900 Thousand Times I Would...

"WE'RE BACCKKK!" Brendon sang, coming through the door.

Spencer and Jon were seated on the couch, for once actually not attached by the hips or lips. "Hey, guys. How was your trip?" Jon questioned.

Ryan had been following Brendon, dragging his piece of luggage behind him. "Pretty sweet," he answered.

"I'm not even going to ask you how your little two days was here, because I already know the answer. I'm going to burn my sheets now," Brendon announced, heading into his room.

"Um, Ryan, there's something we need to tell you..." Spencer trailed off.

"Aw, you're pregnant! Congratulations!" Ryan exclaimed, hugging his friend.

Spencer pushed the smaller boy off of him. "No. Pe-"

"Get out of our room right now!" they heard Brendon screech.

Oh fuck.

"Brendon, calm down, I just wanna-"

"Get out!" Brendon repeated.

"Is that... is that Pete in there?" Ryan demanded. "Spence, you should know better!" He felt as if he was about to cry, and they walls were closing and crashing around him.

"Ryan, I know, I'm sorry, but he came like two hours ago and wanted to talk to you. We tried to kick him out, but he wouldn't go," Spencer explained.

Ryan huffed, trying not to break down. "I'm going to go drive somewhere. I refuse to come back until he leaves," he stated shortly, making his way out of the cabin. Who did he think he was? He couldn't just bust in there in demand to see him after three weeks of nothing.

Back in Brendon and Ryan's room, the conversation was heated.

"I just want to talk to him," Pete replied. He was trying to get Brendon to calm down, because he knew how he got when he got mad.

"I don't give a fuck what you want. Get out of our house right now. You have no right to touch, come near, breath on, or even look in Ryan's direction," Brendon told him.

"So, he told you, then?" Pete asked, his fringe of back hair going into his eyes.

"Of course he did!" Brendon shouted. "We're best friends! And maybe that's something you can't understand because you suck at relationships of any kind, but don't think that he wouldn't tell me something as important as you being an asshole!" His cheeks were beginning to turn red in his fury. He usually never got mad; the last time he was this pissed was when Spencer ate his candy. He wasn't going to let Pete fucking swoop in there, tell Ryan he was sorry and for everything to be okay. He knew Ryan would take him back in a heart beat, and he couldn't let that happen. Pete would just end up hurting him again.

"Listen, you don't get it. I loved Ryan. I still love Ryan. But I'm not going to ask for him to take me back. I know he deserves better. He deserves someone who can take care of him and give him what he needs. I can't do that, because I can't even take care of myself. He needs you, Brendon," Pete said.

Brendon stood there, blinking. "Um... I'm not... we're not... I'm not into him like that..." he trailed off confusedly.

"You're... you're joking, right?" Pete chuckled. "Just tell him that I'm sorry, okay? And remember what I said." He began to walk out of the room, swaying his hips naturally, leaving Brendon completely confused.

Brendon finally got his barrings and walked out into the living room to see Spencer and Jon sitting on the couch. "Did he leave?" he questioned their worried faces.

"Which one?" Jon asked.

"... What do you mean, 'Which one'?" Brendon demanded.

"Well, they both left," Jon answered, looking sort of frightened.

"Where did Ryan go?" Brendon questioned.

"I don't know," Spencer said, "He just said he was going out to drive somewhere."

Brendon began to pace, getting worried. Who knows what Ryan would do when he got upset? "So you guys know the situation, right?"

Spencer nodded. "I've known since it started, and I kind of had to explain what was going on to Jon this morning when Pete came."

Brendon was already speed-dialing Ryan's phone number, and he waited, holding his breath. "Please pick up," he whispered fervently. It began ringing, and he prayed. Please let him pick up. If something happened, I wouldn't be able to live...

"Brendon," Spencer called.

"Shh," Bren stated, trying to hold on to the phone the best he could without freaking out.

"It's ringing in the bag," Jon whispered.

Brendon lifted his head up away from his phone, listening. Indeed, he heard faint ringing from where Ryan's bag was lying, forgotten on the floor. That was when Brendon began to have an anxiety attack. He could barely breathe, and it felt like he was falling down a hole. He was crying without the tears; he felt as though he was going to puke at any moment. Every noise was too loud, and he was just standing there, looking as if he was having a heart attack.

"Brendon, are you okay?" he heard Spencer's voice ask. It was so loud; he wanted to claw his ears out.

He sat on the floor with his head between his knees, trying to calm himself, trying to get enough air. His throat was just so dry.

"Brendon, breathe," Jon coaxed.

Brendon tried to do what he was telling him, but his brain wasn't computing. He just kept thinking about Ryan crying and crashing into a tree because he wasn't paying attention or something equally as horrifying. "I have to go out and look for him," he whispered.

He felt Spencer rub his back and hand him a glass of water. Brendon looked into the glass as if it was something foreign. "Drink it, Bren," he urged.

Brendon took a small sip and relaxed slightly. "I need to find him," he repeated.

Jon shook his head and lifted him us in his arms. "Take a nap and he'll be here when you wake up," he assured him, setting him on his bed.

"You promise?"

"I promise."

Brendon scampered from his bed and into Ryan's instead, thankful his scent still littered the sheets. "Okay," Brendon mumbled, closing his eyes, suddenly exhausted.

Jon looked down at Brendon and sighed. He's got it bad, he thought, going back into the living room to join Spencer.