Never Cover up What We Did With a Dress

Marilyn Manson.

I laughed ironically as Chesney said she'd loved me too as a child. It was so unfair and stupid how neither of us had had the courage to tell one another how we felt. Maybe if we had back then everything would have been different now.

"What's so funny?" She said, her eyebrows knitted close together in an annoyed frown.

"It's so stupid." I said, scoffing.

"What is?" She asked.

"The fact we both loved each other back then. If we'd told each other everything could have been different back then. Maybe even now."

"True." She said. I could tell she had the exact same thought on her mind. Her eyes looked sort of regretful. There was a silence between us until she started speaking again.

"Do you ever... Regret proposing to Dita?" She mumbled it quietly, then as soon as she did she snapped her head towards the window in embarrassment to avoid watching me as I replied. I touched the side of her face softly to get her to look at me again and she turn back to me, her lips parted, eyes widely looking into mine. My chest started getting heavy and my heart sped up. I returned her gaze, moving my head closer to hers. She moved closer to me, and before I even had a chance to think, a chance to stop what I was doing, or lips collided in a passionate kiss. I tried my hardest to pull away but I just couldn't. I had never wanted anything more than her at that moment. My arms linked around her as I lightly laid on top of her in the back seat. Her arms went around my back, rubbing up and down along my expensive, tailor made white suit. A moan escaped her lips as I deepened the kiss. Then she pulled back. She shut her mouth and pushed me off her.

"Well, do you?" She asked quickly, rubbing her lips with the back of her hand.

"I do now Chesney." I replied, biting my bottom lip. I could tell that was the answer she was desperate to hear. She moved closer to me again and we kissed intimately until the car stopped and we sprung apart. We climbed out of the car and I followed her into the building. When we got inside I gasped to myself in horror.

_________________________________________________________________

Chesney Martin.

"What?" I asked, looking back at Manson in disbelief. "What's wrong?"

A woman working at the venue walked past with her eyebrows raised at me. She gave Manson a dirty look and muttered, "I wonder where Dita is now." I suddenly felt guilty and I didn't even know what was wrong.

"Your face!" He cried, grabbing my hand and running me down the corridor. He quickly checked around to make sure no one was watching and then he pushed me into a room with a white door and a big gold star in the middle of it with the words "Marilyn Manson" scribbled on it.

"What about my face?" I cried as he continued to lead me into a room joining onto this one. I looked around and saw various costumes hanging next to the back wall, the ground littered with rubbish and more clothes, a big make up desk against the longest wall, lined with a big mirror, the desk in front of it covered in cups with red liquor in them and make up containers. I looked into the mirror as Manson whisked me past it. I had his lipstick smeared all over my face, and his had a little as well.

"Fuck." I said as the door to Manson's bathroom opened and he guided me to the closed toilet to sit on.

"Hopefully no one saw us." He said, wetting a face washer and coming back over to me. He knelt in front of me and began scrubbing the lip stick off.

"Ouch." I said as he scrubbed harder. "Why must you wear lip stick every second of the day and night?"

"Individuality." He replied. "And be quiet." He said with a smile on his face.

I was quiet for about five minutes until he stopped scrubbing and washed the face washer off. He came back to me with some more make up to put on because he had scrubbed most of it off.

"What will happen if someone saw us?" I asked as he dabbed foundation over my skin, in an attempt to cover up the red irritation that came from getting the skin rubbed so hard.

"Umm it depends who." He replied. "That worker that saw us I am not too worried about, unless she like sells her story to ET or something. But usually press hang around places like this before concerts, and if they've taken any photos of us or anything we're screwed. They'll be published in magazines and splashed across television screens. Dita will not be impressed."

"I thought you didn't care about her anymore."

"Are you kidding? I said I regret proposing to her now that I've met you. Not that I don't care about her. She's amazing and I do love her. I just wish you'd come back into my life sooner. I don't want to hurt her."

"Right. But you'll hurt me, right? Because I am not a Hollywood-known-Queen-of-Burlesque. I'm just a second woman for you. I come second to you."

"Well... no... But... In all fairness you didn't really try to talk to me anymore. And I've been with Dita for four years now. I can't just ditch her. I really do love her, but I love you too."

"Well in all fairness you're the one that ditched me in the first place! You can't have us both Manson so it's time to decide. And I'm pretty sure that to you I am just the girl who you can hook up with in limos and call once in a while. I am not suited to you like Dita is. Right?"

"Ches don't do this now, please." Manson begged, his face crinkling in pain. "I have just gotten you back and I need you with me while you can be."

"Answer the question and I'll stay."

"Don't make me pick. Either way I'm hurting someone I love."

"Who?" I asked, my anger mounting. I felt so horrible causing this pain to him. He looked genuinely sad. But I couldn't continue this if he didn't have the same hopes as me. I had to know.

"Dita." He mumbled, his head flew into his hands and my heart cracked. I hated crying in front of people. I never cried around others. I had to get out of there, because looking at Manson much longer would make me burst. I tore out of the room as Tony and Demi entered. I couldn't help but notice, even in my state, how swollen her lip was. At least someone's happy. I thought.

"Chesney! Chesney come back!" Demi cried, running after me down the corridor. I heard someone else running just in front of her.

"Chesney wait!" I heard Manson cry. He must have passed Demi as he said, "Demi let me."

I ran out onto the street with out so much as a turn back toward Manson. I knew from childhood how much faster he ran than me. His legs had always been long and skinny. I knew any second he'd catch up to me, so I darted off the footpath into a bush and hid until I saw him run past. Then I started retracing my steps back to the venue to get Demi and to leave. I was not wasting my time staring at the man I wanted more than anything when I could never be more to him than the whore he cheats on his wife with. I couldn't be the other woman.

I had forgotten from childhood how smart Manson was. That second he was in front of me, obviously picking up on my tactic of losing him. Why was he even talking to me on the street? Why was he even bothering to talk to me full stop?

"Chesney. Please. You don't understand what I meant."

I ignored him and focused on getting back inside. I felt embarrassed and stupid.

"Chesney." He said again, his voice lined with annoyance and pain. "I didn't mean that to me you're only the other woman. I don't expect you to be the source of only sex and cheap intimacy. I mean I love you, but I can't. Don't you get it? I can't help how I feel but I can help not acting on them. I can't act on you."

Tears started to form behind my eyelids as I felt my stomach plummeting towards my feet in sadness and my heart breaking more and more with every second I looked at him. I turned my face away, and my body, starting to walk back down a street I didn't know toward the bush I jumped in to hide from the man I have always loved. This time Manson didn't follow me. He just stood on the side walk. I turned around once before I left him again. When he saw my face, how damp it was, the tracks made by my mascara staining my cheeks, his own eyes watered as he turned away from me, walking slowly back towards Tony and his life that didn't include me. I looked back to the road I didn't know. To my future with out Marilyn Manson.