Beyond Sleepless Dreams

I was in a field of sunflowers, and all these other different flowers. I was surrounded by all kinds of beauty. I remembered, as I laid there, it was the place that jesse took me to, it was how he saved me from the dancing flames upon me. I remembered the burning and I also remembered that this moment wasn't going to last, because the force was coming after us and that we were going to die, we were going to have to see our loved ones suffer. At least we were dying together, but I wasn't at ease. I would join my mother, my grandparents, and my distant cousin, but I would be leaving a loving group I called my family. I looked up at the sky, it was a piercing red.

The color that represented the bleeding fire, my bleeding soul, my sacrifice for life.

I was at the beach again, and I could just make out the fire from the distance over by the water. It was teasing me and trying to tell me that the force was going to win, but I would fight, me and jesse would fight to the end, no matter what the outcome. If it ended in death, then we tried, but if it ended with life, it would be a miracle and maybe everything would disappear and turn to dust and ashes. I stepped out into the water and looked around, expecting jesse to come to me soon. It wasn't a very good idea, but I had something better to make us go on.

We had to just simply believe.

Pain striked me again as I thought of everyone we would leave behind if we didn't win the force over. My father, meri, mitch, kate, benji, and the rest of my distant family members that meant more to me that myself. There was so much ahead of me and I could feel it, I could feel the faith behind the fear washing over me. I walked backwards towards the shore and sat in the sand, trying to close my eyes and open them again to wake up in reality, back into my bed, where I belonged. I screamed jesse's name, surely loud enough for him to hear. I could sense it echoing in my mind, and also in his. I imagined where he would possibly have been, what he was doing, what he was thinking. He was probably thinking of me more than himself, which was a sad thought in my mind.

I returned to the forest and I looked around for any sign of him. The fire was getting closer and closer, I could feel it's flames under my skin, though it was still considered far away from my body. I felt as if I was in an illusion, and maybe I was, but I became so real, so real that it brought tears. I wanted to close my eyes and wake up and hear that everything was going to be fine, but it wasn't going to be unless I had faith. I closed my eyes once again, whispering to him, to tell him that we were going to have to believe, and have faith for our lives if we wanted to live on and wake from the nightmare.

By the time I knew it, the fire had already burned my skin and I was running, I kept running until my legs were aching, until they collapsed by the waterfall, where water soothed my burning body. I could see the smoke rising and the ashes fall from my hair. The fire went away, and I then found hope and faith within me. I realized just how much I loved to be alive, to be with jesse and how much I loved him, how I would do anything to save his life and save my own. A single tear of joy came just as I saw jesse running towards me. I ran up to him and we locked each other in each other's arms tightly, as if we were magnets.

I pulled away from him, grabbing him tightly by the shoulders, hopefully not enough to hurt him. I saw scars on his face but tried to see past them as I looked into his eyes, because in reality, he had no flaws, not a single one in my mind.

"Jesse, don't be afraid, we will make it, do you understand me? Believe in me, just have faith that we will live, it's the only way out of this" I said to him calmly, swimming in his eyes of sorrow, trying to find the hope that I was feeling deep inside me. He swallowed and took a deep breath in and exhaled air out. I rubbed his shoulders as he meditated in his sleep.

"I believe you" He whispered softly. Our hands then combined as the tidal waves from the first nightmare came back to us and began to flood the forest, quickly pulling us under into the sea. We held onto each other, and I could see the look of hope and love on jesse's face and inside in eyes, his soul that he believed we would make it. I used all of my strength to keep a hold of him as we descended down to the very bottom of the ocean floor, the waves burying us. There was wind in fire all throughout as the clear, blue water smoothered us with it's liquid wrath, drowning us. I still felt as if we were going to live on no matter what. It looked so sorrowful, the moments with jesse, gripping him tight as we swayed under the waves.

Experiencing that, I then knew that even though we might die, that our love would still live on forever..

~

A white light came in, and I no longer felt the pain, the burn, the aching of all the beyond in the merciless dreams and misery. There was only warmth and I felt so alive as I realized all I could see was darkness, though there was still light behind it. I then found out that I truely was dead, that my spirit was living, though I didn't know where I was going. I was feeling so peaceful, but oddly, I felt as if I was sleeping, as if I were in my own bed. I couldn't see anyone... only darkness, black over black, no shapes, no colors, no faces.

"Wake up, felicia" I heard a voice, a voice of an angel, I didn't recogize the voice, I might have forgotten everything I have ever heard. The angel must have not have known that I was awake, that my spirit was walking in the darkeness, though there was a slight sliver of light trying to make it's way in.

My eyes opened, and I was no longer blind, I left the darkness and looked into the eyes of the angel, my angel.

"Jesse, it's over" I whispered to him. He nodded to me and smiled, touching my face with his fingers. Everything seemed to glow, it seemed as if we were in a spiritual world together. I smiled at him and told him that we were going to live forever, we won't live again.

"Felicia, we are alive"

Alive..

We made it through, and we won the brutal curse that was against us, and the darkness explained that my dreams were no more.