Mental Fiction Follows Me

"Deep breaths, Syd," Lillian said repeatedly.

"You're making it worse, Lils! Let the woman breathe however she wants," Sage said quickly.

"I'm fine guys, seriously. I think you two are more wound up than I am," I said.

"How are you not nervous?"

"Yeah, what gives?"

"Because I already know I'm going to be with Jimmy forever, that's final. This is just the ceremonial part of the whole thing. No biggie," I said.

"Syd, you okay?" I quickly turned around and looked behind me. Papa Gates was standing in the opening to the tent-like thing I was in, and I smiled at him.

"I'm fine," I said and gave a quick nod of my head.

"Well, are you ready?" he asked.

"Just one more minute. Wait right there!" I said and walked to the other side of the tent. I bent down to look into the small mirror that was in here for me. I couldn't help but to smile at my reflection. My hair was down, just the way Jimmy loved it. I knew the sun would catch the lightest streaks and turn my usually brown hair golden. My pale eyes were abnormally bright and wide, but I knew Jimmy would recognize the love-filled look.

I've been home for about eleven months now, and today is October 13. So much has happened since I've gotten home. Matt and Nikkita had a beautiful little boy last August, and little Seth James Sanders is now three months old. Robert and Tara decided to have a double wedding with Craig and Tiana last June, so I'm now the fourth girl of our group to get married. Aiden's going to be the sixth, since Johnny finally popped the question. Krys won't be far after her, especially since Monte has her brothers' blessing. Deandra and Max are still waiting, but it won't be long before they're married because they're already inseperable. Ryanne and Oli are waiting too, but Ryanne has already asked Zacky to walk her down the aisle. Speaking of Zacky, him and Brian are still together, but they're taking things easy.

One of the main things though, is that I haven’t had a single nightmare in ten months. I haven’t had one since I saw my memorial for the first time and talked to Kaitlyn Lutz. For the first week, I kept waiting for the nightmares to return. They never did. I started sleeping through whole night without waking up. I was normal again. Well, about as normal as I can get. That’s not all though. The best surprise is—

"Syd! We don't have much time left!" Papa Gates said from behind me. I turned around and walked towards him, and I gave him a small smile.

"Fine, I'm ready," I said and looped my arm through his. Papa Gates smiled down at me, and I smiled back up at him. He gave my arm a quick pat, and then we stepped out of the opening of the tent.

I saw my mother first, and she was already crying. Mark had his arm around her, and he gave me a big smile as I started walking. Julie and Chase were standing next to them, and they were both smiling proudly at me. Aunt Jan was standing on Mom's other side, and I saw that both of their knuckles were white. Beyond them were my friends. No, my family. My girls and guys all stood looking at me, smiling. I saw a few tears in their eyes, and then my eyes strayed closer to the ground. Devin was standing next to Matt, and Seth was in a stroller right in front of him. Devin gave me two thumbs-up as I walked past him.

My eyes lifted back up and connected with Jimmy's. His clear blue eyes stayed focused on mine, and I realized that I could look into those eyes forever. I stopped right beside him, and Papa Gates gave my arm one last squeeze before walking off. Jimmy was dressed in a pair of black slacks (surprisingly not ripped) and a long sleeved black dress shirt. The first few buttons were undone, and I could just make out the top part of the "F" on his chest. As for me, I was a tad more traditional. My dress was white, and it stopped right above my knees. My tanned tattooed arms stood out against the whiteness of it, and my feet were bare.

Jimmy's fingers entwined through mine, and I felt a small shock as his skin touched mine. Even now, he still has that affect on me. I tightened my fingers around his and continued to stare into his eyes. It's amazing that I even knew what the preacher was saying. I did know when it was my turn to talk though, and I said a very loud "I do!" Jimmy replied the same way, and our friends laughed along with us.

"I now pronounce you, man and wife!" the preacher yelled. I never heard the "you may now kiss the bride" part, but it wasn't needed. I threw myself into Jimmy's arms and pushed my lips against his. Jimmy's lips moved over mine, and for a little while, it was just me and him. Then a few catcalls cut through the magic.

"I love you," Jimmy breathed against my moist lips.

"I love you too," I whispered back. I gave him one more quick kiss before we mingled with the crowd.

After talking to everyone for a little while, I walked away from the crowd and towards the edge of the beach. It was sunset, and I loved how the setting sun looked against the softly crashing waves. It was absolutely beautiful. Maybe not as beautiful as the night sky, but it was a very close second. My hand absently went to my still small stomach, and I rubbed softly. A moment later, a callused hand covered mine and spread its fingers across my stomach.

"I can't wait to meet him," Jimmy whispered in my ear. I leaned back against him and breathed in his familiar scent.

"What if it's a she?" I asked.

"Then I can't wait to meet her," Jimmy said. He propped his chin on my shoulder and continued to rub my stomach as I looked out at the ocean. One of my favorite songs came to me, and the lyrics slipped past my lips without meaning to.

"Mental fiction follows me..." I felt Jimmy smile against the side of my neck before softly whispering the last line.

"Show me what it's like to be set free."