Make Believe

[[Mikey's POV]]

“You boys were amazing tonight,” Mrs. Bryar gushed for the millionth time, gazing at each of us members of My Chemical Romance individually. We grinned back of course, utterly grateful not only for her comments, but for this amazing home-cooked meal. It had been ages since I tasted anything so good; spaghetti and meatballs wasn’t necessarily my favorite food of all time; but for tonight, it certainly was.

Sitting around the large dining room table was the five of us, Mrs. Bryar, and three of Bob’s cousins that had attended the show tonight as well. They were chatting amongst themselves with Ray, going on and on about the grand opening of some hot new club downtown. Mrs. Bryar was fussing over Bob, going on and on about how he “wasn’t getting any younger, and she wanted grandbabies because she wasn’t going to be around forever.”

Bob’s face was as red as the leftover spaghetti sauce that was sitting on my plate, arguing with her that he wasn’t ready to settle down just yet. Frank and Gerard were seated apart from each other -- for my benefit, I’m sure, even though I assured them that it was unnecessary. They may as well have been seated next to each other, because the googly-eyes that they kept making at each other was really sickening; and more than once, they’d played footsie with me, instead of with each other. A month ago if this had happened, they’d simply pretend that it was meant for me, but tonight, those simple actions of two boys flirting with each other was anything but. I simply didn’t belong, and felt quite nauseous as that haunting, familiar feeling of solitude began creeping up inside of me again.

With a smile, I kindly excused myself from the table, and brought my near-empty plate with me to the sink, where I began to scrub the pieces of uneaten noodles and sauce off of it.

“Did you enjoy your dinner, Mikey?”

I smiled, turning to face Mrs. Bryar. She had a smile that lit up the room; her enthusiasm for our well-being was more than enough to make me forget about my momentary period of self-loathing.

“Of course,” I smiled back at her, and took the dishrag she offered me so I could dry my hands. “It was very delicious, thank you for making it for us. I hadn’t had a meal like that in forever.”

“I bet you haven’t. And Lord knows you can use a good meal like that every once in awhile. You’re so damn skinny!” She teased, pinching my waist. “Yep, you’re tiny as a toothpick. I’m gonna have to fatten you up.”

Grinning, she disappeared into the freezer, and emerged with a gallon of vanilla ice cream. She brought that and a bottle of chocolate syrup to the table, before scrambling to the cupboard and emerging with a big stack of bowls.

“Here,” I offered, stopping her before they toppled to the ground. “Let me take those for you,” I grinned at her, retrieving the large stack of bowls from her, as well as a bag of marshmallows. She patted my cheek and replied, “Thank you, dearie,” before scurrying around the kitchen to find more things for us to get ‘fattened up’ with.

Upon entering the dining room, I nearly dropped the bowls everywhere; I know my heart dropped as I walked in and saw Gerard and Frank making out -- very desperately, might I add -- looking as if any second now they would orgasm from the looks of what an amazing kiss it was. Gerard’s hands were wrapped tenderly on either side of Frank’s face, while Frank’s were on Gerard’s hips, securing my brother close to him.

I instantly felt my heart begin to ache; neither of them had ever kissed me that way. I’d never had a kiss that amazing before; one with absolute meaning and feeling behind it, not just lustful or for the sake of having someone to kiss.

“I’ll take those, Mikey,” Mrs. Bryar said, breaking me out of my trance as she took the bowls from me, and set them down on the table. Gerard and Frank instantly broke apart as the dishes made a sudden clatter, each of them blushing furiously upon being discovered.

“Dessert too?!” Gerard cried out, giving Bob’s mom a charming grin. She grinned at the two, raising an eyebrow.

“Not that this will be as sweet as that kiss you two were sharing just now, but yes; you boys get dessert, too.”

I could do nothing but smile to myself. I served absolutely no purpose but taking up space in the room, and felt utterly out of place as the two continued to snuggle together, completely ignoring the fact that I was even in the room. I averted my attention away from the cuddly couple, and instead watched as Mrs. Bryar began scooping ice cream out for everyone; graciously accepting my bowl and headed off with my chocolate syrup-covered mountain of ice cream, toward the living room where everyone else was located, discussing plans about going out to get drunk. My ears instantly perked up.

“Yo Mikey! You coming with us, man?” Bob asked, before discovering my giant mass of ice cream. “Where the fuck did you get that?”

“Here,” I said, handing it to him, forcing a smile upon my face. “I’m full. You can have mine.”

He took a big spoonful in his mouth, before mumbling something incoherently; about their plans, I’m sure. I glanced at him with a confused expression, before Ray cut in.

“We’re heading down to the brand new Angels & Kings they just opened up here in a little bit. We don’t have to be back ‘til three, and it’s only midnight. Let’s go make Chicago our bitch,” Ray suggested, rubbing my shoulders. He gave me a smile, before adding in a softer voice, “I think you could use the distraction.”

Obviously he was referencing to the star-crossed lovers making out in the kitchen. I nodded, grateful that someone could see how uncomfortable and left out I had been feeling. Maybe a trip to Chicago’s hottest new nightclub is exactly what I needed…

---

Thankfully, Gerard and Frank decided to stay behind. I knew they were probably getting it on in the extra bedroom in the Bryar household, but I didn’t care. Being away from them allowed me the freedom to breathe, to attempt to regain control of my life back. I am happy for them; for my brother and my best friend. I am ecstatic that they are finally happy, I just hate how they flaunt their obvious joy in my face. I know that I deserved it; but I do have feelings. It still hurts me to see the two men that I once loved so dearly, love each other much more than either ever claimed to love me back.

Sighing, I took a deep breath as the SUV full of Bryars, Ray and I pulled up to the valet line to the newest Angels & Kings location, and climbed out. Young girls immediately flocked to us, screaming our names and pulling on our clothes.

A bouncer instantly ushered us toward the side, pushing the underage girls and spectators that had gathered behind the barricade, and looked us up and down. “Names?”

“Bob Bryar, Mikey Way, and Ray Toro,” Bob stated for us, as the bouncer looked over the clipboard he held in his hands.

“You’re not on the list, though you boys do look like familiar. What band are you with?” He asked, eyeing us intently.

“My Chemical Romance,” Ray replied, as the bouncer’s eyes widened.

“We’re friends with Pete,” I added, to which our bouncer friend instantly nodded.

“Right this way, sirs,” he gushed, ushering us inside. Smiling, we all walked past him, even Bob’s cousins because they were our ‘entourage’ for the night.

Upon entering, I instantly sighed with relief. I had gotten ready at Bob’s mother’s house before we had gotten here, so I was feeling and looking my best. I was feeling quite daring tonight; I wanted to feel free, to let go of the past few wasted years of my life.

Tonight was the night I officially severed the ties that connected me romantically with Gerard and Frank, and found my own happiness, even if I had to find some random guy to prove as a distraction from them, or had to swallow an entire bottle of top shelf tequila. Or if I played my cards right, I could even wind up scoring some really amazing type of designer drug. My body was tingling with anticipation of the events to come, but I couldn’t let the guys know what I was up to; especially with that last scenario.

“We’ll catch up in a bit, alright?” I said to the group, before ducking out and making my way toward the bar.

The bartender was a sweet looking blonde girl, who made her way over toward me with a wide smile. “Hello, Mr. Way,” she greeted me, an obvious grin in her friendly tone. “It’s such a pleasure to have you with us! What can I get you?”

“You can call me Mikey,” I grinned at her, before ordering my A&K favorite; the Black Mamba. I frequented the New York location quite often and had become addicted to these some time ago.

“Sure thing,” she grinned, ducking away to make my weapon of choice for me. I took this opportunity to turn around, surveying the scene. It was a typical crowd, nobody really stood out to me. Sighing, I turned back to the bartender, whose name was Michelle, and graciously accepted my drink from her. I gave her my credit card so she could set up a tab for me, and headed off to begin my first adventure for the night…

---

The night sure didn’t exactly go as I had planned. After having eight large cups full of my favorite drunken concoction, the Black Mamba’s venomous liquor is now swimming through my veins; and I am feeling the exact opposite of how amazing I am supposed to be feeling. I felt all of the overwhelming emotions from my failed relationships with Frank and Gerard coming back to me full force, and it fucking sucked.

I felt so low, that I didn’t even want to be here anymore. No guys, no drugs, and no amount of liquor can ever take away the pain and emptiness that I felt within my heart; and as this fact is beginning to surface and embed into my brain, I instantly felt even weaker. I felt absolutely sickened, and quickly found my way toward the bathroom before I puked my brains out all over the floor.

As I entered the bathroom however, the feeling had somewhat disappeared, which caused me to calm down slightly. Attempting to regulate my breathing, I glanced at my reflection in the mirror, and sighed. My cheeks were flushed, and my hair was sticking out in different directions. I was an absolute hot mess; there’s no way anyone would ever want me looking like this.

Sighing, I know now that the only cure for my broken heart is to find someone new; someone to take all of this overwhelming pain away from me. I needed someone of my own; someone that I didn’t have to steal away from someone simply because I was jealous that they had somebody to love and I didn’t.

As this realization dawned on me, I felt sicker than ever. I turned the cold water on, and splashed some on my face, hoping that this would calm me down some. As I began to wipe my face dry with a paper towel, the door opened, and in strode an absolute angel.

His gorgeous brown hair looked like it had been recently cut and was styled to perfection, the clothes that he wore were deliciously tight, and his face was as beautiful and flawless as always -- he literally took my breath away. He flashed that perfect, gorgeous smile of his at me, a sparkle in his eye as he advanced toward me.

“Mikey Way,” he greeted me cheerfully, sticking his hand out to shake mine. “I heard you were here; I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

His enthusiasm for meeting me was adorable; but I now felt sicker than ever. As I opened my mouth to reply to him, I felt the chunks begin to rise up in my throat, and made a beeline for the nearest stall. I knelt down in front of it, and in the company of one of the absolute most good-looking guys I have ever laid eyes on, emptied the contents of my stomach out into the porcelain throne in front of me.

I felt his soft hands reach up to gather my hair from the front of my face, and instantly felt calmed as he began to stroke my back very gently with his fingers.

“It’s okay, Mikey,” he cooed in that angelic voice of his, gripping my body tightly to his as I continued to hover over the toilet. “It’s okay honey; just let it all out.”

I did as he instructed me to, coughing and heaving up my stomach’s contents. This was my least attractive moment to date; but I simply didn’t care at this point. Having this absolute dream of a man here with me, consoling me at one of my absolute lowest points was more than enough to help me feel better; the overwhelming hopeless feeling that I’d felt since the Black Mamba’s venom began swimming through my system was quickly washed away by the singer of the song that the alcoholic beverage was named after.

He was now sitting along the wall of the bathroom’s stall we were in, and was cradling me close to his chest, resting his head against mine as he rocked me back and forth.

“It’s okay, Mikey,” he kept repeating. “I’ve got you now, it’s okay.”

Sighing, I clutched his jacket tightly and buried my face in his neck, to prevent him from seeing the tears that I felt forming in my eyes. I knew this was inevitable; I couldn’t stop them from falling. I simply wasn’t strong enough.

“Mikey?” He questioned, trying to move my face toward his so he could look at me. I refused, and kept my face hidden within his neck. “Don’t cry, Mikey; I’ve got you, it’s okay--”

“I’m not crying,” I lied, my voice coming out muffled due to my face still buried within his skin.

“You’re not crying?” He asked, obviously unconvinced.

I shook my head. “No, I’m not,” I said, my voice still barely audible due to my hiding place.

“Then why is my neck all wet?”

That did it; he’d broken down my barrier, and I allowed him to move my face so he could look down at me; a sweet smile gracing his gorgeous features as he gently stroked my hair. My eyes fluttered shut as he reached his thumbs up to gently wipe away my tears, making them disappear like they never existed to begin with against the skin on my cheeks. My skin tingled from where his fingers had just grazed, his cool fingers feeling amazing on my burning cheeks.

“That feels really good,” I murmured, opening my eyes so I could look up at him. He grinned down at me, pushing my messy hair back with his long fingers, before trailing them across my cheeks again, and along my lips. I breathed out shakily, my heart skipping a beat as he touched me like that. I reached my hand up to land on top of his, wrapping my fingers securely over his.

“Are you feeling better?” He asked, grinning down at me.

I nodded. “Better than I have felt in a really long time,” I replied, returning his grin. We stayed like that for what seems like a lifetime, neither of us daring to do anything other than stare at one another.

We were so caught up in our embrace, that we failed to even realize that someone had intruded upon our little party on the bathroom floor.

“Hey, who’s in there?” a voice asked, piercing the silence around us, banging on the stall door. Whoever it was could see our lower halves clearly through the bottom of the door, considering the door didn’t go all the way down to the floor.

“It’s okay Tony, it’s just me,” my new friend piped up, grinning down at me, stroking the backs of his fingers across my cheeks again.

“Oh, Mr. Beckett, I’m sorry,” ‘Tony’ apologized, instantly backing off. “I am just doing my rounds, making sure everyone is out due to it being closing time. You have a good night, sir.”

“You too,” he replied, his eyes never leaving mine. “Hey Tony, could you find either Bob Bryar or Ray Toro and inform them that Mikey Way is with me tonight and I’ll return him to them in the morning?”

“Um…” ‘Tony’ trailed off, before quickly replying, “Yes sir. I’ll do that right away.”

“Thanks,” William said, leaning down to place a sweet kiss to my temple. He left his lips to linger against my skin until we heard the bathroom door close, my mind scrambling on overdrive trying to piece together what was going on.

“What was that for?” I asked, unable to resist.

“What was what for?” He questioned, stroking my cheek gently.

“That kiss?”

“Oh,” he blushed, before pressing another kiss to my temple. My heart rate picked up, and small mobs of butterflies began to form within my heart.

“Well Mikey,” he began, grinning down at me. “The first was because I felt like you needed it. The second was because I wanted to.”

“Oh,” I replied, feeling all of the blood rush to my cheeks, knowing that I was blushing like a fool, as well. A wide grin formed on my face, and that swarm of butterflies I felt from before was now double the size, and were beginning to flutter around like crazy.

“William?” I questioned, finally finding my voice again.

“Hmm?” he questioned, once again smoothing my hair back that had fallen in front of my face.

“Are you really taking me home with you?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

“Well, you can if you want to,” he mused, smiling at me. “And please, call me Bill.”

“Okay Bill…” I replied, grinning at him. I kissed his cheek very gently, cradling the side of his face close to mine. I felt the overwhelming urge to kiss him; really kiss him, but then remembered the little fact that I had just puked my brains out only a few minutes before. How very un-sexy and un-amazing our first real kiss would be, if the amazingly gorgeous William Beckett were to taste how disgusting my mouth felt right now.

Sighing, I climbed up off of him, attempting to straighten myself up before sticking my hand out so I could help William, or Bill, up off of the floor. He grinned at me, before taking my hand and getting up.

As we exited the bathroom, he didn’t let it go. As we exited the club, he still didn’t let it go. As he walked me to his car, he opened the passenger door for me, and shut it as I got in. And as William Beckett got in the car as well, he looked over at me and smiled, biting his lip as he inched his incredibly soft hand toward mine. His bracelets made a soft clatter as they rolled down his wrist, but at the very last second, a look of hesitation crossed his flawless features, and instead, rested his hand on the gearshift that separated us.

I grinned at his sudden shyness. “You know, Bill, if you want to hold my hand, all you have to do is say so,” I said, breaking the silence that had formed around us.

He glanced over at me and gave me an awfully charming grin, before slipping his hand in mine.