Hate, Love, and Sex Appeal

Bone-shattering chills seized a death-grip over my entire skeleton and propelled a terrible tremble down my spine. Frank had told me that, just as a simple warning, that he didn’t trust Logan. Yet, this was completely different and I knew that for a fact.
Was Logan the reason for Frankie acting so strangely?
I felt the coagulated acid that caked my quivering stomach scorch and sputter and suddenly, I felt nauseatingly sick.
What did Logan do to my Frankie?
I swear if he hurt him in any way, shape, or form, he’d wish that he was a misfortunate miscarriage.
A massive knot fastened within the very core of my upset stomach. There was something insanely wrong with this vividly horrifying image that refused to release itself from my system.

“Well, we’d better…get…what’s wrong, Bri? Ya look sick. What’s the matter?”
I glimpsed upward as he strode back into the room and instantly crushed the note in my minuscule fist. I recoiled in profound thought as I attempted to search anywhere but his doubtful eyes.
Should I tell him? What was more important…Frankie’s safety or saying something which holds the fear of being bagged on by Gerard, telling me that he, in fact, been correct all along?

“Um, it’s nothing. What were you saying?”

I’d tell him later.
Maybe Frank didn’t want Gerard to know. If he did, he could have said it rather then hiding secrets within the confines of crinkled paper.
He squinted his eyes accusingly at me and, with those same reprimanding eyes, his gaze abruptly fell towards where my hand was behind my back. I felt my cheeks set ablaze and a surge of self-consciousness washed over and enveloped me in it’s unforgiving hold. His golden hazel eyes peered back into my spurious ones. A fleeting flare of fear illuminated my insides.
It was as though he had x-ray vision or telepathy or something. Idiotic to think, yes, but nobody can truthfully state that they’ve never had the dread of someone reading their mind or seeing right through them.

He continued to mercilessly stare me down as he allowed himself to say, “Suit yourself.”
He turned to walk out of the room once again, when he reversed pace and spun around with an unsure look pasted to his face.
“Are you sure you’re alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”

He subtly nodded as he crossed the room.
“So you wanna split these up and get ‘em started?”
I briefly nodded, still uneasy with the thought of opening my mouth and accidentally letting something slip.
“We can split up the small shit and do the big ones together, save some time.”

The pulsating vacuum was sending cackles of broken chips and sounds of chirping metal throughout the entire house as I absentmindedly pushed it in a random deformed pattern.
“That your last one?”
“Yeah, you’re done?”
“Ya.”

We had been cleaning in complete and utter misery for about five torturous hours and we had only worked on the inside. Cleaning Frankie’s and Mikey’s crap officially scarred me…for eternity. I found the randomest shit in there and I’ll leave it at that. Although, I admit, it wasn’t too bad waxing and washing the kitchen and diner floors, despite falling down a numerous amounts of times. Sliding around in thick woolen socks, yes I do own wool socks, had been contagiously fun.
The Hoover sucked up the rest of the junk that had greedily grabbed the thick layers and then I was able to unplug the snake-like cord and place the vacuum back into the cavernous closet. I stumbled out to the back yard apparently before Gerard had. I grinned wildly as I stated, “ Shoty not tending to the pool.
“No way!” He shouted from the doorway.
“I shotied it!”

I heard him sigh heavily and caught a quick glance as he playfully glared at my figure, which had plopped onto the lush green grass
“You’re lucky I like you.”
I heard him hastily mumbled as he allowed himself to lay next to me.
“Can’t we take a break, Gerard?”
I instantly inhaled that pleasant fresh green grass fragrance and the sensation of sleepiness instantaneously distributed itself within every structure of my frame.
“For a little while, I guess.” He replied as he plucked a few blades of grass from the earth and tenderly placed them on the nape of my neck. Goosebumps cultivated themselves and my skin tightened as they grazed. I continued to sluggishly lay on my stomach with my head resting lazily on my folded, eyes closed mind open. I felt weight press down gently against my back as Gerard laid his head down, using me as his personal pillow.
Nothing was spoken; the hushed breeze and the piercing yet comfortable sun kissed my skin, warming me up from the inside out. Now I know what a mug of hot chocolate feels like.
“Comfy?” I asked, restraining myself from opening my eyes.
“Very. You make a good pillow.”
“Mmm… I wouldn’t’ve thought so. Pillows aren’t suppose to be bony.” I complained.
“But you’re not too bony.” He disagreed.
“I think so. Frankie admits it. You can too.” I argued, continuing to stare at the inside of my eyelids.
“If Frank said that the world was ending in a matter of days, would you believe him?”
My jaw should had whip-lash from the quickness of my growing smile.
“Depends.”
“On what?”
“My mood that day. See, if I was in a wickedly terrible mood, I’d most likely help the whole ending of the world move along quicker.”

I felt him chuckle and the immediate image of him grinning flashed through my mind.
“You’re quite the pessimist. Who knew so much anger could come from such a little girl?”
I grimaced at the word ‘little’. Just an undetectable shudder, or so I thought.
“What?”
“Nothing.” I lied.
“No. Tell me.” He replied in a persistent tone.
“Nothing. I just…hate the word ‘little’. That’s all.” I confessed hesitantly.
“Why?”
He removed his head from my back and suddenly the sun was no longer the only heat I felt piercing me.
“Because I do.” I replied half-heartedly.
“Why can’t you tell me?”
“I can. I just chose not to.” I admitted.
“So there is a reason…” He whispered gently.
“I don’t really need a reason. I just hate it.”

Silence overthrew the summer scene as I somewhat a monster-like cloud cover the sun like a theater curtain. For a good five minutes, no words nor contact of any kind was exchanged.
“There’s nothing wrong with being little, you know.”
He whispered quietly and tickled my ear.
“It isn’t that, why’d you guess that?” Lie.
“Oh…it’s not?”
Of course, with the outstandingly amazing luck that I have, he was right and he wanted to push the matter further. I knew he didn’t buy it by the way he asked in a velvety tone.

I consciously hid my face away into my arms, with my forehead pressed against them like a pillow and the
grass grazed the very tip of my nose. I shook my head and indicated my answer. I felt him touch my arm with smooth finger tips and I could feel him move closer and the rhythmic hum of his breathing reached my ears. The intense mixture of ammonia, sweat, and the cologne that lingered within the threads of his shirt along with the rest of his body wavered through my unsuspecting senses.

“Little is just a terrible word. Small, insignificant. They all mean the same thing. Not sturdy, weak. That’s the meaning of little. Who wants to be that?” I said, sounding a bit muffled due to my face being buried within the cave created by my arms.
“That may be what you think but you wanna know what I think?”
“Am I going to hear it anyway?”
“Yes, regardless of what you say, you’re still going to hear it.”
“No.”
“Little may mean tiny. But insignificant? That’s a completely different word. You can’t relate those two. You know, like in X-Men their genes are different. Genes are tiny but look how big of a difference they make. You were born small, you can’t help it. But…really…you’re just the right size. You know how you like sweatshirts so much? You’re able to fit into anybody’s. If I ever tried to fit into your sweatshirt…I’d be screwed.”

He continued to let his fingers crawl along the length of my arm. A smile cracked like an egg onto my face. This is different. I wasn’t so used to him trying to get me to think something different about myself. I was comfortably speechless as his pale rose petal-soft fingertips traced along my elbow.
“So now I’m a disease?”
“That wasn’t the point and you know it.” He answered smugly.
I was making the grass that was fractions away from my face sway by absentmindedly blowing them with soft breaths.

“You have this one small curl in the back of your hair. You know, the strands that don’t fit into your bun? It’s cute.”
I felt him begin to play with it, curling it between his fingers. I grinned as I shook my head and rolled over onto my back and gazed over at him with one arm as a cushion underneath my head and an arm resting no my stomach.
“Naw, it’s annoying. It’s that one stupid piece that doesn’t fit.”
“Nope, it’s cute. Alright, get up, we gotta finish.”
“No, five more minutes.” I whined like a petulant six year old.
“No, up, now.” He rose to his feet and overlooked over me like a tower.
“No.” I replied in a high pitched tone and held the ‘o’ out for the dramatic effect.
He snickered at my response as he continued to look down at me.
“Up?”
I smile innocently as he asked.
“Alright.”
He reached down and tried to grab my knees but I caught on too quickly.
“No!”
I tucked myself in and rolled away before he had the chance to tickle me.
“Hey, don’t you roll away from me!”
I began to laugh as I continued to roll. I could see him from my peripheral view as he started running towards me and began to comically panic.
“No, you can’t do that! It’s cheating!”
I swiftly rose to my feet and began to run away.
“That’s cheating!” His voice was closer and I could pick up the swishing of his pants as he scampered after me. I began running faster around the house to escape a painfully hazardous torture.
“Where the hell did you go?” I heard him laugh in the somewhat distance I had put in between us. I was pretty much like the roadrunner when I wanted to be which was always a good thing.
I allowed myself to lose speed and eventually worked it down to a walk. I stealthily peeked around the corner like a kid does to check if their mom’s out of the kitchen so they can steal a cookie before dinnertime. There were no traces of Gerard; just the backyard and the view of the pier. I went to check if there was anyone behind me,
“Gotcha!”
Two hands grabbed me at my sides from behind. Wild eyed and grinning widely, Gerard walked me forward to the backyard.
“Got you.” He teased.
“Fine,” I sighed, “Ya got me. I admit it. Although you cheated…”
“I did not cheat. Now come on, we gotta get these done so we have some time to ourselves.”
“Ugh.”

After a few more agonizing hours of doing every outdoor chore imaginable, we were left with the final chore on the list.
“Why does the outside of the house have to be clean?” Gerard complained as he leisurely filled a intensely bright blue bucket with soapy water that wore bubbles on its top. Rainbow shells surfaced on the tops of the bubbles that emerged and spread, and clung to the sides of the bucket.
“Don’t ask me, I don’t have a clue. So we’re doing the second one first?” I asked gripping my bucket and nodded up towards our window, located on the second story.
“Yeah, I’ll be right up.”
I put the metallic bucket handle in my mouth and climbed the vine-infested fire escape, which was proven to be quite a difficult task. I reached the top and gripped the handle in one hand and a sudsy sponge in the other and began to scrub the outer core of the house with crankiness looming around me like a fog.
Gerard appeared from our window almost two minutes later.
“You know…you could have just went through the house to get to the roof instead of the fire escape.”
“I like challenges.”
“Yeah, that’s you. I’m gunna start the other side.”

After a good five minutes of scrubbing, my arms began to throb with a twinge of pain. I tried re-gripping the handle of the bucket. It had grown increasingly problematical to hold because of the amount of soapy water that had dripped onto it. However, I ended up letting go of the bucket and it sloshed all over the roof, the bucket fell with a soft ‘clank’ onto the ground.
I took one step and it could have possibly been my last. My footing became unstable and my balance was thrown off course. I fell hard on my back and the soapy trail had made the roof a lethal slip and slide. My feet left the roof surface and I had to think quick to grip onto the gutters with all the strength I could muster.
“Shit!”
“Bri! Are you alright?”

You’d think my initial reaction was to start panicking and not to think logically. You would be partially correct, yes. Panic, of course, I don’t want to die falling off of a roof, that is not the best way to go. Thinking logically…’don’t let go of the gutter’ was the only thought spinning through my skull.
“Gerard! I’m gunna fall!”
My forearms pulsated with stabbing pain as I held tightly to the grimy gutters, which had been caked in soap along with slippery wet leaves.
I looked down and the dips and slopes in the ground suddenly looked a lot steeper then I had remembered.
“Hold on! I’ll be right there. I’ll pull you up.”
I didn’t even attempt to re-grip the gutters edge because if I didn’t do it right, the ground would have been my capturer.
“Bri! Let go, I’ll catch it’s not that far of a drop.”
I looked down to see Logan, standing directly below me with his arms outreached to grab me.
“No, Gerard’s right here. He can pull me up. It’s fine.”
“Here, Bri.”
I looked back up to see Gerard reaching out to me, carefully as to not slip himself.
“Hey, Gerard, don’t risk it man. I’m right here I can catch her.”
“No, it’s fine. She’s not that heavy, I can lift her up.”
“Dude, you’re gunna fall too.”
“No…I’m not. I’m fine.”
He was growing more and more agitated by the minute as Logan insisted on catching me.
“Bri, grab my hand.”
“Gerard, I can’t I’m gunna fall if I let go.”
“No, you’re not. Trust me. I wouldn’t let you fall. Here.”
He secured a grip around my thin wrists and began to haul me up onto the roof. I grabbed his arms in a tight grip as I attempted to help. When I was almost halfway up, he grasped my waist and pulled me all the way up to safety.
We both laid there for a moment to regain a stable breathing pattern and to let muscles rest.
“Are you alright?” He asked still breathing heavily.
“Yeah, rather then my back, I’m fine. Thanks Gerard.” I hugged him as relief soaked into me as does water with a sponge.
He returned the gesture and said, “Told you I wouldn’t let you fall.”
“Are you guys alright?”

Logan shouted from the ground below.
“Yeah, we’re fine, I’ll be down I a minute.” I responded.
“You go I’ll finish up up here.” He nodded towards the window while pushing me up to make sure I didn’t fall back down.
I hiked in through the open window into the room and through the house to where Logan was standing outside.
“Hey, you alright?”
He looked at through concern-filled eyes.

A stab of self-conscious took over. Eyes close, mind opened. I needed to stay alert to make sure nothing whatsoever slipped about Frankie, anything obviously suspicious anyway.
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Thanks.”
He nodded subtly and continued to stare at me with those electrifying eyes.
“So you didn’t make any plans right?”
“Um, well, about that…”

Something wild flashed across his eyes and it made my stomach jolt momentarily.
“I’m kind of grounded.”
“Aw, come on, we haven’t been able to hang out in a while. Why don’t you just sneak out? Your windows right out here. We can hang out late, I don’t mind.”

Something churning beneath the deep inky black pupils of his made me suspicious of this question. He relentlessly stared into my eyes as he awaited an assuring answer. I ran through my head over and over again.
“I guess I can do that. But it has to be like…late late, you know.”
“Yeah, that’s fine, doesn’t start till later anyway.”
I cocked my head to the side in curiosity.
“What doesn’t start?”
“You’ll see later, I promise.”
“Alright.” I compromised. Curiosity drove me closer to the edge of insanity but I didn’t mind.
“So how’d you guys get along last night?”
“Last night? Oh, it was fun. Played a couple games, watched movies. Frankie’s a really funny kid.”

My stomach instantly dropped. Could it have been anymore ironic? A little closer to the edge now beyond the sensation of being dared with a triple-dog dare.

“Oh, Frankie? Yeah, he’s awesome, my best friend.”
“Yeah, he talked about you a lot after you left, sounds like he’s really protective.”
We had started walking around the house and I wasn’t able to look at him when he spoke the statement but I went with my instinctive gut feeling.
“He can seem that way with me. We’ve been best friends for a while.”
“He seems like the type of guy that would die for you, you know. He’s pretty good at compromising too. Not too good with arguing though…”
“Really? Frank? He’s pretty damn good at arguing, I’d give him that.”
Interest pulsed it’s venom through my brain, victimizing it to its demand.
“Well he’s good until you strike him down with something he can’t argue against, That’s how it works in a lot of cases.”

My stomach was on my fire with raging angst. My mind was like a strobe light flashing a million miles an hour, different thoughts with each passing millisecond.
“Oh…”
“Yeah. Well, um…where should I meet you tonight?”
“How about by the bottom of boardwalk?”
I nodded my head in the direction of the boardwalk that led directly down to the beach.
“Yeah, perfect. Around eleven?”
“Sounds good,” I gulped.

Eyes close, mind opened.