If I Could Go Back in Time

Jenna was tired. She worked so much, and she didn’t really make the right amount of money for it. She wanted to go home and just sit in the big reclining chair she had. She walked through her front door to find her boyfriend sitting right where she wanted to be.

“Move.” She said. She was too tired for this.

“Well we are in a bad mood.”

“Austin, just move okay. I had a long day and I want to sit there. It’s the only comfortable piece of furniture we have.” Jenna snapped. She had been living with him for a month and a half, and she was beginning to wish she would have stayed with her parents. She was nineteen years old, working in a restaurant, and living with a guy.

“I’m sorry honey.” Austin said. She rolled her eyes.

“Just move okay. Please.”

“Why don’t you go to bed baby? You look tired.”

“You’re not giving up the chair are you?” She asked with a sigh.

“I just think you need a break. You have been working like crazy lately.”

“Well we have to pay the rent, and we can’t count on the money your making from the band can we? This apartment sucks anyways. I don’t know why we tried to do this alone.”

“Because we are adults and we needed to get away from our parents that wouldn’t stop breathing down our necks. Besides, don’t you love me?”

“Don’t ask me that. You know I do…if I didn’t I wouldn’t be here like this with you, living like this. Here I brought dinner from the restaurant.” She said and handed him and Styrofoam box. “I think I’m going to take a bath and go to bed. I am tired.” She said. She kissed him on his lips and left the room. She went into the bedroom and took off her clothes before walking into the bathroom. She turned on the bath water and got into the tub full of bubbles and steaming hot water. She was finally relaxing. She took her long brown hair out of its ponytail and let it fall over her shoulders for a few seconds while she got a clip to pull it up into a bun.

“You should leave it down.” Austin said as he walked into the bathroom.

“What do you want?” She asked.

“I was just checking on you. You seem like you’ve had a bad day.”

“It wasn’t as bad as it could have been. I’m just tired, I’ll be happy tomorrow when I don’t have to work. I’m sorry I snapped at you out there.” She said. She smiled at him when he sat on the edge of the bathtub and looked at her without saying a word. “What?” She asked after he had been staring at her for a few minutes.

“You’re beautiful you know.” He said.

“Don’t lie to me Austin, it doesn’t gain you anything.” Jenna said and closed her eyes.

“I wouldn’t lie to you darling. You really honestly are beautiful. Even when you’re tired and worn down. You make me happy…just being here with you.”

“Austin, tell me, why did you want me to move in here with you, I want the truth.”

“Because I love you, and I was tired of having to deal with your stupid dad all the time to see you. And this way we have a bed to have sex in.” He said and smiled at her evilly. Jenna rolled her eyes.

“You’re such a pig.” She said and splashed a little bit of the water at him.

“Oh we’re going to play that way huh?” He asked and splashed some back at her. She laughed and pulled him down into the water with her, completely dressed. She kissed him and wrapped her arms around him. Being with him always made her feel better. “I’m wet now.” He said, causing her to laugh. He didn’t really care, he was just happy his girl was feeling better.

“If you want we can get out of here. I’m sure you don’t really want to lie in the bathtub with me.” Jenna said softly, knowing he couldn’t be comfortable in the bathtub like that. He was tall, and the tub wasn’t really long enough for his six foot three inch length.

“You’re right about that my love.” He said. She let go of him and he got out of the bathtub. Jenna stood up, and she reached for a towel. She wrapped herself in it and stepped out of the bathtub. She laughed at her boyfriend, who was soaking wet. “What?” He asked.

“You look like a drown rat.” Jenna laughed. She walked back to the bedroom, with her boyfriend fallowing. They had only been dating a little over a year, and she was living with him and sleeping with him. She worried about sleeping with him, even though they used two forms of birth control. She wasn’t taking any chances.

She dropped the towel and changed into her nightgown and got into bed. She watched him undress and get into something dry before he lay down next to her. He kissed her lips and pulled her close to himself. He looked down into her blue eyes and smiled before pulling her closer to himself. He couldn’t help but notice how pretty she was. She closed her eyes and fell asleep without much trouble.

The next morning she woke up with a bad sense of nausea. She couldn’t figure out why, but she suddenly couldn’t hold it in anymore and ran to the bathroom. She walked back to her bed when she finished puking and crawled back into bed. She was wondering what she had eaten to make her so sick.

When her love woke up, she was still in bed, but she was awake. She just couldn’t figure out why she had thrown up in the morning. “Morning baby.” He said sleepily and smiled at her.

“Mhmm.” She said and continued to think about her illness. She didn’t feel bad anymore, so she couldn’t figure out what was going on with her. It was bugging her, and she couldn’t get it out of her mind until he rolled over onto her and kissed her hard. She didn’t say anything or try to stop him.

“I love you.” He said before kissing her again.

“Me too.” She said and wrapped her arms around him. She slipped her tongue into his mouth and all her thoughts slipped out of her mind and she felt him push the hem of her nightgown up. She didn’t think about anything, or about precautions, she just thought about the feel of him. She just thought about how much she did love him and the way this always went so smoothly. It wasn’t until he rolled off of her that she realized that they hadn’t taken any precaution.

“Well that was a nice way to wake up.” He said with a smile.

“Oh my god.” She said.

“What?”

“We just like…had sex. Without anything.”

“So take your pill, big deal. I don’t really see why we need condoms and pills. We are living together; we should be past condoms now.” He said.

“We can hardly support ourselves! How would we make it with a baby?” Jenna asked.

“I don’t know. Take your pill and you will be fine.”

“I don’t have any.” She said. “I forgot to pick it up last night.” She said and sat up in bed. She ran her hands through her hair and she started to panic.

“Jen, don’t worry about it baby. I’m sure you’re not pregnant.” Austin said and kissed her. “Calm down.”

“Okay you’re right. One time, won’t cause any problems.” Jenna said softly and got out of bed. She went to the kitchen to make breakfast. She was worried that she was going to have this problem. She loved him, and she would be okay if they had any money. She had met him at a party, and they had just gotten together, there was instant chemistry, and she was happy to be with him. But she couldn’t support a baby.

A few weeks passed and she started her period, and she almost cried with relief when she started. She was perfect now, and she went to work that day with a smile on her face. She was working as a waitress in a local restaurant. She kept that smile on her face all day, and when Austin and his friend and band mate Cody Hanson walked into the restaurant, she was more than happy to take the table.

“Hi Jenna, you seem to be in a great mood today…something I’m not used to.” Cody said.

“Just a good day is all Cody, what can I get for you?” She asked with that smile spread across her face.

“Get me the best you’ve got. We, as in me, you love and Joe have a few shows lined up. We’re going to actually get paid!” Cody said with his own bright smile.

“That’s great!” Jenna said. She took their order and went into the kitchen to put it in.

That night Austin took her to dinner to celebrate. “Wow it’s been a while since we’ve gone out.” She laughed.

“I know, but I think we deserve it. This band is really doing good for me honey, it’s going to be a lot of hard work, but I really think that I can make something out of it. If we work together, me and the guys, we can do this.” Austin said to her. She kind of smiled, but mostly just looked down at her plate. She wanted him to be successful and she wanted him to make it, but she wasn’t sure that she wanted him to get a record deal.

She didn’t know what to tell him. She just stood by as weeks went by where this was really getting further and further into success. It was hurting her, and she was getting tired of him not being with her. She was working, and he was working, and she never saw him anymore.

“Austin, honey. We need to talk.” She said. She looked down at the ground, and she thought about the fact that she had her bags packed and in her car. How could she do this to him?

“Okay so talk Jenna. You’ve been acting so weird lately, and all we ever do is fight anymore. We haven’t even been intimate in like three weeks! Tell me what’s going on.” He snapped.

“This isn’t working anymore Austin. I never see you anymore, and I never have you here with me! We still don’t have any money, and you’re right, all we do is fight. So I think we need to take a brea…”

“Don’t tell me that. If you’re going to leave, tell me you’re going to leave. Don’t give me that take a break crap.” He said.

“Okay fine Austin, I won’t give you that. And I won’t give you the it’s not you it’s me line, because that would just be a lie. It’s not that it’s you; it’s just that I can’t do this like this. I have to go, because I can’t live this way anymore. Never seeing you, fighting all the time, never having any money. I wish you luck with your band, and I hope you get everything you’ve dreamed of.” She said.

“Baby, come on don’t go.”

“I have to.” She said and kissed his lips before getting her hand bag and leaving the apartment. She was leaving for so many reasons, including all she had talked to him about, and that she didn’t want to be in the way of all of his work. She really honestly wanted him to make it, and she thought that by staying there, fighting with him all the time, she was just holding him back, and she knew he could be something big. So she walked away from it all.