Mental Fiction Follows Me

I stepped outside of the building and was instantly greeted by the blinding sun. I scrunched my eyes together and searched my many pockets for something to help out. My fingers finally wrapped around a pair of stolen sunglasses and I pushed them onto my face. I couldn't exactly remember whose sunglasses they were. I just picked them up on my way off the bus this morning. My feet drug as I walked across the parking lot, and the keys in my hand felt like they were going to burn right through my flesh.

"Feeling morbid today, Syd?" Sage asked in her usual sarcastic tone.

"Nope, I feel just fine and dandy!"

"Just ignore her, Syd. We both know you're feeling upset," Lillian said.

"Why do I have to be ignored? She was being a little morbid!"

"She has a right to be morbid!"

"Just like I have a right to be mean!"

"Both of you shut up!" I slung the car door open and threw myself into the driver's seat. Then I slammed the door and banged my head on the steering wheel.

"God-fucking-dammit mother fucking son of a whore fucking piece of shit fucking Christ son-of-a-damn bitch cock sucking fuck!" I screamed. My throat burned from the sudden outburst, but I felt surprisingly better.

"You are going to hell on so many levels," Sage said with a small laugh.

"It's a good thing you've always wanted to play Twister with the Devil then, huh?" I asked as I put the car in reverse.

"You're both insane."

"And damn proud of it!" Sage and I yelled together.

My driving wasn't the best, seeing as how I hadn't really driven in the past ten or so years. I managed not to kill myself while driving at a speed over the legal limit, but I was in a hurry. I kept waiting for a cop to pull me over and ask me if I had known what I was doing wrong. I had a whole speech laid out, and I knew it would work. I was still wearing my uniform, so there was no doubt that it would work. He'd get embarrassed and apologize, and then I'd tell him it was okay before speeding back towards my destination.

No one pulled me over; not a single cop. I even passed a donut shop and no one rushed outside to chase me down. So what if I was going twenty over the speed limit? Those must have been some damn good donuts...

"Focus, Syd! Stop!" Lillian yelled. I slammed on the brakes, and I heard the small screeching sound as the car slid a few more feet. My seatbelt locked as I flew forward and nearly choked me, and then my head slammed back into the headrest.

"Nice going, Sydney," Sage said as she laughed.

"Fuck you." Lillian stayed silent. I pulled the seatbelt off and got out of the car, lightly rubbing the spot where the seatbelt had held me. I was halfway up the driveway when I heard a familiar voice.

"Sydney?" Eyes the same shade of brown as my own studied me, and they instantly started filling with tears as they raked over my clothes.

"Hi, Momma," I said quietly.

"Why are you wearing that? You're not leaving for a few days. You promised me you wouldn't wear that," Mom said as tears tracked down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Momma. They said a few days, but my orders got changed. I'm leaving today. Sarge let me borrow a car so I could see you before I leave," I said.

"No, no, no, no..." Mom mumbled as she crumbled. I managed to catch her before she could hit the ground, and I felt her short nails digging into the sides of my neck as she clung to me. She kept repeating "no" in my ears as she cried, and I wanted to scream out in pain as I felt something warm seep down my neck.

"It's going to be alright. It's okay. Everything's going to be okay. Let's get you in the house, hmm?" I whispered in her ear. I was thankful that my mother was a small woman as I carefully picked her up in my ears, and she continued to cling to me and cry.

"Sally?" I heard someone ask as I stumbled through the door.

"Hiya, Mark," I mumbled to Mom's boyfriend.

"You. Can't. Go," Mom cried. I slowly walked through my uncle's house, doing my best not to fall over, and I eventually lowered my mother onto one of the couches in the living room. I had no choice but to sit down beside her as she continuously clutched at my neck.

"Sally, you need to let go of Sydney," Mark said quietly from her other side.

"No!" Mom screamed and tightened her grip around my neck. My body was jerked forward, but I didn't say a word. Instead I ran my hands down Mom's back in an attempt to calm her.

"What's going on in here?" I heard Papa Gates asked.

"Sally, what's wrong?" Aunt Jan asked.

"They're taking her away from me again," Mom cried into the crook of my neck.

"But she's not leaving for a couple of days," Aunt Jan said quietly. I tried to talk, failed, cleared my throat, and tried again.

"My order's were changed. I'm leaving today," I managed to get out. Mom cried harder at hearing my words again, and I started whispering in her ear. I watched Papa Gates make a few hand movements, and then everyone slowly started backing out of the room. Within seconds me and Mom were alone. The last time we'd be alone for a year.

Jimmy's POV:

My hands searched for the warm body that was usually next to mine and felt nothing but cool sheets. I struggled to open my eyes, and my eyebrows drew together in confusion as I noticed the small space was empty. I tried to think of where she could be, and then I remembered everything that had happened this morning. She had left; she was gone.

"I'm allowed to be sad, dipshit!" I heard Aiden yell. I stuck my head out of the curtain and saw her and Johnny standing nearby.

"I didn't say you weren't!" Johnny yelled back.

"Hey! Some people are trying to be sad in silence!" I yelled. They both turned to look at me, and I saw that Aiden's eyes were a little bloodshot.

"Sorry, Jimmy," Aiden whispered.

"No, I'm sorry, it was my fault," Johnny mumbled and ran his hands over his face. Aiden took both of his hands in her own and said something quietly to him, and I disappeared back into my bunk to give them some privacy. I stared up at the ceiling and sighed, alone.

Syd's POV:

"Do you have to go, sweetie?" Mom asked as she stared up at me. I was only about four inches taller than her, but right now she looked so small.

"Yes, but I'm coming back. I don't care what anyone tells you, I will come home," I said as I looked into her eyes. She had been calm for the past twenty minutes, but I was still waiting for her to break down again.

"Okay. I'll be here waiting for you, and you better write me," Mom said as she pulled me to her. I wrapped my arms around her and dropped my head to her shoulder.

"Of course I'll write to you," I said. I sucked in a deep breath, so I could try and remember her scent.

"Bye, Syd," Mom said as she finally released me. I took a step back and gave her one of my bright smiles.

"See you later, Momma." I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before jogging back to the car. I didn't let out a breath until she was out of sight.

I drove a lot slower this time, so I didn't have to worry about making my rehearsed speech to any pissed off police officers. Despite my slow driving, I arrived back at base a lot sooner than I would have liked. My heart gave an extra-hard thud as I pulled into the parking lot; it was as if it knew that I was taking it to the place that would take it away from all the people it loved. I pulled the car back into the space that it had originally come from, and then I drug myself out of it and towards the building. It didn't take long to reach my destination, and before long I was standing in front of a familiar desk. He told me to call him "Jake".

"I'm guessing everything went well," Jake said as he stared at my neck. Yeah, I had looked in a mirror before leaving the house. I had a couple of deep scratches on either side of my neck, but none of them were bleeding anymore.

"Mom didn't take it too well, but she'll be okay. It's just a year, right?" I asked with a small smile. I know Jake could see right through me, because he didn't smile back. Instead he wrapped his fingers around my hand as I handed him his keys and said, "You'll make it, kid, and everything will be alright." I knew right then that he was wrong.