Mental Fiction Follows Me

I watched a bird fly overhead, and then I returned my attention to the crashing waves in front of me. It felt like déjà vu, since I had been here just this morning. Now here I was, one hour later, in the exact same spot. There was one major difference, and it stuck out like a sore thumb.

This morning I had been at peace and was happy. I had been in California for a month, and I hadn’t had any more nightmares. Well, I hadn’t woken anyone up with my nightmares in the past month. Aiden and I were staying with Brian, since he refused to let us buy a house of our own when there was nothing wrong with his. I got along with all of Brian’s friends, and so did Aiden. I had met Mark about three weeks ago, and I was convinced that he was perfect for my mother. They looked so happy together, and I knew there had never been a reason to worry.

Now things were all flipped around. Aiden had found me on the beach and brought me back to Papa Gates’s house, where everyone was waiting. By everyone, I mean, Brian and his friends, Mom and Mark, Papa Gates and Aunt Jan, and Aiden and me. Brian had done most of the talking. He wanted Aiden and me to go on tour with him and his friends. All of the guys quickly nodded their heads. Mom had told me to go ahead and have fun, and of course she told me not to worry about her. I had said I would think about it and came back here.

So far, I’ve gotten nowhere.

”Quit being such a scaredy-cat! Where’s the fearless Syd who could take on anything?” Sage asked.

”She’s buried somewhere in Iraq. Why don’t you go look for her?”

”Just ignore her, Syd. It’s perfectly normal to be a little scared,” Lillian said softly.

”I’m NOT scared!”

”And I’m president.”

”Sage!”

“Syd?” I tipped my head back and stared up at the person standing next to me. They smiled and then plopped down on the sand beside me. Bright green eyes met mine, and I could see the layer of red underneath the black as the wind blew.

“Hello, Nikkita,” I said and gave her a tiny smile.

“Hey,” she said and looked out at the ocean.

“So...”

“I know this will probably sound weird coming from me, since we don’t know each other that well and everything, but it’s okay to be a little scared,” Nikkita said. I could see her peak through her curtain of hair out of the corner of my eye. I was tempted to scream the same thing I had screamed at Lillian, but I decided against it.

“I was scared the first time I went touring with the guys too, because I didn’t know what to expect. You’ll be fine though. You’ll have me and Aiden, and the guys aren’t so bad,” Nikkita said.

“It’s a bit more complicated than that,” I said.

”Talk about understatement of the year.” I ground my teeth together and fought the urge to start arguing. Sage was probably messing with my emotions again.

“I thought Brian said you didn’t have any more nightmares?” Nikkita asked.

“I still have nightmares, I just don’t scream,” I said and smiled. It probably came off as a sadistic smile, but isn’t that how crazy people are supposed to smile?

“I’m sure you’d do fine, unless there’s another problem,” Nikkita said cautiously.

”Whew! What’s with all the understatements today? I guess today just isn’t-”

“Would you shut up?!” I yelled. My eyes went wide and my lips slammed back together.

“Excuse me?” Nikkita said with a hurt and pissed off tone. I looked over at her and sighed.

“I wasn’t talking to you,” I mumbled.

“Then who the hell were you talking to?” Nikkita demanded.

”Just tell her, hun. I know she’ll listen,” Lillian said.

“I was talking to Sage,” I said and studied her face. Her eyebrows came together, and her lips formed a thin line.

“Sage?”

“I’ve been hearing voices ever since I was a little girl,” I said, trying to explain.

“Voices?”

“Just two, Sage and Lillian. They’re kinda like my conscious, you know? Sage is the bad side, and Lillian is the good side.”

“Wow...that’s just...wow...”

“It’s weird, I know,” I said and shrugged.

“Who else knows?” Nikkita asked. I was surprised she hadn’t went running and screaming yet.

“Mom, Brian, and Aiden. My dad heard voices too, so I guess it’s hereditary.”

“Where’s your dad now?”

“His voices turned on him. He went insane and died in an institution not long after I was born.”

“Oh, Syd, I’m sorry,” Nikkita said and placed her hand over mine.

“It’s okay. Sage and Lillian would never turn on me. They just piss me off sometime,” I said and smiled.

“Can they hear me?” Nikkita asked.

”Loud and clear!” I rubbed the side of my head and looked over at Nikkita.

“Yeah, they can hear you. They hear whatever I hear, and they know all of my thoughts. Like I said, they’re the two parts of me. I think that makes me a schizo,” I said with a small laugh. Nikkita joined me and nodded her head.

“So, does this mean you’ll go on tour with us?” Nikkita asked.

”What do you have to lose? I say, let’s go for it!”

”She finally has some sense!” I looked up to see that Nikkita was already standing.

“Yeah, I’ll go,” I said and smiled.

“Yes!” Nikkita yelled and pulled me up. She looped her arm around my shoulders and started pulling me back towards Brian’s house. I guess it’s time to pack.