If I Could Go Back in Time

While Jenna was sitting at lunch with her boyfriend, though she wasn’t sure if she should call him that, and her son, she couldn’t help but think about the night before. She could feel his ring on her skin, and she hadn’t cared at all. She despised Jami, and couldn’t believe he had married her. Even now she didn’t care that she had slept with him, it was just so confusing to her. She hadn’t ever planned to become his other woman. She just wanted him to know about his son.

“What’s a matter baby?” Austin asked her. She was mostly picking at her food, and he could tell something was on her mind. She flushed red when he called her that again after so long.

“I just can’t help but think about last night.” She whispered.

“It was pretty great wasn’t it?” He asked her and smiled.

“Great….it was wonderful! It’s been so long since I’ve…” Jenna stopped herself, remembering her seven year old son at the table.

“How long?” He asked.

“Eight years.” She confessed.

Austin’s eyes went wide for a second. “Eight years! Why so long? So that means…I’m the last person you slept with?”

“Yea…you’re the only person I’ve slept with.” Jenna said and looked down. “I could never find a guy that I was ready to go that far with before they ran for cover from the lady with the kid you know. A lot of them wanted to sleep with me…but I was never ready, and they never stuck around.”

“Wow.” He said, feeling a little bad for being so promiscuous all that time. Not so much that he married Jami, because he never expected to see Jenna again, but all the groupies. She had been celibate for eight years, and he had been sleeping with girl after girl. “Not once?”

“No…the one guy that I thought I might get that far with, I broke it off with him. He was a cheater. He loved Austin though…but I couldn’t be with a guy that was unfaithful.”

“I can understand that.”

“Mommy…” little Austin started

“Yea baby?”

“Can I have your chicken?” He asked and pointed at her plate.

“It’s not polite to point and no you can’t have my chicken! I’m eating it.” She laughed. “But I’ll give you a piece when you put your finger down.” She said and pushed his hand down. She gave him a little piece of her chicken, since she herself was hardly eating it.

“You’re a good mom Jenna, you know that?” Austin said.

“I try my best.” Jenna said.

“Well you are doing a hell of a good job at it.” He said. He leaned over and pecked her cheek, causing her to again flush red.

“Mommy…”

“What now?”

“What were you and daddy doing last night? You were loud.” Austin asked. Jenna felt herself blush terribly.

“That’s between your mom and me, ok little man.” Austin said, answering for Jenna.

“Okay. Are you going to get back together?” He asked.

“Eat your food baby.” Jenna said. “It’s rude to ask a bunch of questions.”

The three of them finished eating. “I really hate to do this to you Jen, but I have to go home. Jami is going to kill me. I’ve been gone forever.” Austin said. Jenna looked down a bit sadly. “Come on, I’ll take you and little A home.” He said. Jenna and her son got up from the table and went to Austin’s car with him. He took them home, and went into the house with them to say goodbye.

“Daddy, do you want to see how good I’ve gotten at the guitar?” little Austin asked with a bright smile.

“I would love too, but I can’t today. I will tomorrow though, I promise.” Austin said and ruffled his son’s hair. It was getting so long, but now that he had met his father, he wouldn’t let Jenna take him to have it cut. She had trimmed it herself because it was getting too long, but he wouldn’t let her cut it any shorter.

“Aww. Okay. Can I come to your house with you tonight?”

“Sorry buddy, not tonight. Jami is already going to be mad at me for not coming home last night. But soon, okay?”

“Okay.” Little Austin pouted. His father crouched down to his level.

“Don’t be sad little guy. Someday I will be with you always. I promise, ok?” He said.

“Okay dad.” Little Austin said and wrapped his arms around his father’s neck. Austin hugged him back.

“Alright, why don’t you go up and play with your guitar.” Jenna said, “Let me have a chance to say goodbye to your dad.”

“Okay mommy.” Little Austin said and ran up the stairs. Jenna looked at Austin, and couldn’t find words.

“I’ll be back tomorrow, to listen to him play.”

“He’s really getting good at it. He can play the opening cords to lips.” She said proudly. “He’s so damn stubborn; he’ll have that song down in no time.”

“Well, that’s good. Maybe in a little bit we can replace Blower with him.” Austin said, referring to the lead guitarist Joe “Blower” Garvey.

“Poor Blower.” Jenna laughed. “That guy….eats just like he always did huh?” She asked.

“Yea, he does. Cody too.”

“Mark and Mike seem like super nice guys.”

“They are….they’ve been with us for four years now.” Austin said. “I really have to go Jen.”

“I know.” Jenna said and looked down. She was sad. She didn’t want him to leave her again, and go back to his stupid bitch of a wife. He pushed her head back up with his finger tips. She looked away from him.

“Look at me Jenna.” He said seriously. She looked at him with tears filling her eyes. “Don’t cry Jen, please.” He begged.

“I’m trying so hard not to Austin. It’s just that after last night…it brought back so many feelings, and emotions, and I just….” She started.

“Jenna, don’t cry.” He said. She looked down with her eyes. Tears started to spill over and rolled down her cheeks. “Jen, please I am begging you.” He said.

“I can’t help it!” She shouted. “I’m not doing it to make you mad!”

“It’s not making me mad Jenna! I can’t stand to see you cry! I never could, and it’s tearing me apart! Stop crying…please.” He said, and pulled her into his chest. She wrapped her arms around him tightly and she cried into his chest.

“I still love you Austin…I’ve always loved you. Please don’t leave me…please.” She muttered into his chest.

“I love you too Jenna…I love you so much. I got to go home…but I will be back, and I promise that I won’t ever leave you.” He said and kissed her lips. He pulled away from her and turned to leave. She watched him walk away, and she cried when he was gone.