The Craziest Thing

We walked back into the apartment, still hand in hand, to Jake talking on his cell phone. Well, I guess closer to screaming into it.

"I can't believe this! You knew? You could have at least called to warn me!"

Silence.

"Well we were! But instead of you interrupting, that jackass did!"

All I could utter was a choked, "Uh. . ." While Damon, being a bit more bold, snipped, "Aw, jackass? I'll take that as a compliment compared to some of the things you've called me."

Jake paused his pacing and whirled around to face us, finally noticing we were in the room. His face morphed from shock to anger as he flipped his phone shut. "Y—Y—" His smile was cutting, cruel, amazed and slightly insane. He shook his head. "You're not here! You can't be. You don't get out for another year!" He glanced down at our intertwined hands and jerked me away from him by the arm. "Get away from my girl."

If a broken heart had an expression, it would be mirrored on Damon's face. But that look was fleeting, and disappeared in but moments, so fast that I'm not sure if Jake saw it. His eyes hardened immediately, his mouth flattened from the breath-taking smile he had been wearing since he took my hand. He looked like he did in the stairwell.

I glanced helplessly from Jake, to Damon, to the hand painfully gripping my arm. Jake's chest was heaving from all the excitment and he was still staring at the stone Damon. For a moment it was silent. I pried the fingers from around my upper arm and stepped back, away from both. The two, who had been staring at each other, turned to look at me.

It was then I realized how strange this would look to someone on the outside. Me in my lingerie, Jake with his hair messed up and shirt half-way off, exposing his abdomen, and Damon, with eyes aged well beyond his years. All standing in my apartment, door agape. I hoped the landlord didn't happen to walk past.

"I... I..." I didn't know what to say. How do I express what I feel? That I love them both more than life itself? That I can't picture my life without Jake, now? But now that I have Damon back I'm like a relapsed druggie—I can't live without him.

Jake repeated Damon's words in the hallway. "I'm not sharing you," his tone held a cruel note, "Choose. Now."

I looked from face to face, both looking at me in anticipation. "I... I can't. Just... Ugh!" I let out a small scream as I slammed the front door shut and stomped into the living room. Jake shot a death glare to Damon, and followed hastily. Damon smirked back, stuck his hands in his pockets and meandered after.

"You really haven't changed a thing." He glanced around, like it was a stroll in the park.

From my hands, my head snapped up. "Wha..." I laughed halfheartedly in astonsishment. "Ya know? I may be making the choice I've had nightmares about for the past three years, but you still manage to amaze me." I shook my head as it dropped back into waiting palms. I could hear his steps coming toward me, before he lowered himself onto the sofa on my right. It wasn't until then that I realized Jake had settled on my left.

A light touch on my skin awakened me from my haze. "Look... I... I don't like the idea of sharing y—" Damon's soft voice came with his soft hand, Jake's harsh tone sounded as a one-eighty to the other boy's.

"I'm not sharing you with that..." disgust colored his tenor, "criminal." His hand grasped my forearm with enough force that I was sure I'd have a bruise the next day. I quickly jerked back, hitting Damon's shoulder. Just that simple collision sent shivers down my spine and a chill racked through my body. A simple touch like that, sending my nervous system over the deep edge. I hadn't realized how much I missed him. His smell, a cinnamon-vanilla. The feel of his hard body next to mine. The contrast of rounded and squared, angles and curves, feather pillows and a granite statue, all seemed to fit together just right when I curled next to him.

"I— I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. We all know he didn't do anything." Yes, we all knew that. How could anyone forget that day? When Jake—not Damon—walked into the house, bloodstained. Maybe Jake was just trying to forget. Maybe he was trying to make us forget. Either way, I wasn't happy.

"Jake. Damon." I glanced from boy to boy. So different. One, childish, almost. Pain clearly displayed on his face. The other, introverted adult. Concealed, and unless you knew better you'd think he was indifferent about the situation. "This is...horrible and amazing at the same time. I've got the two men I love most in this world. On the other hand, I've got the two men I love most in this world." Once again I braved peek at the two guys on either side of me. "I hope you understand... I can't choose, at least not now. Give me one month. At the end of that time, I'll make my choice." My voice sounded as a hollow echo of myself. I'm not sure if it was shock or an attempt to keep my tears under locks until they both left.

"Fine." Jake's tone, a violin strung too tight. "But if I have to leave, then that son of a bitch is coming with me."

Damon chuckled, "Alright. I'll see you tomorrow." His fingers slid under my chinand lifted it to his face. Lips brushed my cheek, light as the flutter of a butterfly and sent my heart fluttering in the exact manor.

On my other side, Jake looked like a bomb with a short fuse. In a desperate atttempt to out-show Damon he pulled me roughly into a passionate embrace. I allowed it to linger for a moment, but shoved away. Shaking my head I whispered, "No... Not now." I gave a light kiss on his lips, not at sharp as the one he gave me, but still showing that I do still love him. And it was like his first kiss all over again, he tried his hardest to make it last.

As they walked out the door she gazed at them, longingly. Damon paused at the door and sketched a mock bow, "After you." Jake passed with a sneer and the other followed. Finally, alone.

~

I'm not sure how I got in to the bathroom. I don't remember taking my clothes off, or turning on the water. I don't remember shutting the door—until I realized that was because I hadn't shut it. What did it matter? I was alone.

I continued to step into the shower. Bend one leg, toe pointed. Lay it on the ground of the tub. Repeat. I told myself robotically. That was all I could manage until the stinging hot water of the shower awoke me from my haze.

Managing to form real thoughts, I reached for the shampoo but stopped with my hand extended. Heat coursed through my body. The water running down my entire form felt like a thousand tiny stings.

I stood motionlessly for a few moments, until that action felt too tedious. There, I sat down on the floor, curled my knees to my face, and let my tears mix with the water flooding over me.

~

I had black spots on my knees. I guess I had forgotten to take my eyeliner off before my little mental breakdown, so I cried my eye make-up onto my kneecaps. I rubbed the pad of my thumb over one, lying in bed in nothing but Damon's old t-shirt. I could see the outline of the smudge in the moonlight flooding through the window at the head of my bed. The blotch was stubborn, and still it stayed.

Drifting into sleep, I heard a tap pause tap. I realized this was coming from the glass above my head. I lifted myself to my knees and peered through. A dark shape was sorting through something in his hands. Throwing pebbles...

I pressed the pane outward with my hand spread, only touching it with my fingertips and...

Felt something hard hit me in the head.

It was followed by a light "Shit," and the figure rushing to the house. How the hell was ho going to get in here, shimmy up the drainpip?

Apparently he would climb up the lattice under my window. When he reached the top he slung himself agilely over the sill and landed on top of me, pinning me on the bed all in one motion. He kissed the red mark forming on my forehead lightly. Kiss it, make it better. If I could just find a way to kiss his heart.

His kissed linered and trailed down to my lips. I kissed back and he sprung into motion. His hands meandered down to my waist, mine twisted around his neck. He sunk into me and fit into all the right crevices.

I breathlessly stammered between kisses, "We shouldn't do this." My heart wasn't in the words, it was in my throat.

He ignored my statement and kissed me again.

"It's not fair."

Kiss.

"Jake will be pissed."

Kiss, this time much longer.

Finally he broke from me. My chest heaved, lips stayed apart, and eyes slowly fluttered open. He was gazing down at me as if he was looking at Heaven's gates. "Ya' know, you look really good in my shirt." He whispered with a smirk. I felt his cool, minty breath on my neck.

"You know what else I look good in?" In rolled the two of us over, now on top. "Nothing at all."