stomach. His touch to my frosted skin sent ripples of heat throughout the entire course of my body.
The rounded edge of the sun just nipped the earth’s surface. As the sun rose my mind sunk and swirled back to the moment that he had caught me on the beach in the rain. I mean, he wouldn’t take me out if there wasn’t a particularly special reason. His not-so-distant responses had sling-shot themselves back into my train of thought. Why do you think I kissed you?
“We should start heading home, Bri.”
I let a dramatic sign. “Yeah, we really should.”
I lazily maneuvered myself up off of him and brushed off the sand crystals off as I did so. Gerard closed up
the jet black bag and slung it over his shoulder as I set off in the direction of my temporary home.

He walked a smidge quicker to catch up with my pace that I’d established.
“So…d’you regret coming with me?”
I absentmindedly glanced upward at him and then out towards the colliding waves that met the sand in grace.
“No, I don’t. Do you regret asking me?”
“Nope.”
I let out a small giggle at my ongoing thoughts.
“What’so funny, huh?” He lightly prodded me with a free elbow.
“It’s just funny, you know? I’d never would’ve thought…”
His jaw slipped upward into a small smile as he acknowledged what I had said.
“Yeah, I know what ya mean.”

“I thought you hated the beach…why would you agree to sleep on it?” I asked curiously.
“It was peaceful and I kind of…yeah. Just, it seemed like a good idea to me.” He replied shyly.
“Kind of what?”
“No, it’s nothing. It just seemed like a good idea to sleep there. You can’t see the sunrise as well from our room as you can from the beach. Why…what’d you think?”

He was never all too great at lying. Sure, he was quick on his feet to answer with a few small pointers. However, having a pretty good sense of knowing when someone’s telling me the truth or not and knowing how poorly he was at lying, I could just…tell. I was well on my way of catching onto what he was going to go on about.

“I dunno. I just know you don’t particularly like the beach.”
He simply nodded as he smiled and continued walking in step with me.

The salty air I inhaled felt relaxing and I felt at ease with everything all at once. The beach, remarkably enough, had that type of effect on me. I was never such a beach-going kind of kid when I was little. Having gritty little sand particles in ever inch possible, gaining exposure to the sun, enough to be burned, and, thanks to Mikey, a fear of sharks and large bodies of water, wasn’t my “thing”. But, somehow, over the course of the past few years, it had become one of my favorite places to be. Not only because of the lively atmosphere of it, but also because of the way the sky transformed in front of you within the blink of an eye.
I guess transformations weren’t as bad as I had made them seem. I wasn’t used to change, for the most part. Change meant differences, where routines would change and familiarity broke loose and was lost for good. I was so used to familiarity that I had never wanted change; I liked things the way they were, the way they were suppose to be. With me, it felt like there always had to be a comfort zone to fall back down on. Yet, over the past few weeks, I had, once again, proven myself wrong. I guess I have a knack of doing that.

Within a short amount of time, we had reached the board walk that stretched it’s steps up to the house.
“You don’t think they stayed up, waiting for our return, do ya?”
I continued to look at each step I placed my foot on as I asked my question.
“Hope not. But, I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?”
“Shh, don’t say that.” I instantly warned as the words escaped him.
“What, why?” He looked down at me in amused confusion.
“Because.” I whispered in a hushed voice.
“Because…why?”
“Because I said so.”
“Come on, really. Why?”
“Because, whenever somebody says that, the worse usually happens.”
He shook his head and let out a small laugh.
“You’re so weird, you know that?”
“Something I’m proud of. Don’t knock it till ya try it, buddy.”
“Never said it was such a bad thing.”
A smile magically appeared on my face like lollypop dye emerges on your tongue.

“Gerard?”
“Mhm?”
“Why don’t we use the fire escape?”
“The huh?”
“Fire escape, the one that’s down by our edge of the house. You know?”
“Good idea.”
We raced back down the steps and retraced our steps to about where that end of the house would be. Without a single word, we trudged up the side until we reached view of the house. I decided to sprint ahead and get up before he had the chance.
I carefully gripped at the ladder after each step. I guess he had run too because he was right on my tail.
In an instant, I was atop the roof, looking out at everything at my current eyelevel. I felt tall…for once in my life.

“I left it open, go in.” Gerard nodded towards the awaiting window.
I gently climbed inside and was caught off guard. He climbed in and instantly stared at what was waiting for us on the bed.

“So exactly where have you two been?”

Our parents were calmly scattered around our room, my mom was sitting next to his mom on the bed and his dad was in mid-pace as my dad was casually leaning against the door frame. It could almost be compared to the silence that edges up on a city before the loudness of a natural disaster about to strike.

Whoops.

I looked up at him, unsure of whether he wanted me to answer or was he about to--

“Out.”
He slung the bag down into the corner and sat down next to it. Classic, Gerard.
“And may we ask where out was?”

I hate it when parents gang up and speak for each other. It had to be one of the biggest pet peeves that I’ve ever owned. It was almost as if they enjoyed it. Thinking of all the guilt trips they could pull or the punishments they could hand out. Someone always had to do the speaking and the others just dumbly nodded along in agreement. Honestly, just fucking speak for yourself if you have something to say, don’t just nod or go along with something.

“We went out on a date.”

To tell you the truth, despite the situation, the reactions that splashed across their faces was almost comical. You could, unquestionably, see the amount of how unexpected that response was.
“Are you serious?” My dad, of all people, questioned in disbelief. I tried my best not to smile or laugh or show any sign of emotion whatsoever.
“Yes, we went out on a date, is that so unbelievable?” I asked.
“Yeah.” They responded in unison.
“That’s something that would come across as a shocker, yes.” His mom suggested.
“Well, we did. Not so unbelievable.”
“Maybe not as believable as the fact that Frank makes a terrible girl.”
Confusion etched itself across my face as this statement left Gerard’s father’s mouth.
“What?”
“I got Mikey and Frank to try and cover up for us. I guess Frank chose to cover for you,” whispered Gerard.
I covered my mouth with one hand to try and stifle that laughter that was attempting to break through at the thought of Frank attempting to be me.
“This isn’t funny, Brianna. Do you know how worried the both of you had us? We were about to call the police.” My mom angrily stated.
“Not so funny knowing that you both aren’t going out for the next few days, is it now?”
“But-”
“No “if”, “ands”, or “buts”, you both aren’t going anywhere for the next few days. And I’m sure you’ll be happy to know that the house is in need of shaping up and there are chores to be sorted. Lucky you.” My dad replied.
“Do you understand?”
“Mhmm.”

They filed out of the room sharing successful glances at one another and shooting us guilt-filled stares at Gerard and I.
“Bet you wish you didn’t say it now, don’t ya?” I stated in his direction.
He shot me a playful glare. “Shut it. That’s not why that happened anyway.”
“Says one who is superstitious to a ridiculous degree, huh?”
He just laughed at the last statement instead of answering because he knew it was true.
“So you got Frankie and Mikey to try and cover, huh?” I chuckled.
“Yeah.”
“How did that work?”
“Well… they just stayed in here and I told them they could answer for us if one of us were called or something. Didn’t do such a hot job, I guess.”
I continued to giggle. “Guess not.”

Realization swamped me with the greatest of ease. I had told Logan that I’d hang out with him, what…was it tonight?
“Damn.”
“What?” Gerard questioned as he let himself rest on the corner of the unmade bed.
“I made plans with Logan tonight, I told him I’d hang out with him cause I’ve been ditching ’im lately.” I admitted as I took a seat against the sturdy wall.

“Oh.”

Disappointment, sadness, let down.

A instant stab of unimaginable guilt plunged itself deep down into the very pit of my stomach. That simple little “oh” had a tidal wave effect on me. How does he do that? Just by saying “oh”. No other words to make me feel extremely guilty, all he needed to do that was a simple little “oh”.
“We can’t go out for the next few days. So we’re stuck in the house while everyone’s out. Ooh the punishment.” I joked as I tossed a pillow into his face to lighten the mood.
He face brightened up a bit as I said this. He gently tossed the pillow back as he responded.

“Yeah, hanging out alone with you for the next few days is gunna be pure torture.”

[a/n: Yeah, this chapter's really short. But I have everything planned out and it is relevant. So yeah, comment please? :] Thanks for reading.]