900 Thousand Times I Would...

Jon stormed in, avoiding everyone and walking straight toward the room he and Spencer shared. He wasn't in the mood for more bullshit, so he closed the door behind him, hoping everyone would take the hint that he didn't want to talk.

Apparently, not everyone took the hint, because two seconds later he heard the door open.

"Go away, Spencer," Jon mumbled.

"How did you even know it was me?" Spencer asked.

"Because I know you, that's why," Jon replied, covering his face with his hands and sighing, his back still to the other man. What he really wants to do is punch Spencer in his fucking stupid face.

"Jon," Spencer whispered, putting his hand lightly on his arm.

Jon curses into his palms. "Dammit, what do you want?" he questioned.

"I'm sorry," Spencer told him, trailing his fingers down to his elbow.

Jon shrugged out of Spencer's touch. "Don't touch me," he said.

Spencer bit the corner of his lip. "I'm an asshole, I know. I'm sorry," he apologized.

Finally turning to face him, Jon removes his hands from his face. "I can't take it anymore. You keep jerking me around, and I just... I need to be serious. I don't want to screw around anymore," Jon informed him.

Spencer scratched at the back of his neck. "I know you think that I just keep treating it like it's nothing, but... I just care about you too much. I'm scared." Spencer said the last part so low that he was barely heard.

"Are you joking?! Dude, what the fuck? I'm scared too, but you don't see me acting like a dick about it. I'm doing my best to make this work, and you're giving me nothing," Jon informed him.

"I know. You should have better than me. I'm not... I'm not what you need," Spencer murmured.

"I don't want better. I don't want what I need. I want what I want. Does that make sense?" Jon asked.

Spencer looked at him. "Ya, I think so." Spencer bore into Jon's eyes with his baby blues. "I love you."

And with that, everything was fixed. Jon pushed Spencer against the wall and began ferociously making out with him.

"Ew!" Brendon whisper-yelled from the other side of the door. "That's sick! I can hear their nasty mouths at work!"

Ryan smirked. "Let's leave them be," he instructed, pulling Brendon away.

* * * *

Ryan was a thinking sort of person. He thought a lot. Every damn second, actually, which was one of the reasons he had such trouble sleeping. That was something he and Pete had in common.

So, now, he was obsessing over what Spencer had told him earlier that day about Brendon "loving him". He scoffed inwardly. Like that could happen. Brendon was his complete opposite. He was a child, and Ryan was mature. That's just a recipe for disaster, really.

And even if Brendon liked Ryan in that way (if being the operative word here), like Brendon would ever say anything about it. He might have been flamboyant and loved being the center of attention, but that didn't mean he went around to everyone and talked about his feelings. Really. He was completely shy when it came to things like that. They didn't even know he had been dating Audrey until after they broke up. He just wasn't open with his love life. Ryan supposed that was something they had in common. He was always very private with things that went on behind closed doors.

Okay, moving a step forward. Let's say that a lightning bolt struck the earth and Brendon decided to out his "feelings" for Ryan. Then what would happen?

Tapping on his knee, Ryan groaned. What if that happened? What would he do? Would he say he felt the same, kiss him passionately, and ride into the sunset?

Did he feel the same? Did he love Brendon?

Well, ya, duh he loved Brendon. Brendon was his best friend. He knew what to do when Ryan was sick and when to back the fuck off (he might have known when to back off, but that didn't mean that he did). They had been through so much together since they first met four years ago. The ups and downs of touring, the act of kicking Brent out of the band, the tortures that success gave Ryan. They had been through it all together, and never hesitated to kick the world in the ass. They were a team: RyRoandBden, RyanandBrendon, RyHoandBrennyBear. They were Team Rydon, and together, they were unstoppable.

But did he connect romantically with him?

They held hands, hugged, and kissed each other's cheeks all the time. They sort of did act like a couple, Ryan realized, just without the making out and shit. Ryan felt that Brendon was attractive (I mean, hello, who doesn't? Even Spencer admitted he'd tap that) and that he had the most perfectly full lips he had ever seen. Even better than any girls. They were perfectly pink and plump, and they were hott. He had beautiful eyes too. Even though they were brown, they were big and surrounded by long lashes (which Brendon continually liked to flutter). He had a great body: not too skinny, but not particularly muscular either. His his, Lord, his perfect curved hips, and damn, that ass...

Oh God. He liked Brendon. He wanted to fuck Brendon.

He inwardly smacked himself. Ya right. Brendon was his best friend. That would not happen. Plus, he wasn't ready for another relationship, not after the trauma Pete had given him. He really just didn't think he could go through something similar. He just couldn't.

Just a phase, just a phase, just a-

"RyRo! Let's go out!" Brendon called from the other room.

"Why?!" Ryan asked.

"Cuz Joncer's kicking us out!" Brendon replied.

Ryan got up and found Bren sitting on the living room counter. Ryan raised an eyebrow and pointed to the floor.

Brendon slid from the counter as he had been nonverbally instructed to. "Where do you wanna go?" he questioned.

Ryan shrugged, trying not tostare at Brendon's lips let his former thoughts creep into his mind. "Let's go see a movie. Just me and you," he suggested.

Brendon gave him a mind-blowing smile. "I'll get my keys."