The Letters of an Autophobic

I heard someone whispering gently to me. It seemed kinda high for a guy voice, but it was sure soft... like velvet. I couldn't open my eyes though, I was so tired.

"Come on Ellie, you gotta wake up," he whispered.

"Why?" I mumbled sleepily.

"Well, it's getting late... don't you wanna go back home?" he asked.

"No," I smiled grimly, "I don't want to go back home really."

"But won't Nathan start to worry?"

"Just tell Nate that I'm sleeping... I'm okay..."

"You're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm happy," I yawned, "Just keep talking please."

"Um," he choked on his words, "Keep talking? About what Ellie?"

"Anything... who are you?"

"Your friend hopefully."

"Am I safe?"

"Yeah."

"Okay..." I was still zoning, but I tried to reach the voice. I pulled my hand out towards the melody.

His face came into contact with my hand. I slowly opened my eyes to see a pair of hazel ones. His hair was short, a bit spiky here and there. He was slightly slim, but still had a little roundness to his cheeks. His skin wasn't flawless like an angel, but his face radiated in the dark room. I wasn't thinking.. at least straight. I just wanted to kiss him. That was before the dream could fade.

"I wish this could last," I sighed.

"What could last?" he asked.

"This, you; I'm dreaming, right?"

His lips curled into a crooked smile, "No, you ain't dreaming."

"No?" I crinkled my nose as I smiled back, "Where am I?"

"At my old house," he stated simply, "and you were sleeping where I used to sleep."

"Oh, sorry there's no room for you to sleep here," I frowned, "I mean, wait you're not sleeping here anymore..."

My stomach growled angrily and the man picked up on it, "You didn't eat?"

"Missed breakfast and...." it hit me like a wave what had happened today, "shit.."

"What?" he asked, concerned.

"Frank... and Mikey," I stated, "Where are they?"

"They went upstairs to help my dad with dinner. They wanted us to talk for a while."

"Why's that?"

"Well," he paused, "It's me, Gerard."

I froze in my spot. Our faces were inches from each other; bodies so close. My heart skipped a thousand beats. This was the guy who wanted to help me... the guy I talked to online and on the phone and here he was in my face. I wasn't sure if I should be pissed at him for being a drunk ass hypocrite or hold him close to me for being my friend... my only friend.

"You've got a minute to explain yourself," I said icily.

His eyes widened at my sudden change of mood, "Should I start with why I'm here, my drinking problem, or should I ask why you thought you were dreaming?"

"Start with why you're here," I tried to ignore the last part of his question.

"I thought I'd come visit my family. I didn't expect you to be sleeping on my couch when I got back," he said, the verity of his voice seemed to leak through.

"And your drinking problem?" I stuttered.

"Well..." he scratched his head, is that something the Way brothers do when they're under pressure? "See, I didn't have someone who could help me before I got this low. That's what I'm trying to do for you. It's not like I'm getting drunk everyday though. It happens at my very low and stressed points, that's all."

"So you don't get drunk for fun, but to ease pain?"

"Yes."

"That's still not good..."

"I know, but it's better than killing myself," he said sourly.

"True," I agreed.

"So the last one, it's yours to answer," he said nonchalantly, "Why'd you think you were in a dream?"

"Umm" I let it stretch as I tried to think of a lie; I am so bad at lying.

"Just say it."

"Because I wake up to a gorgeous face right in front of me," I said, the words seem to blur when I get nervous.

"Wow," his eyes widened again, "That's a very good reason to think you're dreaming."

"Yeah," I said.

"You blushing?" he smirked.

"Noooo," I was so flustered by him.

I looked down, but his hands found their way as one slid to the back of my head and the other lifted my chin. He pulled me towards him. I closed my eyes tightly as the impact of our lips left me breathless. It was nothing, but a kiss. No making out, just a powerful kiss. I leaned in towards him without knowing, so he pushed back slightly, I lost balance and fell backwards into the couch, he followed me there, and pressed lightly into me. It could've gone farther it seems, but he pulled away, pecking me on the forehead and getting up.

"Come on, dinner's ready."