The Letters of an Autophobic

School once again raped my life. I woke up to Nate shaking me.

"Get up sleepy head, we have school," he whispered, "I'm making breakfast because Grams went to bed coughing up a lung last night."

He was always the light sleeper... I yawned and shooed him out of the room to give me time to change. I strode over to my dresser, bent down and opened up a drawer. I pulled out a pain or washed out-ripped jeans and threw them on my bed. I closed that one up and pulled out a black and white striped-worn out skinny shirt. I made sure to get some underwear, bra, and socks.. the usual stuff and went into the bathroom. I gave myself a quick washing and got dressed up. I towel dried my auburn hair and looked at myself in the mirror.

who is this staring back at me?

I made a low grumble as my thoughts even sneered at me. I put on a small amount of eyeliner and chapstick. My green eyes enhanced from the bit of makeup, but I still hated how I looked. My short hair spiked in the back and layed in this and that direction. The baines hanged off to one side, but the ends poofed from being washed. I frowned at it and shook my head like crazy. I looked up to the mess and shrugged. It's not gonna get any better. I put on my locket and bracelets, and slipped on my converse.

"Ellie, you slow poke, hurry the hell up or I'm leaving you at home!" Nate hollered up the stairs.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming Nathan," I yelled back, stomping sleepily down the stairs.

He was always like a parent to me. He at least had friends, was Grandma's favorite, and was a straight A student. I was his doppleganger. We both had the redish brown hair, the bright green eyes and the small build, but his personality won by a longshot. I had no friends, I wasn't Grandma's favorite, and I think the teachers wouldn't notice if I did skip school because I was just barely passing all my classes. He acted the adult while I acted my scared little kid self. I never said anything mean to him because as usual, he always backed me up. He was the only person out there that had faith I could make it in the world.

"Because you're my sister El, and I love you," he told me.

At least there was one person I could go to... BUT I still reached out for attention when I could.. I just couldn't stand the girls with their bright expressions, always telling me that I can't look like this.. like me. They said they're lives are worse when I know their's isn't. My clothes came from thift stores... theirs came from malls. My family was dead and theirs were alive and kickin.

"I put your food in your bag with your lunch. We gotta go now; Jake and Mark are waiting for me."

I nodded and threw my Amry jacket on, heading out the door of the only place I knew I could belong.