Don't Be so Scared

The next day rolled around (despite my prayers that it wouldn’t) and Bill woke me up at noon, on my day off. I could have killed him.

“Get up. I found a costume shop just around the block from here online. We gotta go.” He said as he shook me.

We’d been in that costume shop for an hour by the time I was ready to scream out in frustration.

“William! I don’t like any of this crap!”

He just kept throwing costumes over the door for the past hour and making me show him. Some of them were so scandalous that I swore I was supposed to report to a porn set. Those were his favorites, of course.

“You’re just too picky! Don’t you get it the point of Halloween is to escape being you for a night. Have fun with it Jae.”

I glared though the door but he couldn’t see it.

I sighed knowing he was right. “Fine William. I’ll loosen up, ok.”

“How do you feel about nurses?” He asked slyly over the door.

“If you throw me another stupid white vinyl nurse outfit I’ll shoot you.”

“Ok.” He sounded to chipper about that.

Over the door comes a piece of black vinyl.

I caught it and it was a black “sexy nurse” dress.

“A black nurse dress?” The fact that it wasn’t the plain cliché white one made me feel strangely drawn to it.

“I thought it would be more fitting of a vampire nurse to wear black.”

I slipped it on. It fit just like all the other ones like this; super tight, super short, and super low cut.

Strangely enough, I liked it.

I walked out the door knowing full well William would be ogling me yet again.

He kind of grunted -in a happy way- when he laid his eyes on me.

“You’re getting this right?” He asked hopefully.

I laughed a little. “If all the guys are going to react like this, no. I think I like it though.” I looked down at myself pulling on the outfit a little.

“Buy it.” He ordered.

He stepped to me, slung his arms around my waist, and leaned down to bury his face in my neck.

“I miss you Jae.” He saw me everyday, just so you know how he meant it.

“Billvy-” Again I started to speak only to have him stop me.

“I know Jae, you don’t have to tell me again that we can’t. You’ve told me enough times.” He said it without anger, without sadness, simply calm. “I still love hearing you call me that.” He kissed my neck once and stepped away.

“You should get the heals that match.” I love the way that boy can change a subject.

He dragged me to the shoe table.

The hooker heel ankle boots had the red cross on the black patent leather shoe.

I agreed then he made me get the fishnets to “Tie the whole thing together,” as he said.

I really think that it was just his little wet dream to see me as a vampire hooker-oops, nurse.

I wasn’t going to point that out though.

I enjoyed him looking at me that way again.

Our little “fling” was about a year ago and even though I was the one who ended it I missed it like hell.

It had to end because I refused to be the woman who tore any band apart, I am no Yoko.

I dated Butcher months before Bill and I, well, you know. Butcher and I had broken up realizing we weren’t right for each other before I did anything with William but that old rule of never dating your friends’ ex seems more important if you’re in a band to me.

Butcher and I met when people still called him Andy, he was still a butcher too and a vegetarian.

He was the greatest oxymoron ever.

He and I were far more like friends than lovers.

William insisted on paying for the stupid costume.

“William I will not get it if you’re going to pay for it!” I argued with him in front of the elderly shop keeper who really just wanted us out of there.

“No I forced you to get a costume I’ll pay or it!”

“Fuck You!” I had no intelligent response.

“Baby, again?” Now he was just trying to embarrass me and piss me off.

I just walked out.

I wouldn’t let him see he pissed me off.

I’ll let him “win” for now and he’ll regret it later.

I walked in the opposite direction of the bus. I was angry, I was going to take a walk.

My phone rang after I’d gotten about a block away.

“Johnson, I know you’re walking away from the bus but I suggest you come back because we have to go.” William said without me even saying “Hello” first.

I just hung up and turned around.

Soon enough I was met with the sight of the lanky man relaxing on a bench in front of the shop.

“Finally.” He said as he spotted me. “I thought we’d be left in this city.”

He stood up as I came up next to him and he started walking with me and draped his arm over my shoulder. With the other he carried the stupid bag that caused our problem.

I tried to shrug his arm off but he was one that wasn’t going to back down.

“I’m sorry for embarrassing you back there.” He spoke honestly.

I just leaned my head on his chest and continued walking not speaking.

I’m 5’8” and he’s 6’3” it was like the perfect height difference.

We strolled back onto the bus and everybody was there looking a little worried. They didn’t want to run late again.

Tony looked the most upset.

We really stressed him out sometimes. I feel bad that he has to be like the ‘adult’ amongst us all.

Tony got up and got things going so we were on the road.

Michael looked up at me and Bill.

“You got a costume now right?” I loved listening to that beautiful Australian accent ringing in my ears. That’s why he and James are my favorites, the other guys understand.

“William basically forced me to get one yes.” I smiled and sat down on the couch. William sitting next to me.

Sisky and Carden headed to the back because they were tired, Butcher and Chislett were sitting at the couch across from us.

“What are you gonna be?” Butcher asked.

Everyone else had already talked about their costumes.

I began to open my mouth to speak when William’s hand latched to it.

“It’s a surprise.” You could here the smirk in his voice.

“Oooh. It’s good.” Butcher said smiling too.

William moved his hand.

“Could we at least show them the shoes?” I asked because I didn’t like secrets; he and I already had enough of them.

“No it will give too much away.” He said crossing his arms and shaking his head.

They were guessing the whole way to the next city, actually all the way to Hartford when they were too busy getting their costumes ready to even bother me about what I was going as.

I did my make-up heavy and used sparkly and shiny stuff to and an ethereal look to the vampire. I had my skin even more pale than usual. I wore blood red lipstick too and my lips looked even fuller than usual. Red and black shiny eye shadow that made my blue eyes jump out more than ever imaginable.

I put temporary black in my hair and styled my hair in big sexy curls that fell below my shoulders.

After my hair and make-up was done, before I put any costume on I walked outside because they were having a meeting for the techs.

They talked about something or other and after it was finished I looked to the sky and you could clearly see the sky had an unusual pallor about it. It seemed like some sort of sign.

“Tonight is going to be an interesting night for sure.” I spoke more to myself than James beside me.

“What makes you say that?” He asked.

“Look to the sky.”

“Eh, it’s nothing.” He said skeptically.

“You’re probably right.” I said as I walked back to the bus to grab the bag with my costume to bring it in to the venue to finish getting ready.