Never Cover up What We Did With a Dress

I eventually found my way back to the McDonald's I met Manson in for the first time in five years. My car was still parked in the parking lot. I made my way over to it and tried to open the door. That's when I remembered Demi had the keys. I sighed a frustrated sigh, the tears unable to be stopped at this point and freely flowing down my face. Everything about this day was so stupid. Driving down to Florida when it wasn't even needed, attempting to see the guy I have loved all my life and still do, meeting him again in McDonalds, the car breaking down, getting my heart broken, hooking up in the back of a car, forgetting my keys. Nothing was going right. I leaned against the driver's door of my car and looked up to the sky with my eyes closed. Even with the skin covering my eye tears poured out. I just wanted to be home, on my bed, howling into my pillow right now.

Or with Manson. Kissing him, feeling his skin against mine, tasting him, smelling his warm scent, exploring him. Being apart from him for even a second was too much. I had to get into my car and leave, now, before I act on my feelings again and end up trampled and crushed. I couldn't let him back into my life. My plan was simple. I go to Hard Rock and get someone in there to bring Demi out. No contact with Manson, no hurt feelings. I just had to suck it up and go back to the building that broke my heart. Easy.

I sucked in a sharp breath and started walking quickly back to Hard Rock. I was about a block or so away when I saw the same big, black car Manson was in with me less than an hour ago. My lips were still buzzing from his contact. I kept my head down, not looking at the car that was cruising slowly on the other side of the road. The brakes slammed on all of a sudden, indicated to me by the immediate sign of the brake light flashing in the corner of my eye. Demi hopped out first. She ran over to me. The clouds started to drop with rain.

"Chesney! What the hell is wrong? You've been crying. What's wrong?" She said.

I sniffed and tried my best to stop crying but I couldn't. If I saw Manson again I would snap at him. I wouldn't be able to stop and that scared me. I mumbled to Demi a very basic story of what had happened.

"That's what Manson said." She muttered back to me. "Baby. You said you didn't love him anymore."

"As if you believed that!" I cried, looking back at the car. Manson was standing behind it, staring at me. The tears gushed down my face, each one breaking my heart more and more as they fell and landed on the ground.

"You're right. I didn't."

I couldn't even hear Demi's reply because I was storming across the road to Manson. He couldn't treat me like this. I had had enough.

"You!" I cried. "Who do you think you are exactly? You think it's fine to break someone's heart over and over? You knew how I felt about you all through high school. You knew! And then you push me aside in your life with no warning what so ever! One day we're best friends and the next you've barred my calls! I finally come to see you again and you use me. Don't you see how much all of that hurts, Manson? Don't you see I love you and I always have?" My head was spinning and I found it hard to stand. I edged closer to him. He grasped my hand as I fell over, into his chest. His arms wrapped around my shaking body.

"I'm sorry Chesney." He whispered in my ear. "I am so, so sorry." My head rested on his chest as I cried harder. He smoothed my damp hair back. The rain made my clothes stick to me. I looked over at Demi who was standing on the other side of the road, her face was frozen in a heart broken pout and her eyes were watering because she knew my pain. She knew that what we did, what we were doing now was crazy. She felt to blame for my broken heart.

"I can't stay away from you," Manson said, "I've tried and I can't. I love you Chesney. I love you so much more than Dita but I still love her too. I don't know what I can do."

"Leave her for me."

"I can't Chesney."

"Well then you can't have me."

"I know." He said. "But you'll always be in my memory."

With that, his arms let go of me, and he walked back to the car, shattering the last of my dreams.